Fun and Fancy.

Otago Witness, Issue 1581, 11 March 1882, Page 24

Fun and Fancy.

Just after election a gentleman approached a defeated candidate with ' How do you feel ?* 1 Well, pretty much as Lazarus felt.' ' Lazarus ? What do you mean?' 'Why, Luzarus waa licked by doga, and so was I.' . Dae win acknowledged himself matched wbjpn his little niece asked him seriously what a cat has that no other animal has ? He gave it up after mature deliberation, and then the Bly Pubs answered, 'Kittens.' One Sunday evening a well-known revivalist preached from the text : ' SatJ, Saul, why persecutest thou me P ' In the audience there waa an engineer named Saul, who was accompanied by his wife and little girl. The xe».&nd gpntleman repeated his text several tflxis: • Saul, Saul, why persecutest thon me?' An last the daughter of Saul, thinking that the text had a personal application, looked up£L in the face of her father and said; 'Don'6^l mind him, father ; he's been drinking ! ' Rapid transit : It happened on a railroad train whfoh was going— well, it wasn't exactly a light Ding express. The engineer whistled 'down brake«. 'What's the trouble, cm. doctor?' exejiedly aßked a passenger. 'o<>w on the track,' coolly responded the conductor. The man was satipfied. Shortly afterwards 'down brakes' was again wbisthd. 'What's the matter now ? ' cried the same pass* nger. 'Cow on the track,' was the r<?ply. 'Great heav.ns,' cried the man, ' haven't we caught up with that cow yet ? ' ' Definition of a kiss.— Very recently an English paper offered a priz for the beat definition of a kiss. Among the replies were the following :— Love's proof impression taken both before And after letters. Oddly, tod, the more The print's repeated the impression's stronger, And the true artist's beat effeota last longer.

She asks for a kiss, and give id I can j •Tit thi hear of a womfto-'tii the loul ol » bis,