PASSING NOTES.

Otago Witness, Issue 1832, 31 December 1886, Page 22

PASSING NOTES.

Eighteen hundred and eighty seven ! Positively, for some of us this is getting alarming. Those of us, for example, who constituted ourselves the natural and original aristocracy of Otago by coming over iv one of the " first four ships," that is, in the year of grace 1848 — how does it suit us to read in the headline of our Witness this week, 1887? If Ijdon't mistake^ the " old identity," who now dwells in marble halls, would gladly go back if he could to the early days when he wore a blue shirt, lived in a bark hut, and squatted about his unfenced section ankle-deep in mud and water — the early days when North Dunedin was a swamp, Princes street a meandering dray track sticky as a glue pot, and -when it used to rain on the forest-clad shores of Otago harbour as it now rains at the Sounds, for three weeks at a stretch. There is not an " old identity" extant who would not exchange '87 for '48, if only he could. To people past middle life the "inaudible and noiseless foot of Time" gets over the ground at an alarming pace, and the years pile themselves up too quickly. Very curious, then, when one thinks of it, is the custom of greeting every successive New Year with noisy demonstrations of delight. Is life so weary that the sight of another milestone on the road is welcome ? One must be very old or very hopeless to feel like that. The very old do, no doubt, get to talk about their own early departure, and other people's, in a matter-of-fact way which is sometimes distressing, sometimes grotesque, like the Tweedside farmer told of by Norman MacLeod. »« I'm thinking, Nancy," said the old man to the faithful old maid-servant who attended him in his decrepitude — " I'm thinking that it canna be lang noo. I feel as if this verra nicht the end wudcam.". "Indeed, laird," she replied, "if it were the Lord's will, it wad be real convenient ; for the coo's gaen to calve, and I dinna weel see hoo I am to tend on ye baith." Not many of us, however, are as indifferent about the matter as this. What we are glad about at New Year it were hard to say, unless it is that we are pleasantly surprised to find ourselves alive when so many others have dropped by the way. Our New Year's jubilation is mainly a mellowed feeling— assisted by whisky— of regret- for «• auld lapg &yne, M With

the young of course it is different. Their kingdom is yet before them, and they are eager to b« getting on and to enter in. Well, let them be happy while they can ! , Gather your rosebuds while ye may, Old Time is still aflying; And that came flower that blooms to-day, To-morrow may be dying ! Somehow this note seems to have taken a pessimist tone, due probably to the fact that I am suffering a recovery from a Merry Christmas. Nevertheless, however perfunctorily, I wish all readers of these Notes a Happy New Year.

Sir Robert Stout, in conformity with custom, preached the Christmas sermon at the Lyceum again this year; What concern the Lyceum has with Christmas and Christmas sermons is not at first sight apparent, nor can I find that Sir Robert's sermon threw, or was intended to throw, any light on this question. Yet it wasn't altogether a bad sermon, as sermons go. It was not passionate, it was not abusive, it doomed nobody to perdition; and if it mildly misrepresented the Roman Catholics, that is a very pardonable fault. Few Christian bodies are more used to being misrepresented ; few could take less harm by it. Bishop Moran is already on the warpath, intent on having Sir Robert's scalp, and, in the opinion of all the faithful, will certainly get it, so that even the Lyceum sermon must, in the end, turn to the profit of Mother Church. As for Sir,: Robert, nothing could afford him a greater senseof satisfaction than being scalped by a bishop. Persecution in this or any other form is what the Lyceumite yearns for. Times are dull with him when persecution is slack ; nothing grieves him so much as the want of a grievance ; nothing hurts him more than being let alone. The unspoken complaint of Sir Robert throughout his whole discourse was that he had nothing* to complain of. In one small particular, and in one only, is the Lyceumite permitted to enjoy a martyrdom. He is isolated. Like the early Christians, he has " gone without the camp " said Sir Robert, quoting Scripture — " bearing the reproaches of the Church." The text is slightly varied, but .that of course is necessary to suit the situation. We must try in future to think of the pious Freethinker as taking up his cross and going without the camp bearing the reproaches of the church— whatever reproaches he can get. This is a mild and harmless role indeed, and I hope he will stick to it. He was not ever thus, teste Charles Bright or Gerald Massey, or even Sir Robert Stout himself in his salad days.

