LADIES' COLUMN.

Otago Witness, Issue 1653, 28 July 1883, Page 27

LADIES' COLUMN.

The world was sad — the (mrden was a wild ,■ And man, th* Eermit sighed — till woman tmiltd. — Cahpbhll.

Effeminate Men and Masculine Women.

One often hears it said of an attractive young woman, " She has nothing to do but take her choice," or words to that effect, meaning that she can have any man of her acquaintance for a husband if she wishes to marry. But is this true? Evidently not under existing social codes. She may, indeed, refuse one after another of her admirers until she has gone through nine-tenths of the entire list of available men, but he whom she wants may not choose to offer himself. He may be too bashful, or he may be disheartened by the ill-suc-cess of his fellows, or, for that matter, he may be indifferent. This, however, does not alter the case as regards the lady. She has nothing to do with making the selection except in a negative way. She may refuse what she does not want, but she can only accept what is offered. She may see the man whom her heart tells her she ought to marry, standing afar off, hardly daring to worship silently and at a distance; yet she dare not sacrifice hor maidenly reserve by going frankly to him and telling him that she loves him. Of course there are very strong reasons why she should not make such a venture with masculine human nature in its present unregen«rate condition ; but let it not be said that fahe may take her choice, when, in fact, she is not at liberty to do anything of the kind. A woman' who haß a dozen offers in the course of her life, may felicitate herself on having received an unusually large number, but it is a limited number. Her brother, on the contrary, liteterally haa the feminine world to choose from —or to try to choose from. He may be refused, but at least he may ask the woman of his choice if she will have him. Perhaps this same brother is a' worthless brute — he may even be a dude — yet lie can, without violating the laws of social propriety, ask the lovejiest of her sex to become his wife. Sometimes, alas ! she consents— such is the mysterious nature of womankind — and no doubt she might make mistakes even if she were free to make proposals herself. That the question has arisen as to the wisdom of such a practically iron rule as now obtains, is evident from the traditional, if wholly visionary, prerogatives of "leap year," and from the occasional introduc tion by popular writers of a feminine "proposal" on the part of some heroine in modern fiction. It is not at all likely that any sweeping revolution will take place in this regard, and indeed there are few judicious minds which would advise it ; yet it may be that the Anglo-, Saxon way is not beyond peradventure the best way. Marriages are effected in many lands, and among highly civilised people, by the mediation of third parties. Shall we say that they are altogether wrong because their way is not our way ? There is a comical, yet not entirely improbable turn of events that is suggested by the appearaace recently upon the social stage of the class of young men whose demeanour is marked by a studied elegance, and, if we may say so, by a lady-like, deport ment, which is certainly an outgrowth of modern social tendencies, and may be the shadow of coming events. _ The generations that havegone favoured a retiring disposition in wellbred women, which has at the present time been largely modified by a thousand influences. The American girl of to-day has far more to do witli the management of' social affairs than her mother and her grandmother. There has unquestionably grown up of late years a class of daring, high-Bpirited, self-reliant girls, with audacity enough for any possible achievement. Can it be —the suggestion is made with bated breath — that nature will preserve the social equilibrium by evolving a class of young men whose sweet, retiring sbyness of manner shall prove attractive to the bolder spirits of the opposite sex ? Nature is very apt to afford compensations. Why may she not preserve the balance in this, as in other really less important relations, replacing the partly eliminated element of traditional gentleness in woman by

a masculine substitute equally charming in its way. To the dashing girl graduates of 1944, or thereabout, the dude of the period may prove irresistibly fascinating. Great reforms move slowly, and it is more than probable that most of those who are now living will, "rest'neath the daisies " before woman's right of choice in matter of husbands becomes an actual fact instead of a glittering generality. — American paper.

Gossipy Paragraphs.

—The jewellery presented to the Duchess of Genoa on her recent, marriage is valued at 59,200d01.

—The last Parisian eccentricities of fashion comprise Anne Boleyn caps, fastened to tho hair behind by two gold knitting needles, parasols embroidered inside and large enough to shelter two lovers comfortably, and bonnets of thatched roofs and beehive crowns.

In London, says a Bociety circle, the " best " people are the worst dancers, further still, good dancing is actually condemned as " bad form." The American practice of reversing in the waltz was crushed because " Oh, the best people don't reverse." Such are the frivolities of society in London.

— The course of true love, traced by letters in a breach of promise suit in New York, ran in this manner : " My darling Benny," " My own darling Benny," My own dearest darling," " My own darling love," " My darling Ben," " Friend Ben," and all was over.

— A married woman, who had escaped from a burning hotel by jumping out of the window, said she didn't blame the proprietors, because there was in every bedroom a rope provided tor the safety of the guests. " Then why didn't you avail yourself of it," said the inquisitive newspaper reporter. " Because I couldn't," she answered sharply, as if the question was a foolish one. "My husband wai using it to try and save his dog." — The jersey tunic, a sort of polonaise in jersey cloth, with bunched-up back, is a recent Parisian novelty. Beaded jerseys are in many styles, the simplest being merely wrought along the edges, down the front, and on collar and sleeves ; while the handsomest are altogether of beads woven in close meshes, on strong sewing silk — a glittering garment not unljke a coat of mail. As already said, the favourite silks of the season are in ottoman fancies, cords, larger or less, as may be desired. There is gros de Lyons, heavier than gros grain and not so heavy as the ottoman rep ; gros d'Ecosse, closely resembling Irish poplin, gros de Naples, and so on ad infinitum. The new brocades have ottoman grounds with detached figures of flowers, fruit, shell or geometrical designs. A new fancy is the planet Saturn with its belt, and another novel design takes one of the forms which scientists ascribe to snow crystals, tho figures being greatly magnified of course. Stripes are to hold their own for a while longer, both wide and narrow, in hairline summer silk and wide moire and ottoman stripes. The newest summer silks are Indias, exactly like those used for handkerchiefs, and washing excellently well. They come in all shades and all colours, light and dark, with plain material for the underskirt and figured for the overdress. Charming costumes will be made of these for watering-placo wear — costumes which recall the Watteau and pompadour dresses of French paintings. —A bride who had ideas of her own ma^e quite a sensation at her wedding, which was solemnised not long ago. Her dress was com posed of a kind of a delicate creamy-peach satin, and her veil of misty tulle of the same shade was caught by a wreath of starry Irish ' daisies, whose double petals were the faintest blush pink. Her bouquet, instead of being of the customary stephanotis or Marechal Niel j roses, was composed of a great bunch of dewy Bon Silenes, tied by a broad pink satin ribbon. The effect was decidedly pleasing, the pink flowers showing in beauty against her masses of-dark hair. Another society lady, who is to be married this spring, is to wear a forget-me-not dress, which seems very appropriate, as she goes to live in a distant countty. " Why is it not exactly the thing?" says she. "Is not blue true ?" Some lovely costumes could bo devised if coming brides would agree ■ to wear other robes than the endless white satin, tulle veil, and orange blossoms. It seems to us that the natural vanity of a woman would teach her better. Why should a moderately good-looking bride, for all brides are not divinely fair, make herself positively plain on her wedding day by donning white, when a dress or flowers of some other hue would light up her face, and mayhap mak her look a beauty I on her wedding day, if never before or after ?