THE OTAGO WITNESS.

Otago Witness, Issue 1855, 10 June 1887, Page 21

THE OTAGO WITNESS.

WITH WHICH IS INCOBPOHATED THE SOUTHEBN MEBCUBY. ,

FRIDAY, JUNE 10, 1887.

, PASSING NOTES.

Thebe is a melancholy peculiarity about the life history of a Ministry. In the end it must 9 always perish by the hand of violence. The Czar of Russia may possibly die in his bed. The chances are that he will die quite otherwise, but it is not forbidden him to hope for a strictly private and domestic demise, with "bath, piano"— as the boarding-houses advertise,— and every other comfoxt around him. Not so a Ministry. The invariable fate of Ministries is assassination — assassination, tempered by the hope of resurrection, and revenge. Major Atkinson would probably demur to being regarded in the light of a Parliamentary assassin. For the purposes of this note it is quite sufficient to, regard him in the light of a Parliamentary hangman, executing the Ministry and the last dread sentence of the law ; either way the Ministry, as every Ministry must, dies a death of violence, which is what I set out by saying. And that is a very sombre fact. Is there no way of hiring a Ministry to govern the country for a fixed term, at, the end of which they might be presented with testimonials and retire honourably amidst universal respect ? Probably not. Marriage by capture is defunct, leaving as traces of its existence only the ineffective demonstrations of resistance to the carrying off of the bride which her relatives make by throwing . rice and old shoes ; but Government by capture — equally an institution of our savage ancestors— survives, and as yet we have hardly even begun to think it peculiar. A writer in the "Fortnightly" suggests that the Imperial Parliament should meet onoe in five years only. Suppose we say for a colonial Legislature once in three years, the Ministry to retire of necessity at the end of that time, though eligible for reappointment ? Verily it might not be at all a bad thing. We should then at anyrate escape the annual squabble for place, power, pay, and pickings, which is about the only return some of our honourable representatives make us for their two hundred guineas a year.

Subscriptions towards getting poor Burns out of debt come in slowly, very slowly. The poet, his bills unpaid, sits in the high places of the city a brazen symbol of universal bankruptcy. Was ever such dishonour done before to poet, living or deadl To think that Scotchmen should have selected their national bard, of all men, to fill such a, humiliating role ! If the committee i are friends to his name and fame, and would shelter him, sitting there in an insolvent condition, from the jeers of the stranger, they should cover him up again, quick, hiding his shame and their own till ' his countrymen provide the necessary bawbees. Or, if indifferent on the point of honour, they have an alternative course. Provide Burns with a big collection box, sling it round his neck, and let him mutely beg as a street mendicant till the money for his ransom is made up. Poor Burns! If ever encounters Messrs Thomson, Fergus, Stout, and Co. in the fields of asphodel there will be a heavy settling for this 1 In some verses, not without merit, a correspondent sets forth the poet's present sentiments on the pitiful situation to which his pseudo devotees have reduced him. I have room for only a verse or two : Come a' my honest countryfolk Wha venerate the name o' Scot, And free me frae this cursed block O' speckled granite, And pit me in the meltra' pot — I canna stan' it ! I've heard eneugh o' mortgaged lan, I've heard o' kirks being in the pawn ; JBut quid sake, whar the deil ye gaun, Ye doited loons, Tae stick'me up on granite stane In borrowed plumes ! The afflicted poet goes on to exhort the « doited loons " that they Sup less parribch, save the meal Tae pay the cheque ; failing which, he utters a terrible threat : Or else by a' the powers aboon I'll ask some red wud Hame Rule loon, Just oot o' spite, Tae blaw^me up oot owre the moon Wi' dynamite!

