PASSING NOTES.

Otago Witness, Issue 1866, 26 August 1887, Page 20

PASSING NOTES.

I have tried industriously to shed a tear or two over the scandalous disorders of the capping ceremony, but in vain. I find it; impossible to look at the matter from what I knqw to be the proper point of view— the point of view, namely, of the platform, of academical authority, of chancellor, senators, professors. My point .of view is that of the public, and the public look upon a university capping ceremony as very excellent fun. It is an exhibition of lawlessness, no doubt, but there is no mischief in it. Academical discipline is not impaired^ The students who at a capping punctuate the discourse of their professor with derisive comments and drown his remonstrances with a graceless song, show him all due reverence jm the class room. It were a pity to take the annual saturnalia of' a single night too seriously, and close, as Professor ' Sale threatened, f unique exhibition, the humour of which is immense. It is surprising that the univer-

sity authorities do not rather utilise the occasion for advertising purposes. " Ladies and gentlemen," might the chairman say, " that is the raw material" —pointing to the students ; " this" — indicating by a modest bow and a wave of the hand himself and the ftons around him—" this is the finished product. What they are when we take them in, you see and hear ; in what form we turn them out, behold in beholding us. There was a time when we, incredible though it may appear, were even as they are ; what we are now, they are in the fairest of all possible ways to become. Ponder these things, O friends, and make haste every one of you to enter his boys and his girls at the Otago University." Strange that it has never occurred to any speaker at a capping to point the lesson of the occasion thus ! The students, on the other hand — to their credit be it spoken — do show some sense of the value of advertising, witness the metrical prospectus of their alma mater as chanted in chorus on Friday night : — Johnny Shand's subiect is Electricity ; Professor Black and Willee are great in Chemistry ; In English.Literature.Professor Brown's a regular whale ; At them Ancient Classics you can't beat Sale. Glory, glory Hallelujah ! Professor D. Gibbons slips o'er the Mathematics ; The Rev. Salmond teaches Ancient Ethics ; Parker on the common worm is devil-fishly hot ; To know about your body you have got to go to Scott. Glory, glory, Hallelujah ! There is really no mischief in these young fellows, not a bit, — only a little misdirected zeal — that is all. The general good humour with which Ministers accepted their defeat in the House of Representatives has not lasted, more is the pity. It would have been incalculably edifying if Sir Robert Stout's silvery laugh could have rung out clear and true during the whole" contest, if Sir Julius Vogel could have borne him with a patient shrug, and if Mr Larnach could have restrained himself from any expression stronger than the friendly "kennel up." But it was not to be. Nero, who fiddled while Rome was burning, probably rapped out a round oath when he subsequently surveyed the ruins ; and Ministers, who laughed at a merely hostile vote, have grown preternaiurally grave and shown a somewhat nasty temper as the stern reality of the election struggle forced itself upon them. In one respect only do opposing elements of the Cabinet agree, and that is in a violent antipathy to newspapers that do not speak them fair. Sir R. Stout differs from his colleague Mr Larnach as to the education vote and a few other matters, and both differ from Sir J. Vogel upon retrenchment, and indeed upon nearly every political issue ; but each cordially takes part in a crusade against the Daily Times, and the language of each has occasionally to be pronounced unfit for publication. If such be the case thus early, during the merely preliminary exchanges, is it not possible that deplorable complications will arise when the really warm work commences ? Stout, Vogel, and Larnach either muzzled or bound over to keep the peace as the polling day approaches is one the least alarming pictures that present themselves. The truth is that the interval between the prorogation and the polling day is too long, and the accumulation of spleen has been so rapid that, let Ministers bottle it as they may, the corks will pop from time to time. The best and simplest remedy would be for members of the Government to go into seclusion forthwith, deny themselves newspapers and all communication with the outside world, and emerge three days only before the election. Their digestion then being in good order, and their temper incomparable, they would have a better chance of saving their seats, and the country for a few happy weeks would have enjoyed the luxury of being let alone.

