CURRAN'S WIT

Otago Witness, Issue 1797, 30 April 1886, Page 26

CURRAN'S WIT

Whilst Curran was yet little more than a child, a ludicrous incident occurred, which, as he himself said, first showed his aptitude for oratory. A puppet show arrived at his village (Newmarket, Co. Cork), and the whole bin-rounding country was delighted at the powers of Mr Punch, the eloquence of hi.-* man, and the many attractions of the novel performance. At last, however, in the height of its popularity the man fell ill, and ruin stared the proprietor in the face. Little Curran, then barely in his teens, had followed the exhibitor from place to place, knew the performance by heart, and offered himself to the proprietor as a candidate for the vacant post. The offer was accepted, and Mr Punch was more sought after than ever, and his man was the object of universal admiration. At length before one of his most crowded audiences he began to expatiate upon the politicof the village. He described the fair, told all the secrets, caricatured the audience, and, after disclosing every amour and detailing every scandal, turned with infinite ridicule upon the priests of the parish. But now came a total change. The lads and lasses who had laughed at each other's picture, but had pretended not to recognise their own, were scandalised that the sanctity of the Church should be profaned, and one and all voted down Mr Punch as having forfeited their respect and support. The proprietor honourably concealed the name of the substitute, but Curran used to say that in the heyday of his popularity he never produced such an effect upon any audience as he did in the character of the showman.

Lundy Foot, the celebrated tobacconist, applied to Curran for a motto when he first established Mh carriage. " Give mo one, my dear Curran," said he, "of a serious cast, because I am afraid the people will laugh at a tobacconist setting up a carriage : and for the scholarship's sake let it be Latin."' " 1 have just hit on it," said Cumm ; "it is only two words, and it will at once explain your profession, your elevation, and your contempt for their ridicule, and it has the advantage of being in two languages, Latin or English, just as the reader wishes. Put Quid rides on your carriage." Lord Clare was a determined enemy of Curran whilst he was at the bar. The Lord Chancellor ruined his practice at the Chancery Court, and his clients were always sufferers. Indeed, Curran stated that the lo.sses in his professional income from the animosity of Lord Clare amounted to no less than thirty thousand pounds. The incidents in court in consequence of this disagreement were sometimes ludicrous. On one occasion when it was known that the advocate was about to make an elaborate argument in Chancery, Lord Clare brought a Newfoundland dog upon the bench with him, and paid much more attention to the dog than to ihe barrister, and the fact was commented on by the profession. At a material point in the argument the Chancellor lost all decency, and turned quite aside to fondlu the clog. Curran stopped at once. "Go on, go on," said Lord Clare. " Oh, 1 beg a thousand pardons, my lord !" was the ready reply. " I really took it for granted your lordships were engaged in consultation."

The friendship that existed between Curran and a sreurlpman named Egan was interrupted by a qtiairel so bitter that a duel was the ounseyuenou. i jkj.} nu-t on the Fifteen Acres, and on the ground JDgan complained that fhe disparity in size gave his adversary an unfair advantage. " I might as well shoot at a midge as at him," said Egan, " and he may hit me as easily as a turf stack." " I tell you what, Mr Egari," said Curran, pistol in hand ; '" I wish to take no advantage of you whatsoever. Let my size be'chalkcd out upon your side, and every shot which goes outside of that mark may count for nothing" The contest after that was not a deadly one, and though they fired, neither was hit, and a reciliation followed. After Curran's elevation to the bench as Master of the Rolls, a gloom seems to have fallen upon his spirits. He disliked his position, for which he felt himself unqualified. As he said, "When the party witli which I had acted so fairly had after longproscription come at last to their natural place, I did not expect to have been stucli hiio a windoiv, a spectator of the procession." He was bitterly opposed to the Union, though after it ' had taken place lie would not take part in an agitation for its repeal. He was one flay, after the final debate, setting hib watch at the post office, then opposite the Parliament House, when a noble member who voted in the majority said to him, with ill-timed jocularity, "Curran, what do they mean to do with that useless building? For my part I am sure I hate even the sight of it/ "I don't wonder nt it, my lord," was the reply, "1 never yet hoard of a murderer that was not afraid of a ghost." He held the post of Master of 1 lie Rolls for about six years, and after his retirement pas-sod n good' deal of his time in England. When Lord Byron published his sentimental "Farewell" after his separation from his wife, the matter was a subject of much afterdinner comment. Cnrran's opinion was once

appealed to. " I protest," said he, "I do not understand this kind of whimpering. Here is a man who first weeps over his wife, and then ivijtcs his eyes with the public." Walking with a friend one day, he met an Irish gentleman who had preserved his native bro°'ue in a manner creditable to his patriotism°after many years' sojourn in England. He had acquired a singular habit of lolling out his tongue as he walked along. "What docs he mean by it?" said the friend. " Why, clearly," said Outran, "the man is trying to catch the English accent." When informed that a dirty and stingy barrister of his acquaintance went on a journey with a shirt and a guinea, the comment was, " He will not change either till lie comes back." . Sir Thomas Tluirton, who was a rair speaker, on one occasion discussing the subject of eloquence with Cumin, assumed an equality which Curran was not willing to concede. He happened to mention a peculiarity of Curran's, that he was not able to speak without requiring something to moisten his lips, stating that lie had the advantage of Curran in that respect. "I spoke," said he, "the other night in the House of Commons for five hours, on the Nabob of Oude, and never felt in the least thirsty." " Very remarkable,"' replied Curran, " for everyone agrees that that was the driest speech of the season."— Temple Bar.