<" There are a good many donkeys in (theological gardens," writes Mark Twain's Americ&a schoolboy, confusing, as one sees, ■"theological" with "zoological." On the aame authority we learn that " some of the best foseiils are found in theological cabinets," — a 'perfectly unexceptionable statement, though probably the author of it erred from his own purpose through a pardonable •confusion of thought between " theological " and "geological." Anyhow, I prefer the original version,' unamended — of course not

with the view of applying it to last week's proceedings in the Dunedin Presbytery! Oh, dear no ! Certainly net I And yet those proceedings were undeniably peculiar. , By way of welcome to their new theological professor just arrived from Dundee, where heresy-hunts are a recognised public amusement, the Presbytery got up a theological war dance round a culprit, improvised for 'the occasion, in the person of the Key. Mr Gibb, minister of the First Kirk, who, when excited, by tea land' cake at a soiree of the Eev. Mr Waddell's, had spoken words, or was believed to have spoken words, against the Ten Commandments. Most of us remember the Indian camp scenes in Fennimore Cooper's novels where a captive, spreadeagled to a tree, serves " as target for , the vituperation of the old women of the tribe and the more lethal weapohc of the braves. Something like this was the entertainment improvised for the new professor from Dundee in order to make him feel quite at home and really amongst friends. Of course no actual harm was inflicted on, the Rev. Mr Gibb ; none was intended. Nobody really wanted his scalp. The tomahawk of the Key. Mr Will whizzed close by one ear, the arrows of the Key. Mr Finlayson close by the other, but neither warrior meant to hurt him. It was merely a war dance in honour of the great medicine man from Dundee, the Rev. Mr Gibb being selected to play the unpleasant role of victim because, probably, although only a recently admitted stranger from another tribe, he has somehow become possessed of the best wigwam in the village.

Supposing, however, Messrs Finlayson, Will, and the rest, in earnest, or as much in earnest as they had courage to be, I revert with satisfaction to Mark Twain and the American schoolboy as quoted above. Whether Mr Gibb's reading of the Ten Commandments is as strict as it ought to be, I 'aim quite unable to decide ; but I would like to ask Messrs Finlayson and Will, with ,the others who have a zeal for the law, what their own reading of it may be. Is it not written of the seventh day of the week, "In it thou shall do no manner of work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, thy maidservant, thy cattle, nor the stranger within thy gates" ? What it sorely perplexes me to discover, as a man who in his way believes in the Ten Commandments, is the reading that ministers and elders give to these words. The maidservant at the manse lights the fires on Sabbath quite as usual, boils the minister's parritch, makes his coffee, fries his eggs and bacon. His man-servant saddles his ox or his ass, or at any rate his horse, for the minister to ride to his Sabbath preaching stations. No good Jew would do or permit any of these things, and what I want to know is, how, if we are to read the Ten Commandments strictly, these things can be done or permitted by good Christians. I proposed this difficulty long since to Mr A. C. Begg, but from that source got no satisfaction. Perhaps Messrs Finlayson and Will may prove more affable. As these zealous presbyters are prepared to enforce a strict reading as against their dear brother Gibb, let them tell' us to what extent they enforce it against themselves. Ordinarily, this curiosity would savour of impertinence. To the extraordinary doings in the Dunedin Presbytery it is pertinent in a very eminent degree.

On this subject a correspondent, who is a Presbyterian, and the son of a Presbyterian, sends me the following : —

