Passing Notes.

Otago Witness, Issue 1581, 11 March 1882, Page 17

Passing Notes.

Perhaps, the most inexpensive way to attain an instantaneous and world-wide notoriety is to shoot' at l the Queen. You might become almost as famous by shooting at a foreign potentate, 1 but then you would probably not live' to enjoy your celebrity. ' If you merely point a pistol at the English' Queen, IReuter telegraphs your name to the ends of the earth, and you are booked for a certain place in the next Dictionary of Dates. In addition, you will be provided with board, lodging, attendance, healthful occupation, and medical com forts at the public expense • for life. You will be supplied with the best spiritual advice with' out being pestered for Church subscriptions'; you can snap your' fingers at the tax gathereryou get rid finally of your poor relations. LookJ ing at the inducements, and remembering how fierce in some men is the craving to be marked out from the million-headed mob of obscuritie who die in their sins or their virtues and are forgotten, one wonders why this short and easy road to fame and a competence is not oftener adopted. The passion for notoriety, the conviction —

Better be d d than mentioned not at all, — has prompted many a suicide, and is responsible for many a crime, from that o Herostratos, who burned the temple of Diana that he " might live in history," down to that of Guiteau, who killed President Garfield, and that of M'Lean, who last week shot at the Queen. The one effective check to crimes of thi3 nature is to consign the psrpetrators to oblivion. But, like Professor Ball's proposed anchor for the moon, it is a check which cannot be applied. The lonians decreed that any person who mentioned the name of Herns tratos should be put to death. But, says one authority, that very decree gave it immortality. seems a doubt, indeed whether the incendiary's name was " Herostra tos " or " Eratostratos," and, to the extent of this doubt, the arson has been avenged. But probably the arsoneer doesn't mind that now. Substantially he got what he wanted, and, as Pope unjustly says of Cromwell, has been duly "damned to everlasting fame." Similarly, shooters at the Queen seem destined to at least a temporary immortality. The papers are just now diligently digging up the names of pre? vious performers in this line — Oxford, the public house barman, who fired at Majesty twice ; Francis, the joiner, who did ditto on two successive days; Bean, who snapped a pistol at her loaded with paper and pipe-stems ; Hamilton, whose lethal weapon contained only powder, and O'Connor, who presented a pistol which contained nothing at all. Probably none of those reprobates wanted to kill &Q& Q Queon,

$hey merely wanted to be "damned to everlasting fame." The wish >to kill the Queen .could be conceived only by a lunatic. The nation reveres -and loves the Queen because it has found in her what was very much wanted in a person of her station— a pattern of goodness «,nd the domestic virtues. Queens, from the ■Queen of Sheba downwards, have seldom been strong in the domestic virtues. Even the Queen of Sheba, though evidently in all otberrespectsa most exemplary person, is said by Eastern tradition to have tripped in her relations with Solomon.

"Next to the reports of the Gillies lectures, the most grotesque bit of reading that I have lately come across, bearing upon the subject of religion, appears in the pages of the Victorian Government Gazette. It consists of a tabu, lated statement showing, " according to the census taken on the 2nd April last, the number of persons, males and.females,, of various religions." "Various," the religions of, Vjctona are in the strictest sense of the word.. As enunief ated by the' Gazette, there appears 1 to be 150 of them. Even this large supply of religions is inadequate to the wants of the population, i .'There are. 2147 persons) who return themselves as of **u6 denomination," presumably because'" they cannot 'find a rpli£idri'to thoir taste.' "To what a point, of fastidious nicety taste in such matters may be .educated, is shown by' the fact 'that' Victoria 1 'has ten varieties , of , P'rebyte'rianism V thp.t is, ,nine Presbyterian sects, 'and one category of ".other Presbyterians,' 1 eight in number, who cannot be classed in any of the nine. Similarly there are ten varieties of Methodists— all loving each other devotedly, no doubt. But it is the minor sects that' chiefly interest me. I, give the names and statistics of a few of them :— Puritans, 2 ; Church of God, 4; Church of the First Born, 8 ; Reformed Protestants, 3 ; i-andemanlans, 4 ; MorrsoDians,,3; Bible Truth, 7; Orthodox Church, 7 -Second Advent' of Christ. 7; New Light, 1 ; PujeyItes?2'; Wberhoodot NetfLHe,'! ; Church of Jloly BiscipleaT 2 ; T>ruW.' 1 ; Joß'ephites, <6 : Sankeyite, 1 ; Millerlte, l ; Mosaic! Dispensation, 2 {. Borwwlfcv 1 ; Bush Quakers, 2; Immaterially. 1; Follower of Bishop Golenso, 1; Worshipper of the Sun.l; Unas and the' Laws, 3; Pantheists, 3; Man of God, l; Saved Sinners, 3 ; Believer in parts of the Bible, 1 ; Neutral,. 21;2 1 ; Silent , Admirer; 1 ; Nondescript, I; AnythiuKarian, 1 } Antihumbugite, 1 ; &c, &c. One person sets down, his religion as "Free Trade " and thr6e others have the candour to acknowledge" 'that their'B is "£ s. 1 d." ,Th c only parallel to the ' curiosities in this list that I have met with ism, some 'extracts from the Indian icensuß. At Allahabad no fewer, than 974 persons i described theraselveß as flow blackguards/ a (Sailing which, as an English paper remarks, is only too common elsewhere than At#bad,-' ' Aiiothjjr/ category is. that' of the "profesßional paintera pf horses with BpotsjVwand another, « the /^hereditary , clerks , who pray to their inkhorna "—quite 'a« intelligent' a' forth of worship as ißome that appear to to be" practiced in Victoria.' " Y.