The resignation of Lord Randolph Churchill is one of those surprises in which politics abound. The ostensible cause is the refusal of the young statesman to squeeze more money from the long-suffering British taxpayer for ironclads and improved small bores, but the underlying cause may be assumed to be either Lord Randolph's liver or Lord Salisbury's spleen. This split suddenly demonstrates to the British public that the marquis is still Premier, and that the Government is Tory, not ultra-Radical Of late there has been plentiful ground for misconception on both these points, and the action of the Ministry in driving Lord Churchill from their tents will correct this impression. Unfortunately it also converts an apparently stable Government into* rickety machine, liable to be upset at any moment by a fortuitous combination •of the various Liberal sections. Toryism pure and simple is bo far effete now that it cannot stand unless bolstered up by that peculiar political hybrid theTory-demoorat, and Lord Churchill's defection, while it may soothe the amour propve of the noble marquis, dangerously imperils the Government of which he is the head. It 'is impossible that the staid and elderly Conservative leaders •— the remnant of the Beaconsneld following — can have failed to resent the manner in. which the boy Randolph has been shouldering them aside of late. He haa elbowed his way past Sir Stafford Northcote, Sir Michael Hicks-Beach, Mr Cross, Mr Gathorne Hardy and all the other great * Conservative guns of the Commons,' and has been latterly spoken of as Premier of England de facto, and credited* with leading by the nose the . most noble marquis himself. It was Lord Churchill who sketched a Conservative programme that Caused even the Radicals to catch their breath and feel that the plough had been taken from their hands, and it is chiefly upon Lord Churchill "that the eyes of England have T>een~" turned of late. Decidedly a split in the Cabinet may be explained, without reference to either local government or the army estimates.

Amidst all the rumors of wars which fill tha - air just now, it is a little singular to find afiT English statesman objecting to proposed expenditure upon the army and navy as "not necessitated by the aspect of foreign affairs." So much the better if it is so, of course, bat foreign affairs have occasionally - worn a more placid aspect than they do at present— at least to people at a distance.' Germany, the great military power of. which, all other European powers may naturally be supposed to feel a little shy, seems to be surrounded by well wishers. She^has long feared lest Russia might join a hostile combination, and has been keeping her Northern neighbour sweet by allowing tier as much latitude as she likes in the Balkans. France is literally panting to wipe out the dreadful humiliation of 1871, and now we learn that Austria is also bitterly incensed against Germany. So it happens that the country with the strongest military organisation, a country in fact, little better ■ than an armed camp, has at the present juncture perhaps more cause for uneasiness than her weakest neighbours. No one is thinking of attacking Switzerland or Belgium. The circumstance arouses melancholy reflections as to the condi« tion of things which leads to the spending of millions upon useless armaments. Our own costly iroaclads lead" a butterfly esfctekcfc-rjj

euch stupendous structures can be likened to butterflys — and then die, or become obsolete, which is th« same thing. The death-dealing torpedo, which is also very costly, does not deal death with anything like the freedom and certainty we have a right to look for. In fact, an improved Whitehead torpedo has just been given a fair chance by the Home authorities— a thing a torpedo very rarely gets — and has acquitted itself in the most disappointing fashion. It was propelled against the Resistance, an ironclad used for such experiments, and exploded. Strange to say, the Resistance amply justified her name. She experienced no inconvenience, but appeared indeed tather to like it. A few of her plates parted in a faint smile, but she remained afloat as though nothing had happened. The torpedo, however, was nowhere. This sort of thing cannot be encouraging to the Admiralty. It is satisfactory, of course, to know that out torpedoes will not blow up our own ironclads, but it is the reverse of isatisfactory to think they will not blow up those of our friend the enemy.

