THE MAN WHO TALKED TO MUCH.
He slipped into an ice cream saloon very softly, and when the girl asked him what he wanted, he replied : " Corned- beef, fried^potatoes, pickles and mince pies." " This is not a restaurant ; this is an icecream parlour," she said, "Then why did you ask me what I wanted? Why don't you bring on icecream ?"
She went after it, and as she returned, he continued :
" You see, my dear girJ, you must infer— you must reason. It isn't likely that I would come into an ice-cream parlour to buy a grindstone, is it ? You didn't think that I came in here to ask if you had any baled hay, did you ?" She went away highly indignant. An old lady was devouring a dish ot cream at the next table, and the stranger, after watching her for a few moments, called out :
" My dear woman haye you found any hairs or buttons in your dish ? " "Mercy no!" she exclaimed, as she ■wheeled around, and dropped her spoon, " Well, I'm glad of it," he continued. "If you find any, just let me know." She looked at him for half a minute, picked up the spoon, laid it down again, and then rose and left the room, She must have said something to the proprietor, for he came running in and exclaimed : " Did you tell that woman that there were haira or buttons in my iceoream ? " "No, sir."
"You didn't?"
" No, sir, I did not ; I merely requested her, in case she found any such ingredients to inform me."
The propiietor went away growling, and at the stranger quietly sipped away at his cream, two young ladies came in, sat down near him, and ordered some cream and cake. He waited until they had eaten a little, and then remarked :
"Beg pardon, Jadies, but do you not observe anything peculiar in the t?ste of this ice cream?"
They tasted, smacked their lips, and were not certain.
"Doeß ib taste to you as if a plug of tobacco had fallen into the freezer?" he asked.
" Ah ! kah !" they exclaimed, and tried to spit out what they had eaten. Both rushed out, and the stranger followed after. By great luck his coat-tails cleared the door an imtant 100 soon to be struck by a five ponnd box of figs, hurled with great force by the indignant proprietor. As he reached the kerb stone, he halted, looked at the door^of the parlour and soliloquized : •' There are times when people Bhould infer, and then there are times when they shouldn't. I suppose if I had asked those girls if they thought the proprietor hashed up a Baw-mill in the cream they'd have felt a circular saw going down their throatß.,"
THE MAN WHO TALKED TO MUCH.
Otago Witness, Issue 1476, 28 February 1880, Page 27
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