Page 18 Advertisements Column 1

Otago Witness, Issue 1688, 29 March 1884, Page 18

Despite leap year license and the consequently lively state of the matrimonial market, there still seems one swain unable to get his domestic tandem started. Tho following appeal — issued, no doubt, as a dernier ressort — appeara in the columns of a country paper :—: — IMMEDIATE. % WANTED, A PARTNER FOR LIFE. MR JOHN TH MIS PASKELL, Farmer, of this district, residing near Adim's Fat, is in want of a Partner for life, but hai hitherto Inilcd in getfcit g one. He is a little backward in hearing, but i* a pood and likely younsr man. and wishes for a beloved •-weotheart to be his earliest choice. A bonnie Scotch lii'sie preferred. The first idea conveyed by this is that the advertiser belongs to -that numerous class properly termed " self -appreciative," The passage " A good ' and likely young*^ man " amply demonstrates this. The second idea is that Mr J. T. P.'s opinion in this respect is not universally shared by others— vide that very damaging admission, " but has hitherto failed'in getting ono." Tbe flimsy excuse of deafness subsequently advanced to account for this, is altogether too " thin." * Experience has taught most of us that for the matrimonial state deafness iB an infirmity rather to be cultivated than otherwise, but J. T. P.'s object in advertising this secret source of strength is hard to fathom. Does he intend us to believe that his failure in hitherto obtaining a partner has been due, to his inability to hear the too softly whispered "yea?" I presume it must be so, and can only hope that the bonnie Scotch lassie who answers the appeal will have an eye to the good and likely young man's infirmity, and let there be no misunderstanding on this occasion. In response to his timid suit I would suggest an answer abrupt, convincing, and to the point. If the lady were, for example, to grasp Mr J. T. P. 'a fingers firmly in one hand, and slap him smartly between the shoulder blades with tho other, he would be awakened to the sense that something was coming. This action might be followed up by Bomo unequivocal but delicate form of assent, such aa " Right you are, my boy, I'm your (I scarcely like to write this, but it must come)— your Moses !" The. matter would thus be amicably settled beyond any