: The habitability of the British Isles depends, as is well known, partly upon the maintenance of the British Constitution and the Protestant Succession, partly upon a current of tepid water supplied from the Gulf of Mexico. Neither of these conditions can be deemed unquestionably secure. One hardly sees how the British Constitution can survive the approaching triumph ot Home Rule, 'or how the Protestant Succession is to stand the strain put upon it by the Prince of Wales' persistent Sabbath-breaking, The Gulf Stream, as an original institution of Providence, might be thought beyond the reach of human meddling, but it is not. An American has proposed to block up the Straits of Belleisle, with the view of shunting the polar current over to the British shores, aud at the same time capturing and confiscating the Gulf Stream for the benefit of the Atlantic seaboard. The same peril threatens Britain through another agency, that of De Lesseps and his Panama Canal. The idea of ruining Britain by diverting the Gulf Stream into the Pacific was first conceived by a Frenchman at the time of the old Napoleonic wars, and an Australian paper points out that the rationale of the thing was expounded in an Exeter Hall lecture, by the Rev. Wm. Arfcot, of of Edinburgh, in 1860. Here is an extract :—

"Our hot water reaches us by a complicated process, but one that is constant and sure. On the map of America look at the great basin which lies between the northern and southern portions of the continent — the Gulf of Mexico. It is the most circular of seas, and why has nature deviated from her usual rule of irregularity to form an almost perfect circle there ? Because these, our islands, lying in a northern latitude, needed hot water, and a pot must be provided for holding it. The Gulf of Mexico is the great tea-kettle of Great Britain. Poor Mexico seems to have the singular faculty of keeping both herself and her neighbours in hot water. The rotundity of that vast cup secures that the stream of water which flows into it from the. coast of Africa, and is heated during its passage under the equator, shall be thrown out on its north-eastern brim in such a direction, and with such a velocity, that it bathes the coasts of Great Britain and Ireland all the year" round with a gently flowing current of moderately warm water. Some of our neighbours fret against our supremacy at sea. To deprive as of it they build big ships, but two can play at that game, and they will probably not succeed. I shall give them a hint. If they could pierce the Isthmus of Panama, and send the contents of our tea-kettle straight through into the P.acific, farewell to Britain's commercial wealth and naval power. The Mersey and the Thames would be frozen eight months' in the year." This cutting off of Britain's hot water supply would of course be an evil, but, from the colonial point of view, not an unmixed evil. The British people,' from the Royal Family downwards, would simply have to emigrate. Perhaps the Irish Home Rulers would prefer to remain in their ice-bound Republic, and annex the' neighbouring island of England and Scotland, but everybody else would infallibly clear out for more genial climes. Fancy the tide of wealth that would flow into the colonies ! We who are here already would at once be elevated to the rank of " old identities," and would all become millionaires together. The colonial patriot will await with interest the completion of the Panama Canal.

The writer of the subjoined remonstrance is unduly hot about a small matter : —

Deah Civis, — How is it that you have taken no notice of the Dowies, husband and wife, who are profeHsing to heal the sick by faith— that IB by miracle— every day at the Garrison Hall? Charlatanism so rank as this is surely fair game for Passing Notes. I profess myself to be, in my way and according to my lights, a believer in Christianity, but when I see the credulity of ignorance in oar own days I ana driven to doubt the miracles recorded in the New Testament. Fools were just as credulous in those days I suppose — perhaps more so. The Dowies say that they belong to "no denomination." I thought that pretension was peculiar to the Church of Bishop Moran.— Yours, &c., B. N. The Dowies may be, as my correspondent says, " fair game" for Passing Notes, but they are too" small game. I have dealt with this sort of thing before, and, as the result, have learned to ask myself cvi bono ? The people who, in former years, read my criticisms on Milner Stephen's red flannel and magnetised water, and on Hug's clairvoyant diagnosis of internal diseases, were in no danger of believing in either Hug or Stephen; the people who did believe were hardly likely to read my Notes. To the latter rule there was, I think, one exception — that of an intelligent citizen, whom I do not name because he might take it ill, who promised to work a miracle for my own private and personal confutation — namely, to read a written paper enclosed in a sealed envelope, in return for the performance of which feat I was to pay smart money to the tune, I fancy, of £5. He promised to do this when he should be quite ready, and asked for time pitch, of njag-

netic potency. Needless to say, I have never heard from him since. The whoWexplanation of "faith healing" lies enclosed in thefadt that certain nervous disorders are sensitive to influence* that act on the nerves, a. fact of which all medical men are perfectly well aware. I notice that Mr Dowie is reported as having partially straightened, by faith, a woman's crooked leg. He Regretted that it was "not now so straight as he could desire, there being a "twist in the bone" which, it seems, faith was powerless to correct. As if one miracle could be harder than another ! Why do not the Dowies go to the hospital and silence all doubters by the faith-healing of a broken limb ? , <*■ 1 'Cms.