| Jt is to be feared that Presbyterianism has sadly degenerated in New Zealand, in spite of the efforts of the Rev, Mr Bannerman and his "tail" to preserve its|pristine purity. What that ' gentleman is pleased to term " human hymns " have taken the place of the melodious measures of Sternhold and Hopkins, and that pernicious instrument of Popery and black prelacy, the organ, has made havoc with the austere simplicity and unbending rigour for which the Covenanters bled— and let blood — so freely. Even a "heresy hunt" fails to '[ rouse the fathers of the church as of yore. This is woefully apparent from the, report of proceedings of the Presbytery of Dunedin a few days ago, when the Rev. Mr Gibb was " libelled " for some remarks " anent " the Decalogue. It seems | that this clergyman made the speech in question at a soiree, when it is possible that an overdose of tea and muffins may have contributed largely | to an exuberance of verbosity unusual to him on less convivial occasions, for it came' out that be spoke for some 25 minutes., (I wonder how long' his sermons are !) However, Presbyteries make no allowance' for post-prandial enthusiasm, and Mr Gibb had to explain. The " sweet little cherub who sits up aloft " to look after these slight lapses from orthodoxy is the Rev. Mr Finlayson, presbytery clerk and minister of Blueskin. " O terque quaterque beati " 1 Blueskinienses ! On the whole, Mr Gibb seemed inclined to treat the matter as a joke, though as one, perhaps,' of a somewhat ponderous sort (for it must be borne in mind that the Scotch as a nation " joke wi' deeficulty "), and wished to dismiss the aocusation briefly. This would have satisfied most of the " brethren," who, no doubt, wished themselves well out of the business ; but the Rev. Mr Will had come prepared to act the part of "deputy-shepherd," and was by no means to be robbed of his prey. In his opinion Mr Gibb should "hail the opportunity," and when the victim would not " hail " as desired, Mr Will, like Saul of Tarsus— whom, indeed, he somewhat; resembles in respect of his speech— "breathed forth threatenings " about taking the matter to the. synod. Eventually all was amicably settled. Mr Will, on behalf of the Ten Commandments, declared himself satisfied, and Mr Gibb was discharged without a stain on his orthodoxy. They manage' these things better in Melbourne, as the Rev. Charles Strong can testify. Still it is " grateful and comforting "to know that with Messrs Finlayson, Bannerman, and Will in the flesh, there is still a " remnant that has not bowed the knee to Baal "

A Dunedin trading firm send me, with " compliments to ' Civis,' " a sample of a, new local production— namely, a tin of linseed meal, encompassed by a printed paper giving "hints on poultice making." I forbear to mention the name of the firm lest they should suspect me of suspecting them of seeking a gratuitous advertisement. Such thoughts be far from both of us ! I prefer to meditate on what may be the inner meaning of this singular gift — a tin of native linseed meal, with " hints on poultice making." ' Not without some, sense of the fitness of things has it been sent to "Civis." For, in truth, the

clapping on of moral poultices isa part, of my businesi in this very column. The idea is a disagreeable one — no doctor, I fancy, particularly likes to handle a poultice— the idea is disagreeable — but .duty is duty, and iwblcsse oblige. When any member, any organ, any part of the body politic — say, for example, a presbytery, a city council,' a bush essayist, or "a pharmaceutical poet-f-is discovered to 1 , be in a tumid and inflamed condition, my function is at once to apply a poultice. Dr 'Stenhouse, I am sure, will appreciate the figure, and even to Mr Dugald Ferguson it will not be altogether unintelligible.. From the " hints, &c," I learn that this treatment is "soothing" and "remedial." I hope my patients find it' so. There are cases in which a more energetic treatment 1 is required — cases that require a blister. I name no names, but there are auch cases. There, too, I shall not be found wanting.' For choice, however, I take the emollient method, " soothing " and " remedial," representedby this votive tin of linseed meal. Cms. .

Our correspondent at Naseby telegraphs as follows:— "It is not likely that Mr Scobie Mackenzie will be opposed in his candidature for the Mount Ida seat, as his action on all matters of local interest has given universal satisfaction. Mr Vincent Pyke will probably also have a walk over for the Dunstan." " •