This is an age of subscription lists. Does a deserving widow need a sewing machine, it is purchased by subscription; does Sir Julius require ten millions, it is raised by subscription in the London market. Society is made up nowadays of the men who subscribe and the men who collect subscriptions. There is one man in our midst now, whose name is discreetly veiled, endeavouring <to collect subscriptions; with what success it would be interesting to know. His prospectus, as advertised in an evening paper, is enticing by its novelty. " Secretary, Post Office, Dunedin," is this gentleman's full name and place of residence, as given in the advertisement, and the cause for which he is nobly ready to receive money " from members or non-members " is the Protective and Inquiry Association of New Zealand — an association formed " to watch the conduct of candidates and their canvassers during the progress of the elections, and to prevent bullying, browbeating, buying votes either by cash or promises of reward in any way, or coercion of any kind." The public is further informed that—

This association has, up to the present, been secretly formed throughout New Zealand, with its head office in Wellington, having branches in Aucklaud- and all centres in the North Island, and at Christchurch, Dunedin, and all centres in the South Island. The present membership includes every grade of society, both men and women, who are well known to have the best interests of this our adopted country at heart, and have been so chosen as to form a representation of the association in every city, suburb, country town, and hamlet throughout the colony. There is a spice of mystery in all this that is not without its charm. It is hard to resist the temptation to subscribe secretly to the secrec secretary of a secret association, and patiently wait until, like bread cast upon the waters, your moneys worth comes back in the shape of a mighty scandal, such as the prosecution of Sir Robert Stout for supplying free beer to the working men of Dunedin East. The fund collected at present, says the secret secretary, amounts to £526 12s 8d (the gentleman is particular even to pence), and the association will pay highly for the conviction of any big offender. The routine reward of 20 guineas will be doubled if the culprit is " affluent," if he is worth £10,000 it will be trebled, and quadrupled if he is worth £25,000. For the detection of a still moreaffluent sinner the association will pay 100 guineas. <f Several suspects in, country: and suburbs

are now under surveillance" runs the advertisement, "and this timely warning. is, given to enable them to flee from the wrath to come." The Vehmgericht was as businesslike as this, but it was never quite so candid. Finally our friend the secret secretary remarks with delicious ingenuousness : " This form of self-defence may be termed by some a kind of Socialism." Precisely. Mr Secret Secretary ; and it may be termed by some a kind of something else the name of which also begins with an S, and which is more dangerous to the operator than even socialism.

In the matter of fisticuffs — a matter near to the heart of every Englishman — we are veritably straining at "a gnat and swallowing the proverbial camel. If our members of Parliament (when we elect them) and our leading professional and commercial luminaries disposed themselves upon the top of a dray and drove a few miles out of town to witness an encounter between the " Putney Pet " and the " Game Chicken," there would be an instant howl of indignation, yet it is permitted to crowd a theatre in order to assist at a contest that differs only from the ancient prize fight by reason of a little additional brutality. It was the glorious privilege of the gladiators we used to read of in " Fistiana," and suchlike publications, to adopt a recumbent attitude upon the least pretext, and secure thereby an interval for light refreshment and various restorative processes. Seconds and bottle-holders would swoop instantly upon the pummelled hero, bear him to his corner, and nurse him with scientific tenderness. Every resource was utilised, much as is described by Mr Lewis Carroll in the famous " Hunting of the Snark " : — They roused him with muffins, they roused „ him with ice,

They roused him with mustard and cress ; They roused him with jam and judicious advice, They gave him conundrums to guess. Thus a pugilistic artist with a tough hide and a thick head was enabled in those good old times to fight from the rising of the sun until the going down of the same, and had always a chance of keeping together such senses as Providence had endowed him with. But not' even a conundrum do the seconds seemingly dare to propound to the unlucky " bruiser " who fights with gloves under our modern Queensberry rules. If he chances to be incapacitated early in the round, as was that brutally belaboured fellow Faddes the other evening, he must apparently be left lying about the floor like a sack of coals at the mercy of his antagonist whenever he attempts to gain his feet. It is satisfactory to read that the gorge of an English-speaking public still rises at this kind of thing, but it would be more satisfactory if the arm of the law rose too. If Queensberry " knock-outs " (queer phrase !) areto be permitted, in common fairness give us^back our cock-fights also, and let us have some more little larks with the duckingstool.

