NOTES FROM THE SEAT OF GOVERNMENT.

Otago Witness, Issue 1805, 25 June 1886, Page 1 (Supplement)

NOTES FROM THE SEAT OF GOVERNMENT.

Wellington, Jane 11. " Can you cell me who that tall, olive-com-plexioued man, of rather distingue appearance, is i " asked the oceuuant ol the next seat to my own in the Laches' Gallery the other evening. I" Where is the gentleman seated of whom you speak?" 1 queried in the softest of whis|ers, for the ordinaiy speaking voice is interdicted in the gaileues, and that bright, handsome, eklerlj la'ly. who attends the House with Mu:h woudrou? legulanty spite of wind oc •-eathei, always trowus down anything that would have a tendency to disturb the speakers below. So 1 glanced over the House m search ol the individual inquired after, but failed to di-icover the gentleman of distinguished appearance. " Look over there, at the other end ot the chamber," said the eager-voiced little lady at my elbow. " Sec ! he has just placed some, papers upon the table, and has passed the Speaker's chair, and is now bending over and talking to Sir Julius Vogel " " Yes. Now I see who you mean. That getitltima.li is Mr Brurlsliaigli-Bradshiiw, the mi niber for Dunedin Central," 1 replied " Oh ! indeed. Then that is the man whose favourite fad is lactories, is it not?" questioned the curious uiie. " His great :iini has beer., s>o far as I know, the benefit ot factory hands, and he has succeeded in accomplishing noble work in that direction," I answered. " WJiy, what has he done for the people ot whom you speak ? " " A great deal. His efforts were unceasing until he had secured for them a diminution of the hours of labour, for which object he got rhe Eight Hours Act passed through the House, and that was most certainly a great boon to the overworked factory people, who were not slow to recognise and suitably acknowledge his labours in their behalt." "All that sounds highly commendable, but it seems to me that all these men have each a pet notion of their own which they lose no opportunity of pushing forward — whether it is tor the public good or not seems to be a matter of quite minor importance." Our whispered colloquy was here interrupted by the cry of " Time ! " and the House adjourned for supper.

Considerable amusement has been caused by what has come ho be known as "The Tale of the Battleaxe." It appears that a short, time since the renowned chief, Wahanui, presented the Native Minister with a " taiaha," which was deposited in the General Assembly Library, enclosed in a handsome case, with the following inscription, in letters ot gold, setting forth its supposed history : — " The name of this ' taiaha ' is * mahutu,' and it is celebrated as the emblem of the aukati, and signified that the chief holding it had authority to kill any JSuropean crossing the Worbidden boundary. It was presented to the tfovernment by Wahanui in token of the establishment of peace, and has been deposited in tne General Assembly Library by the Hon. John Uallance, the Native Minister."

Well, Sir George Grey, who is an authority on Maori matters, read the inscription, and thereupon declared in the House that the alleged history of the " taiaha " was altogether a fiction, and proved most conclusively — at least he and Mr Locke did so between them— that the wicked old warrior had actwally had the assurance and audacity to hoax the Native Minister, who was exceeding wroth about it, especially as everybody joked unmercifully on the subject of "Mr Ballance's battleaxe." Sir George Grey strongly objected to the " taiaha " remaining in the Library, where eventually, he declared, it might acquire something of the sanctity clinging about a genuine historical relic, and by the aid of the legend inscribed upon the case would probably grossly mislead posterity. The aukati upon which so much stress was laid was really abolished about fifteen years ago, Mr Locke being the very man who broke through it, of which fact ample documentary proof was produced in the House, for the whole affair had been at-the time carefully chronicled in the Blue Books of the country. Oh, wicked Wahanui ! to hoax the Minister in such a shameless way ! (" Mahutu" is an old Maori term for broomstick.)

, We are suffering from a severe attack of ennui — and little wonder, for there is a want of life and animation about things in general this session for which it is difficult to account. There is not a particle of enthusiasm displayed upon any subject ; everything is flat and uninteresting. But of coarse this state of dead level wiS not continue ; we shall wake up presently and warm to the work. The ladies, perhaps, fare the best in this monotonous season, for when all other sources of amusement fail they can always fall back upon the interesting topic of dress, and severely criticise their dearest friends. Unfortunately in this pastime I rank amongst the incompetents, and resemble in this particular a certain muchesteemed friend of mme — a man of wide attainments, who has travelled over many lands, and ■who can give most minute and accurate accounts of the various places and things he has seen — a man who can travel over a piece of country, and will afterwards describe almost every tree and •shrub that he has passed upon the way, and yet he finds it simply impossible to describe a lauy'i <Lresi. Sometimes, when this gentleman goes ito a ball or a party, if his wife is unable to accompany him she will ask him upon his return what cectain of her lady friends wor-e upon the (Occasion, when he generally gives Borne absurd