A correspondent sends us the followiug interesting particulars of a Maori funeral :—'• On Tuesday last, in the little churchyard of the Maori Kaik, Moeraki, a gathering of Natives and Europeans assembled to pay the last tokens of respect to the memory of Rawiri Te Mamaru, Native magistrate for the district, who died on the 13th May last. The funeral of the deceased would have taken place earlier, but in order to give friends from a distance an opportunity of attending, the date of interment was fixed' for Tuesday last. Friends came from North and South, from Eaiapoi, Temuka, and far off Stewart Island. A massive) concrete vault had bee,n prepared to receive the remains of the deceased, which were enclosed in a leaden coffin. Glass had been inserted both in the lid of, the coffin and in the roof of the vault, so that the stars by night and the sun by [day will still look down on the face of ,the dead chief. The Rev.. Wynter Blathwayt conducted (in Maori) the funeral service, which was that of the Church of England ; and it was inexpressibly sad to reflect that one was listening to a dying language amid the survivors ,'of a noble but perishing race. Rawiri Te Mamaru was appointed a Native magistrate as far back as 1861, and.was. was highly respected by his own people as well as by the Europeans with whom he was brought in contact. The sitting of the Native Land Court at Temuka wsfe'suspended on the day of his funeral as a token of the great esteem in which he was held. On the memorial stone above his remains an inscription in Maori has been cut, showing that among! the Natives of New Zealand his pedigree and position were of the noblest. He had attained the patriarchal age of 79."

On Monday afternoon, at Milton, a man named John Bannatyne met with an accident which resulted in a dislocation of the thigh.! It appears that he and another man were driving along the road in a gig, and had come to a gateway, through which they wished to pass. The horse, however, became festive, and suddenly swerved to one side of -the road, which at this part was very narrow. One wheel went over the side of the road and the gig was overturned, and the men precipitated down the bank. Bannatyne was conveyed by train to the Dunedin Hospital yesterday, where he was attended to by Dr Roberts. His companion escaped unhurt.

On Wednesday afternoon the new class-rooms which have lately been added to the Arthur street school were opened in the presence of a number of gentlemen, The largest room is built to accommodate) about 110 children, and is 40ft by 22ft, with a height of 16ft. There are two other rooms off this one, each 15ft by 14ft, and the ventilation in all of them is on the most approved principle.

At a meeting held at Ophir the following resolutions have been passed unanimously: — (1) " The want of railway commnnication with the seabeard being most disastrous to the best interests of the settlers in this district and to the whole Interior of Otago, this meeting resolves that Parliament be earnestly urged to devise means for the more speedy construction' of the Otago Central railway. (2) That in consideration of the very slow progress that has been made with this railway during the 10 or more years it has been under construction, and the present state of colonial finance giving little hope for improvement in the future, this meeting would therefore earnestly urge that Parliament would agree to the bill now before the House for the further prosecution of this railway by a company or syndicate. (3) That the chairman of this meeting telegraph the foregoing resolutions to Mr Pyke, together with a vote of thanks for his exertions in this matter."

At a meeting of ladies in Auckland, presided over by the mayor, it has been resolved to adopt the scheme of the " Queen's fund " suggested by Lady Jervois, the money to be devoted to the relief of distressed women of all classes.

The branch of the Salvation Army at Welling, ton intend to celebrate the jubilee by giving a dinner to 1000 poor children.

The Education Board invite applications for a number of vacancies. * Mr F. S. Pillans has a farm at Stirling for sale.

The address of William Hanson is inquired for.

Mr lan. S. Simson -will sell stock and implements, kt Otama, on the 15th inst. ; building allotments in Gore, on the 18th inst. ; and stock and implements, at Riversdale, on the 24th inst.

The West Taieri and Maungatua ploughing match will be held on Mr Hodge's farm, Maungatua, on 24th inst.

Mr J. Everest will sell cows, horses, &c., at Shag Valley, on the 15th inst.

Messrs Donald Reid and Go. will sell store bullocks, &0., »t Burneide Yards, on the 15th inst.

The advisability of establishing an extensive powder manufactory in Australasia has often been under discussion, and there is now a prospect of some practical steps being taken, in this direction. Mr Moore, a powder manufacturer at Bexley, is making overtures at the present moment to the Victorian Minister of Defence, Mr Lorimer, in the hope of obtaining such concessions as will justify the expenditure of sufficient capital to establish powder works in the colony. Mr Moore's terms are not considered excessive, and probably something will come of the negotiations.