EDITORS WALLET.

Otago Witness, Issue 1861, 22 July 1887, Page 35

EDITORS WALLET.

HOW A MONKEY TOOK MEDICINE. It is an understood fact that not only does a happy disposition conduce to health, but that laughter itself has proved in some cases one of the best medicines. Here is an instance :—: — A patient being very low with fever, his doctor ordered him a dose of rhubarb. A pet monkey belonging to the sick',man was present while the nurse prepared the medicine. When she left the room theanimal, not knowing that his master was watching him, slipped slily to the table, took up the goblet containing the liquid and put it to his lips. The first taste was probably strange to him, and he made a comical grimace, but he disliked to give it up. Another sip, and he got the sweet of the syrup. Ana ! His grotesque visage brightened. He cast; a furtive glance around, and then; sat down with the goblet firmly grasped, and .pretty soon he placed it to his lips and drank to the dregs. Perhaps there had been a' wineglassful of syrup of manna— not more — while the rhubarb had all settled. But he had found it, and before he had fully realised the change of taste he had swallowed nearly the whole of the nauseous dose. Mercy! what a face he made over it! The sick man was spell-bound. Never in his life had he seen anything so grotesquely and | ridiculously human 1 The face of' the* disj gusted monkey was a study. He ground his | teeth and actually stamped his foot as he bad seen his master do when' angry, A$ last', his excitement reached a climax. He stood up, his eyes flashed, he grasped the goblet by its slender stock with all his might, shut his teeth, and then, with a spiteful, vengeful snap, he hurled it with mad fury upon, the floor, and seemed entirely satisfied as he saw the thousand different pieces flying ab®ut. Never before' had the sick man seen anything to equal it, The whole, scene and all the' circumstances, everything about it,| appeared to him so supremely and comically ludicrous that he burst into- a fit of -laughter that lasted until his nurse , came to 'see" what was the matter. And when he-triecLto tell, her he laughed again more 'heartily/if pos-"

sible, than before — laughed until he sank back exhausted and in profuse perspiration. The purse anxiously sponged and wiped his skin ; he perspired and laughed again ] until he slept; and when he awoke a reaction j had taken place, the fever had been broken, and he was on the sure road to convalescence. THE ALPHABET ILLUSTRATED. \ Ais for Apple. How small boys delight To stand 'round an apple and beg for a bite t The Apple, Q. Bls for Ball. It is used in a game To capture gate money. How base is its aim ! The Ball. Oois for Cup. When it's filled with hot tea 'ihe women gos-sip it. They're fond of beau-he. The Cup, Do. Dis for Dollar. A dollar, you know, Is round. That's the reason it rolls away so. The Dollar, $. Ei* for Egg. Ifc is laid by a hen. When fresh, soffc, and cracked, ifc resembles some men. Th« Egg, ©.* Pis for Fishhook. This fishermen prize. If they bad no fishhook they wouldn't tell lies. The Fishhook, J . Gis for Goblet. Some people, alas 1 Get very red noses who gaze in this glass. .The Goblet. J His for Hand. A hand coats a lot When some other fellow can rake In the pot. The Hand, gp°. lis for Icic'e. Like a poor joke. Its point is transparent and easily broke. Ihe Icicle, VJ is for Jacks t raws. This little game serves To strengthen your patience and 31 eady your nerves. The Jacks traws, !!!!!!. I Kis for Key. 'Tis a whis-key that locks The door of a prison as tight as a box. The Key, 0 m Lis for Line. Some statesmen may wish The lines they have written were dropped to a fish. j The Line, . Mis for Marbles. They have to be small, Or else little boys couldn't ehoot 'em at all. The Marbles, 0000. Nis for Note. It makes one feel blue To know that to-morrow there's one falling due. The Note, j I. 0. U. j Ois for Orange. An orange farm pays The sellers. The buyers but mortgages raise. The Orange, Q. Pis for Poker. Your mother-in-law Should give you the poker if ever you " draw." The Poker, p.— — — Qis for Question. First question the pop ; Then pop off the question before you can stop. The Question, ?. Kis for King. The ring we like best Comes out of the dinner bell when we're a guest. The Ring, O. Sis for Stars. They all scintillate true. And, pardon the jest-nut, men sin till late, too. The Stars, * * * *. Tis for Tacks. When they go in your heel An in-come tax heavy you probably feel. The Tacks, T T TU'B for Umbrella. We're betting a cent That someone will say it is used up and lent. The Umbrella, J Vis for Villain. A villain is bad, And ought to be walloped each day by his dad. ' The Villain, -0XI W's for Worm. If on Sundays it's dug It goes with a fiahpole, a man and a jug. The Worm, «. X for X-ample in algebra stands ; i It puzzles our brains till our forehead expands. The X-ample, A-Y-C x B*= X. Vis for Yacht. Hold H'England, you know, Sends over his yachts and we take 'em in tow. i \> The Yacht, | 1 Zis for Zigzag. Some men who get tight Know all about zigzags, and walk 'em at night. The Zigzag, — H. C. Dodge, in the Detroit Free Press.