Passing Notes.

Otago Witness, Issue 1476, 28 February 1880, Page 18

Passing Not es.

Saul|among the prophets was a prodigy and portent, but Mr Stout amongst the preachers seems much in the place for .■which nature intended him. I have read Mr Stout'a sermon on " Inspiration," and congratulate him on the technical correctnesß of its form. Everything [was in the best pulpit manner. The sermon began with an introduction which had nothing to do with the subject ; it had toree heads and an application. It was long, it was dull — orthodoxy itself couldn't be duller— and it had the indispensable quotation of poetry to cap the peroration. What more could you expect in a sermon 1 1 don't know whether Mr Stout at one time entertained the common ambition of a young Scotchman to "wag his pow in apoopit," or if he ever underwent a course of Presbyterian Homiletica, but he certainly does the thing very well. As to the matter of the discourse, so far as I may presume to understand Mr Stout, he undertook to show, first, that inspiration iB impossible ; secondly, that it is unnecessary; thirdly, that it is constant and universal. Number three, perhaps, doesn't seem quite to hang together with numbers one and two. Mr Stout's arguments are like the allies beseigin Angiers in " King John"— From north to south Austria and Franco shoot in each other's mouth. But that is nothing to a lawyer. A lawyer will plead "not guilty" and "justification" to the same indictment, and win with either horse as chance may serve. In this case Mr Stout wins with each horse in turn. It is necessary to deny inspiration to Moses, you see, and to grant it to Mrs Hardinge-Britten. That is why inspiration is at the same time unnecesßary and indispensable — impossible, And yet of everyday occurrence. Pending the resuscitation of the long- silent 4i Echo," Mr Stout evacuates his theology through the columns of the Times. If X may venture a suggestion, I should say that publicity is inexpedient. Omne ignotum pro magnifico. Christianity wouldn't long survive the publication of all the Bermons preached in its favour, and judging from this specimen, Freethought can't be in much better case.

Since Guy Fawkes and hia Gunpowder Plot, which waa designed to blow into the air that Bapient noodle James I. with all his Lords and Commons, there has been nothing quite of the same kind until the Nihilist attempt to blow up the Winter Palace. This plot, whioh may be called the Dynamite Plot, quite beats the other. . Guy Fawkes and hifl fellow-labourera goring cwka of gunpowder iv the ready-

made and unguarded vaults below the Houses of Parliai^eut ii-o altogether eclipsed by conspirators who seek their foe surrounded by his guards in the heart of his palace, and plant a mine beneath his very dining table* Then the gunpowder explosion didn't go Off, whereas the dynamite explosion did. The Nihilists tried shooting at the Czar in the streets, and, when that wouldn't do, mined and wrecked the railway line on which he was travelling. This endeavour also coming to naught, they have conceived the idea of blowing him up in the bosom of his family, so to speak, when sitting down to dinner in the hall of his favourite palace. There is a §thorough-going earnestness about these Nihilist attentions which would make me feel very uncomfortable if I were the Czar, and I should be inclined to give up the business. Kings can't be expected to go on reigning if any considerable section of their people take to shooting them, or blowing them up with dynamite. Insurgents have generally made the mistake of levying open war. They have tried conclusions with standing armies, and Providence, as usual, has been on the side of the strong battalions. The Nihilist method is to Btrike at royalty itself, and if they go on striking long enough it is hard to see why they shouldn't hit. A coat of mail may turn a bullet or dagger, but it is a poor protection against a charge of dynamite. Kings can't afford to emigrate, or we might memorialise the poor persecuted Czar to leave his country for his country's good, and come to New Zealand. He might try sheep farming on the Aucklands, though perhaps after *St. Petersburg they would hardly be cold enough for his taste. By this time he ought to be ready to Bay, " Anything for & quiet life."