Two or three facts revealed by these curious statistics may -be commended to,, th,e< notice of our Otago Freethinkers; Though there are one hundred and fifty 'sorts of religion in Victoria, nearly, 1 ■nihe : tenths of'the'^^pulatiott'are c 6n r tamed in four great denominations, the Church of England,! the Roman Catholips, the Presbyterians", and the Methodists. There f are in round numbers 860,000 inhabitants, and these four denominations" include 1 " 745,000/ ' o f' them. One mi "every" three^p&rsona yoirmeet in Victoria belongs.* to the Church ,of England, one in every -four'. is- a Roman Catholic, one in about every six a Presbyterian, and one in eight a Methodist. Adding in Baptists, Congregationalists, and other orthodox people, the Christian religion totals wonderfully well. Unbelievers (Jews and Chinamen not counted) are in a minority of lin 34. ,So that , despite the march of intellect and the increase of light a good. deal of old-faahioned believing must atill go on in Victoria. I observe that the number of persons who describe themselves as ' 'Spiritists or Spiritualists" is only 853, of '•Tree thinkers " 1174. Says the ■ Southern Cross :— *' It is plain that the anti-Christian members of the community resemble the peas in a child's rattle : they make a noise altogether out of proportion to their size." Mr Stout would reply, perhaps, that the Apostles were few, and that they made a great noise. Very true. I admit cheerfully that in these two respects there is a resemblance between Freethinkers and the Apostles.

The servant-gal question is coming to the front again in an aggravated form. On all hands there, are eager inquiries, for "gals," especially from country townships, and these inquiries are difficult to satisfy. The fact is that the marriage market year by year withdraws a large number of young women from ervice, while at the same time in the middle and higher strata of society it increases the demand for "helps." Since immigration has been stopped, the supply is manifestly short of the demand. There'are about/footi'mar: riages a year in New Zealand, arid taking ,a thousand to represent tlie number of bridles annually drawn from ,the domestic , servant class, and five hundred to represent young married people who want a servant, here we have a new demand every year for 1500 hou&emaids, cooks, and general servants of all grades. Where are they to come from? I have before alluded to the unfortunate reluctance of colonial-bred young girls to take to domestic service, and their strong preference for other classes of employment, and when the supply from outside is stopped it is noways surprising that the market becomes bare. To say nothing of quality, the actual quantity of female labour is necessarily in short supply. Here is another matter for a paternal Government to take in hand. If we don't get an outside supply of domestics soon, there will be no holding those we have got. They can already pretty well dictate their own terms. I feel for the sufferings of unhappy mistresses compelled to part with helps at most inconvenient times, and quite unable to replace thorn. It is dangerous to remonstrate with your cook in regard to an overdone joint or a badly concocted curry.

A mistress must shut her eyes to dust on the mantle-pieces, or an unnecessary consumption of coals. The tables are being rapidly turned, and it will soon be the maids that will employ the mistresses, and not the mistresses the maids. And yet I suppose there is still a large surplus of female labour at Home. When one reads these accounts of decent young girls being decoyed over to Belgium in numbers for the vilest purposes, and of a Congress being about to sit at the Hague to put a stop)to the traffic, one cannot but wonder that these colonies are so ill supplied with domestics. Here a girl can be sure of good wages, a safe and comfortable home, her " Sunday out," and' in due time a decent " young man," if she only behaves with reasonable discretion. What do they want to go to Belgium for 1 All the Government has to do is to smooth their passages across the herring pond, and we'll receive them here with open arras and kindly hearts. New, Zealand alono can take a hundred a month all the year round. For all that, mothers ought not to neglect the home manufacture, which, after all, ought to be the best article.