descriptions, making most luilicroui mi-.takes When my friend went to th; la-n hall it Uuvernment House his wife w;i< slightly uuiisposed and could not go, so he (Ji'termuitjil to make a vigorous effort to remember wh-u colour and texture was worn b\ <• 'rfcan> ot h\f wife's fashionable friends, in order that li« mujht furnish ;i clear and coi rect report when he returned homo from the t'litorraiiuneiit. And with this object in view he carefully scrutinised the particular gowns he wished to geb firmly fixed in his memory, anil then commenced mentally chu repetition of a formula somewhat like the lollowing .—". — " Yellow skirt, greeii top, yellow skirt, green top, ice. , red skirt, blue top, red skirt, blue, top, &c. , pink skiit, brown top, pink skirt, brown top," &c. Ac. — until he thought they were fairly impressed on his mind Vaiii • '.elusion ! When Jie reached home, ami found himself under tin- keen lire of his wife's cross-ijausbions he cli.ioo'.ereil, to his horror and dismay, thar, ha h:ul got thu top- ,m>\ bottom-, of the gouns — to say nothing of the combination of coluuu- — mextrica'dy mixed up into such ,i ho^eic-i -.tate ot conglomeration as would ot-r;»iiiiv \:a\e shocked the sensitive fi'i'liiijjh of l;c luiiics whose elegant attiie he had vainly o-^yeil to describe

" Alfred, my dear, yon are a perfect uss ! — in tact, you are simply idiotic where Indies' gown.s an; concerned , aud I'm sure whether I am clothed in satin or sackcloth is a matter of small importance to you, for you really cannot distinguish the one from the othei " "No doubt you are right,'" he saiil resignedly, and inwardly vowed never to attempt the hopeless task again.

[Since writing the above considerable warmth has been infused into proceedings in the House by the No-confidence motion, the result of which is already known.]

My politics— if 1 have an y— are of the strictly neutral kind, which leaves me at all times the advantage ot seeing and enjoying the humorous aspect of things on either side of the House, and there it. a great deal to amuse as well as to instruct in the House ot Representatives ; for, just as there always has been, aud I doubt not eviT will be, one or more prominent statesmen oi members of Parliament, so also in every Parliament is there one who serves as a butt for idle shafts ol wit. and so supplies abundant atniusement for the onlookers. And why should we. not be amused ? It will be remembered that during the early part ot this session members in the elevated region of the Legislative Council were actively engaged in settling the vexed question as to whether hot dinners o£ the " boa constrictor" type should or should not be henceforth obtainable at Bellamy's. This weighty measure settled — fortunately there was no Henry Labouchere about — the hon. Legislative Councillors have again settled down at ease. It would certainly have to be a remarkably vivid imagination that would be capable of transforming these comfort-loving and inoffensive old gentlemen of the Legislative Council into the body of haughty aristocrats that some people take them to be. It requires a vast amount of energy to rouse them into action, and then, after a brief flash, they quickly subside, into a state of comfortable quiescence again. They often call to my mind a description I well remember reading — I think it was in a history of Frederick the Great — of the strenuous efforts made to rouse the Dutch into a state ot martial enthusiasm ; with what perseverance the diplomatists pulled and tugged at the : stolid Hollanders in their endeavour to get them on their teet, and how, when their efforts seemed to be all but successful, the solid weight asserted itselt, and the ponderous creatures fell back into their seats again. Yet I confess that amongst the gentlemen who form the Legislative Council of New Zealand there are still a few " grand seigneurs " whom one cannot help admiring — men courteous in manner, ready in speech, and able in debate, who adorn their position.

What a general " gnofl time " (as our transatlantic frie/iuls would sny) the leading colonists who went Home to see the Indian and Colonial Exhibition are having in the Mother Country. All sorts of festivities are being organised by hospitably-inclined leaders in the aristocratic and fashionable world of London for their special delectation. Excursions into various country districts, dinners, dances, and garden parties — no less than 1300 visitors from the Colonies attended the garden party given by the Princess Louise at Kensington Palace on the 6th inst. Now. whether our friends will return to us unspoiled from all this round of dissipation remains yet to be seen. We will, at all events, hope to find them not unduly puffed up with a sense of their own individual importance as the result of being made so much of. By the way, there is in London at the present time — so I have been informed — a certain lady of the " strong-minded female" class (thank goodness ! the class is limited in number). Madame de Valsayre— the lady to whom 1 refer— is a person of great physical courage. Some time since she fought a duel with a Miss Shelby, the latter lady having called her an idiot Since then she has distinguished herself by being amongst the first of those who offered themselves to be inoculated by the famous Frenchman, M. Pasteur. Not satisfied with these achievements, the eccentric lady is now in communication with a clever Swedish physician who has discovered the art of freezing people into a state of insensibility, aud after the lapse of a year or so restores them to a condition of sound health and strength. It is said that if Dr Grusdbach — the gentleman referred to — declines to freeze Madame de Val«ayre, she has decider! lo go and assist M. de Brazza in introducing civilisation among the Congo blacks, and will be accompanied in the expedition by her late adversary, Miss Shelby It is, I should think, a question whether, if the poor blacks only knew the. sad fato which in all probability awaits them, they would not prefer sending a deputation to Dr Grusdbach entreating him to hasten the freezing of this fearfully enthusiastic devotee of science before she could have time to put her project into execution.