Mr Vincent Pyke, to whose attention I commended the fact that the authorship^of his song, "The Old Flag," had been attributed by the Wellington Jubilee Herald to a "M. Brocheton," wrote to that paper the following letter : —

Sir, — Will you kindly inform me upon what authority you state in your issue of the 16th inst. that my song, " The Old Flag," of which I enclose a copy, was begotten of the brains of a "M. Brocheton." An early answer will be esteemed a favour. — Yours very truly, Vincent Pykb. To this inquiry the editor replies by an " apology " in which he is feebly funny, and uses a good deal of badly spelt French. He had merely intended, he protests, an innocent joke at Mr Pyke's expense, "brocheton" being French for "pickerel," or "small pike." A pretty " apology," truly, and eminently complimentary to Mr Pyke 1 The Jubilee Herald is still in the stage of jurenile inexperience, and possibly does not aspire to be considered a serious journal. But at anyrate it will be well for the editor to revise his ideas as to what constitutes a joke. To print Mr Pyke's song at full length and append as signature the French word for " small; pike " is an approach to literary larrikinism which Mr Pyke might resent. Anyhow, it seems a laborious way of being funny. The Rev, Mr Waddell has been a good deal mishandled by newspaper letter writers for the sentiments and the logic of his sermon on the jßible-in-Homes versm the Bible-in-Schools. It is a mistake to expect logic of a preacher. It is enough if you get fervour. If I remember correctly, Mr Waddell's sermon, which I duly read at the time, had a fine poetic glow about it that should have atoned for any number of logical inconsistencies. The preacher who can glow seems to be going out of fashion, or- possibly has gone over to the Salvation Army. > One misses nowadays the tender, tearful, sympathetic pulpit orator who used to bring the pockethandkerchiefs of his hearers into play, and co^ild compress volumes of spiritual suggestion into " that blessed word Mesopotamia." That is a loss which no amount of John Millish chop-logic preaching can compensate. If Mr Waddell's sermon was not a string of syllogisms, I reckon that a good fault. Its sentiment was sound, and that is more .than can be said of the letters of some of ; his critics. All this about Mr Waddell's sermon, however, is a digression ; what I intended to note in this paragraph, only I am a long time in coming to it, was not the sermon at all, but a curious sentence in a letter written by Mr Waddell to explain and justify the sermon. Here is the sentence : —

If you go deep enough down into the earth, all lines, no matter how far apart they start, converge at Jast to a meeting centre : ancUf you go deep' enough down in controversy, it will often be. found that the seeming differences are after all 'upon the surface. This is an illustration or analogy in the true pulpit manner now so hard to find ; heard from the pulpit it would sound satisfying and carry conviction ; read, as here, in a secular newspaper it serves only to start those obstinate, questionings so characteristic of our ' rationalistic age. "If yon go down deep enough into the earth," says the preacher, " all lines, no matter how far apart they start, converge at last to a' meeting centre." Why, so they do — if they are converging- lines. And so they will if, instead of going down deep enough

into the earth, you go high enough up into the air. In earth or sky, however far apart they start, converging lines will undoubtedly converge. But suppose they be parallel lines, Mr Waddell ? Are we to understand in that your mathematics parallel lines will meet "if we go down deep enough, into the earth " ? For the sake of the second member of your comparison — about the " seeming differences " of controversy — I could wish that the first were sound. As the case stands, I am reluctantly constrained to deny both.

