THE TRAINING OF CHILDREN.

Otago Witness, Issue 1858, 1 July 1887, Page 32

THE TRAINING OF CHILDREN.

In these days of enlightenment and education the care of parents and guardians is not so much' to teach " the young idea how to shoot "as how not to shoot, for it has got a knack of shooting in a most precocidus manner, and In a good many, directions where it would, be. better, not to shoot at all. To hold the parental shears so firmly and gently that the clipping and pruning process is scarcely, felt, and if felt, nofc painfully so, should be a matter of > much care and thought. The twig that is early bent is easily : ,bent, .but to allow it to . grow without .any bending, until it has become firm and strong means, t generally, a. breaking process when restriction is brought to bear upon it.

■ Children are not • nearly so happy when allowed to follow the bent of their own wills, as' .when acting in accordance ,with the wishes of those wiser than themselves.. Left alone their undirected impulses < get them into all sorts of trouble, so that it is cruelty on the part of guardians to indulge or neg-' lect those children in their charge, leaving them an undisputed field of action ; for in a little while, when they enter the thick of life's fight, they are quickly brought to find their level. They meet with many as good as themselves, - with rights and privileges equal to their own, and little by little these unfortunate indulged ones are obliged to understand that they cannot have all their own way. . This knowledge is very painful, for the unpruned wills do not make a yielding process easy»> On the other hand, some parents are far too stern. The young green shoots of i affection and confidence meet with such a continual chill that they become frostbitten, and wither. No parent ever made a greater mistake than in checking the confidence of the children. While a mother has the confidence of her sons and daughters she possesses an unbounded influence, but if by her sternness and reserve the minds of her children close to her, it is plain that her influence cannot be 90 great. There are parents who with a wise blending of firmness and tenderness keep their^ children's hearts open to them even* while they obey. The hearts of the young are very sensitive plants, and quickly close with rough handling, and one of the saddest sights a home can show is a group of depressed, restrained boys and girls speaking in whispers because of the presence of a stern .father, or ending their little confidences with " Don't tell mother." Nothing fosters deceit and untruth so much as fear. The boy and girl who is afraid to confess a fault for* fear of undue punishment is in 1 a fair way of growing up underhanded and sly ; indeed, if, they do not they must be possessed of more than ordinary strength of character. In some homes the mother -> reigns queen, of her. children's lives — to do her will and give her pleasure is happiness to them. A wise i training, is sure to bring its reward. The parents reap generally as they sow. Undue indulgence brings troublesome children — undue sternness a lack of filial love. < i

The pleasures of children should be a matter also of care to guardians. " All work and no. play makes Jack a dull boy." Outdoor , exercise is absolutely necessary for health's sake. Some mothers of young children (especially girls) keep them shut up indoors for fear of spoiling nice clothes. This is cruel. The children of the street, making their mud pies, stand a better chance of enjoying good health than the poor dressed-up unfortunates. » Why, not tufcri' them out for half the day and let them romp to their heart's, content, and dress them up afterwards. It is as senseless to try and keep a kitten quiet as to keep a healthy child still. If a child is so quiet that it; is averse to!play there must be something wrong witbit.-r

The amusements of children have much to do with the development of mind as well as body. Let two children play> " grab " for an unlimited time. They begin smiling and quiet. In half an hour's time they are flushed and, excited, noisy, and perhaps rude. Qree'd is seen- in the glitter of the eye and half stretched-out hand. It, is , all very well for an occasional game, but everlasting grab playing would develop an avaricious pro'^ensit- '

The tastes, of children are as various as .those" tof grown up people, and wise parents will let the natural taste (where it is not vicious) haye ( s[#ay. One boy takes his pairitbox/another'withhis knife cuts out of woodojr cardboard a ship or other fancy thing. One girl turns naturally to her piano, another to her fancy work-p-each particular taste shows itself, ; and'lt is absurd for' parents to try to mould their children all after one model, as (Nature. has gifted each separately, and it' is better to falUin with Nature's plan and rather endeavour to help it along than attempt^ change its bent. Some parents join in occasionally with' the sports of their children. This adds greatly to the enjoyment and brings parent and child closer together. • I remember now distinctly trying to teach my father to play at building card houses, and how he couldn't learn, and the patience I bestowed upon him in my anxiety to teach him, and his merry laugh as he romped about with us, playing at blindiman's bluff or rounders have left an indelible impression on my mind. Home evenings can be made very precious to children if the parents' will lay themselves out' to do so )It* is fatal for the children, to grow- up regarding home .as, the last place' on earth wheie pleasure is to be expected. With little ones, mothers cwill find that keeping them -em-

ployed r greatiy, helps; them- i/towafrdg.^the maintenance' of good humour.; "-If mean, of course, a pretence of employment, for.it ia wrong — very wrong (unless the parents bq too poor to avoid it) — to make little old menjand women of those of tender, years. . .It. : Is a pitiful sight to see the little backs bent- with early burdens. , ; ,/; - rr ;,>» O little' feet ! that such long years ' ; " "•** '** Must wander on through hopes and fears, . Must ache and.bleed beneath your load. , ■ • I, nearer to th,'e wayside 'inn, " • s Where toil shall cease and rest begin I ,' Am weary, thinking of your load, i c< ,' < ' (To be continued.) .> - >\ v . -