Passing Notes may count, 'as I have reason to know, upon a goodly proportion of readers amongst the more amiable sex. By this class of my constituents the perusal of the following advertisement from the Auckland Weekly News will be found' very edifying : — I HEREBY withdraw any, expression I have mado at any time detrimental to the character of my wife, and declare that such expressions were made in a' fit of passion, and without any foundation whatever. ' (Signed) ALEXANDER M'INNES. Witness : Murdoch M'Lbod, Waipu, January 18th, 3882. I haven't the pleasure of an acquaintance with Mrs Alexander M'lnnes, but I can read her character in this advertisement, between the lines, so to speak. She ,is evidently a woman of resources,— of very great resources ; not less evidently is she' a woman of spirit. In quarrelling with her "husband she of course did merely what every intelligent wife feels that it is both her! privilege and her duty to do. How is feminine, ascendency to •be asserted or maintained, unless by a policy of judiciously; timed interruptions of matrimonial harmony? How is a woman to obtain the luxury of the redintegratio amom — o* being i coaxed and courted to " make it up again," unless she first contrives to make her husband fall out with her ? That Mr and Mrs M'lnnes quarrelled is only to' say that Mrs Mac .is a woman; that she quarrelled' so successfully as this advertisement indicates, proves .''hat she is a woman ,of italent. Not only did she nag and goad' her Alexander te a pitch of ungovernable rage, , a ' " fit. of ' passion,'* in which "he , said things ** detrimental , to her character " and thereby put himself entirely in the wrong. i Not only did she then subdue him to a condition of penitence and 'humble,desire to sue out 1 his p'ardbrt. !'! ' Other „w(s>eri h^ve done thisj'^ut Mr|s, ' being a w,omanof spirit and resource,, did more. She reduced the miserable creature' to such abject 'eutimJßsibfc . th&t He wrote ■ 6'ut, ',' probably at her dictation, ; the above advertisement,

called in,;,. no;,, doubt?,,, by hW ln command, his, friend , Murdoch M'Leodlto witness it, and despatched 'it forthwith to ■ the . Auckland Weekly 'News. ' By what' means _ the lady achieved this remarkable 't^utni)|x' l, don't presume, to say. . Rarey's method i of' horse-taming was for a time . concealed from the public. Similarly, Mrs M'lnnes' method is at present her sebret. Wives who wisVto learn it had better write direct to'Waipu. That it is a success, no one who peruses the advertisement will question. Mr M'lnnes has been thoroughly broken to harness, is now patient of the collar, obedient to the bit, and duly acquainted with the virtue of whipcord. To change the figure, Mrs Mac. is now exhibiting her, husband to the Aucklanders, as Samson was exhibited to fche worshippers of . Dagon — blind, enslaved his duty to make sport for the Philistines. But what if, in a moment of self-disgust, Samson should harden his heart, put forth his strength, and pull down the whole edifice of domestic felicity upon his own and his syren's head? History may repeat itself, but absit omen I With women of such spirit and resource to deal with, Mr M'lnnes had better accept the situation. One might give him the advice once offered to a greater Alexander :—

Lovely Thais sits beside thee, Take the good the gods provide thee !

This is a refined age ; but it is a question whether we may not over-refine. Our worthy ■R.M. is charged, I see, and I hope erroneously, with causing the removal from the shop win. dows of a respectable bookseller of certain works of art— little statuettes— because they ,ire not sufficiently clothed. We have all heard of the American lady who was "ko, , delicate 'as to require the legs of 'her 'piano to be full draped in unmentionables, and ,1 suppose those manyj forms of unadorned beauty which have > exercised the powers of the statuary in all ages are henceforth to be denied to the people of ' Dunedin. Is the " human form Divine " then so dangerous that henceforth it is not to be looked upon, even in marble or terra-cotta ? I perceive the assailed bookseller has placed in his window the appropriate motto honi snit gui 'iml y pensc, and without wishing any harm to the squeamish gentleman who is the author of the prohibition in question, I re-echo the time-honoured sentiment. We have not come to the time yet when art is to be restricted by the requirements of modern clothes, and if nude figures may very properly be sculptured, j L suppose they may lawfully be looked al. j Cms.

Boisterous Friend (bursting suddenly through he Shrubbery, and prodding Proprietor wiib lift t;mbrel]»). — ' Hul 10, Hackks, my boy ! notching lots o J PslmoD?' Aiigkr.— ' There ! nc-t-t t— -confoutid ycu ! I should h.V B&Uli'd thftt flab, fi you hada't conio hothu'fng f.bcui ! • Three people coDihifj to dinner without, notice, i a.a< J . only clicjjb m ti.e Lohbb ! You'd better go I and tell my wife what jpu'ye done II I—Punch,1 — Punch,