One of the most harrowing calamities that can befall a public speaker is, I should fancy, the unintended transposition and interchange of words — as, for instance, when "mess of pottage" becomes "pot of message," or when " tired Nature's sweet restorer, balmy sleep," is announced as " sweet Nature's tired restorer, sleepy balm." I cannot say that ever I myself heard these delightful examples, but I have heard as good, and so have most of us. Talmage relates that on one occasion, whilst preaching about Esau's mess of pottage, the possibility of a ludicrous transposition of the words flashed across his mind, and from that moment his sermon was ruined. As often as the phrase recurred, he had to struggle between "mess of pottage" and "pot of message " ; before long he didn't know which was which ; one seemed as right as the other. Bad as this case is, there are worse. The London Spectator gives some examples. " Sorrow may endure for a joy " so an Irish clergyman is reported to have read with the utmost feeling, " but night cometh in the morning." The Spectator knows of another cleric, intelligent and accomplished, whose involuntary pranks of this kind, as reported, must make him a treasure to his younger hearers. "My brethren," so ran one of his most startling announcements, "we all know what it is to have a halfwarmed fish — i.e., half -formed wish — in our hearts." This, it will be observed, is a mere transposition of initial letters, but the mischief goes further: "He has been known to speak of 'Kinquering congs,' and on one ' occasion, ever memorable to his interlocutor, addressing himself to a gentleman who had intruded upon his seat in church, he politely remarked : * Pardon me, sir, but I think you are occupewing my pie.' " Mere nervousness from anxiety to be correct, thinks the Spectator, may explain these distressing aberrations. Hardly so, in my opinion. At some time or other— in his salad days, of course— the clerical victim has indulged in farcical contortings of words, and his vocal organs, remaining unregenerate, lapse into an old habit. There are people who think it wit to say "Toby or not Toby I—that1 — that is the question," to talk of " a temple in the niche of fame," and to pervert the venerated Dr Watts into : How doth the little busy bee Delight to bark and bite. These tricks of the tongue are dangerous. The unruly member may revert to them without orders and on very inappropiate occasions. Civis.

In connection with the 4th of July celebrations in America, a memorial was presented to President Cleveland, signed by 100 members of the House of Commons, in which satisfaction was expressed at the proposed treaty between Great Britain and the States, which' stipulated that any differences or disputes arising between the two Governments which cannot be adjusted by diplomatic agency shall be referred to arbitration. From our cablegrams this week it appears that a deputation of members is to visit Washington to memorialise Congress on the subject. The treaty will naturally apply to disputes with Canada ; and there appears to be some necessity for it, as the Premier of the Dominion is invoking the aid of British troops to prevent the junction of American railways with those of the Dominion in Manitoba.

About 3.30 on Sunday morning (says the Riverton Star) the building lately used as a Native school on the Maori reserve was observed to be in flames by Jessie Howell, whilst she was in bed. She gave the alarm to John Arnett, who informed the police, and when they arrived on the scene the building was nearly consumed. There is nothing to show how the building was fired, but there are strong and well-grounded suspicions of incendiarism, and consequently it is probable that an inquiry will be held and the suspected person arrested. Solomon and bis wife lived in the teacher's residence close by, and he was awakened by the noise. He claims the section as his property, and states that he put upj the building 25 years ago as a church, and that it was to revert back to him when it ceased io be occupied as a school. The building wa^ lately advertised by the Native department for sale for removal, but the order was countermanded for the purpose of holding the poll for ja Native member on September 7. In consequence of the destruction of the building, the courthouse has" been fixed as the polling place.

The Tuapeka Times states that Mr J. F, Edgar, of Lawrence, has instituted proceedings for libel against the proprietor of the Tapanui Courier on account of an article which appeared in a recent issue of that paper. The damages are laid at £500. The case comes on for hearing at the next sitting of the Supreme Court at Dunedin.

Archbishop Redwood is to be invested with the pallium at Wellington next Sunday. Bishop Luck, of Auckland, and Fathers Egan and Sullivan, from the same district, have left Auckland to take part in the ceremony.

Owing to the breaking down of the Wakatipu mail steamer Ben Lomond on Monday, the Mountaineer had to be despatched to Kingston for the mail.

A large and well-defined reef has been digcovered at Tawhere, in the Waikafco district. The stone is highly charged with minerals, aud experts say it will be found to contain silver, and possibly; gold. A box of stone has been sent to the Bank of New Zealand for analysis.