THE' MODERN WITCH'S CALDRON.

Otago Witness, Issue 1858, 1 July 1887, Page 36

THE' MODERN WITCH'S CALDRON.

Sfcir the caldron round and round, In it let strange things be found, One by one, oh. give them place: Silken ribbon, fllmy lace ; Here a dimple, there a pout, Then an eyelash peeping out ; Hairpins, perfumes, tucks and frills, Chewing gum and milliner's bills ; Jewelled garter, corset string. Bow and bang and diamond ring ; Bustle huge of twisted wire, Hat that rises high and higher, French heels, powder, dainty nose, Busy lips and silken hose, Velvet skin and smiling eyes, Kvebrows curving as they rise. Through the strange unsavory mess Weave a long and golden tress ; Add a costume tailor-made, With a lot of padding staid ; Stir them, stir them, every one, 'Till the fatal mass is done ; Boil it to the proper pitch, Then, behold the modern witch ! —Sun and Voice.

Tantalising fob Nephew.— An eccentric old man at Montrouge has cruelly hoaxed a nephew, to whom he bequeathed in his will 100,000f in gold. The money was said to have been buried at a spot only known to his faithful dog Cajsar. The heir had nothing to do but pronounce the magic words, " Csesar, cherche I " but, as soon as they are pronounced the malicious beast turns round and bites the young man. The experiment has been repeated several times, and the net result is simply half a dozen dog bites.

Quick Sales and Small Pbofits.— " James," said the druggist to the new boy, • if you can induce a customer to purchase a quantity of anything by offering him a small discount, you may do so. It is a good business principle, James, to turn your capital often, although the margin of profit is not so large." " Yes, sir," replied James, and the proprietor went out to lunch.

On his return he learned, with more or less satisfaction, that intelligent James had induced a customer, who only wanted one two-cent postage stamp, to buy the entire stock at a cent and a half apiece. — New York Sun.

Cassandra's Gift. — Cassandra was one of the 19 children whom Hecuba, his second wife, bore to Priam, King of Troy. She was dowered with rare beauty, and amongst her jnany lovers was Apollo, who promised if she look fayourably on his wooipgto gr^nt

her whatevei she asked: The gift of prophecy was the boon she craved ; but no sooner was the power hers than she refused to fulfil her part of the contract. The outraged god' bbuld not take' back his gift, but he wetted his lips while imprinting on hers the parting kiss, rendering by this act her prophecies for ever futile. She might lift up Her voice and cry aloud, but no one, believing her, would ever ,give heed to her prophetic ravings. Their tragic troths, however, came home to all concerned when it was too late. — J. Forbes Robertson, in The Magazine of Art. „ ,

astonished

granger.

Exemplifying a Pbovbeb.— "Did you ever go to war, boss?" inquired a tramp of a farmer. ' , " No, sir ; I did not ; I have* enough to do looking after my hogs." " Thank heaven !" fervently ejaculated the tramp. "What for?" asked the astonished granger. " Because I have at last met the man who really believes that the pen is mightier than* the sword. — Texas Sif tings. How TO Bebak an Ox. — Somebody wrote to the editor of , a village paper to ask how, he would " break sn ox." The editor replied as follows :—" If only one ox, a good way would be to hoist him, by means of a long chain attached to his tail, - to the top of a ■ pole about 40ft from the ground. Then hoist him, by a rope tied to his horns to another pole. Then descend on to his back a five-ton pile driver, and if that doesn't break , him let him start a country newspaper, and trust people for subscriptions. One of the two ways will do it, sure/