How did the Nihilists get their dynamite into the Winter Palace 1 The Russian police will find out, or pretend to find out in due time no doubt, but pending the result of their slow-posted inquiries I have a little speculation of my own. According to the telegrams, the oonspirators mined the palace, and fired the dynamite by electricity. Now for three months past the ground in Russia has been frozen as hard as iron, and consequently has not been propitious to mining operations. Moreover, it is inconceivable that assailants could have approached the palace in that way, detached as it is from the buildings by wide spaces, and incessantly watched and patrolled. It would be miraculously accurate engineering, too, which by subterranean approach would exactly hit the Ozar's dining hall. There is a better way than that. This is what I should have done if the business of blowing up the Emperor of all the Russiaa had been entrusted to me. There are no doubt bells —electric bells, which put the dining hall in communication with various parts of the palace. I don't say that Imperial Majesty is accustomedtoringfor "Jeames" to bring more coals, or anything of that sort, but there will be bells. Consequently thera will be wires, that is all I want. A lady saunters into the hall with a dynamite cartridge hidden in her muff — small enough to lie comfortably there, but strong enough to blow in the side of a house — and by a wire attached, hooks it on to the knob of one of these bells, connected perhaps behind curtains, tapestry, what not. (Dynamite, remember, unlike gunpowder, does its work without compression. It will shatter rock though only laid on the surface. ) Then the lady of rank saunters out again. At the other end of the bell-wire, in some secretary or other functionary's office, say a quarter of a mile off, sifes the conspiritor. At the appropriate moment he completes his circuit, and the business is done. I don't propose to take out a patent for my idea. I should have no objection to try it on the electric-bell system of some suitable building— say the City Hotel-— but lam told the proprietor would probably have objections. Some people have so little interest in experimental science !

Faithful are the wounds of a friend— ! especially those of a candid friend ! A traveller has come to Otago in the character of our candid friend, and writes to the Ballymena Observer hia estimate of our character and ways. The Star has reprinted someof his criticisms, andafterperusiDgthem I am in a position to Bay that our critic does the part of a candid friend with' much fidelity. He is not afraid of wounding, and his wounds are faithful indeed. Coming from the refined civilisation and classic associations of Ballymena, this gentleman has exceptional advantages for judging our manners. It ia painful to learn, then, that the Dunedin people are " without exception the rudest boors on earth." They are "the meanest, the basest, the most depraved, and the most ignorant set" the traveller from Ballymena " ever came in contact with." The reason of our vileness is only too apparent. "Being originally the dregs and sweepings of Home towns, nothing better can be expected." " The Dunedin colonial," he continues, "is a fearful egotist and bully, and when he is set upon by English pluck and manliness he cringes before you like a coward." Our women, sad to say, are mates even too bad for such a race of gorillas. " The women are infinitely worse than the men, and excel all creation in vulgarity, caddish pride, and bombastic impudence, and a general degraded and depraved nature." The " great bulk " of us " are of Scottish origin "—which, I fear, it is impossible to deny— and *'of the worst type." An Ballymena is apparently in that part of

Scotland called the North of Ireland, our critic probably knows the " worst type " of Scotchman when he sees him, and speaks with authority. Our principal streets " contain a few fair shops, very badly stocked to a Home idea, and most frightful charges "—accuracy in the use of words does not appear to be among the virtues cultivated at Ballymena— "really a downright robbery." In the shops with these singular contents swindling is, of course, the normal course of business. "Everybody considers himself very smart, and that accounts for one outwitting the other "—insufficiently accounts for it, I should say. As to the ' ' frightful charges " " trifling little things worth about sixpence they ask half -a- crown for." This was the experience of the Irish reaper who in England waa pricing a pullet on a stall: "Half-a- crown? Git along wid ye ! Shure I'd git it for sixpence in me own counthry !" " Why didn't you stay there then V " Faix an' I hadn't the sixpence !" May I suggest that it was probably the deficiency of sixpences at Ballymena that sent this refined and pacific critic to our savage and inhospitable shore. It is a pity he prefers to be anonymous. We have entertained an angel unawares. If he would make himself known, I think I might assure him of a warm reception.

There was something very amusing in the situation when both Sir George Grey and the wily Mr Whitaker, AttorneyGeneral, visited the Thames at one and the same time. To Sir George Mr "Whitaker must be the arch-representative of every malign influence. He is a successful political opponent ; a member of the Upper House after being defeated in a contest for the popular Assembly ; is responsible for all the land jobbery in connection with the Piako Swamp, &c. ; a fidus Achates to the Bank of New Zealand party ; and generally speaking a member of the Conservative "swell mob" so graphically described by Sir George. Hoy?H ov? they must have looked askance at each other ! But; the best of the joke was the embarrassment of the people when these two rival heroes arrived. " How happy could they be with either, Were t'other dear charmer away." They loved Sir George for his patriotism and his eloquence, but then the other man held the purse-atringg, or at least waa an influential colleague of the individuals who had the destinies of New Zealand m their hands. They therefore felt that on no account must they offend him by too warm a reception of Sir George. And so their enthusiasm was prudently kept down, and civility was extended to both men impartially. " Two stars keep not their motion in ono sphere ;" And so the great Proconsul was neutralised, and Whitaker for a time was in the ascendant. Alas for the power of pelf when placed in contrast with great principles and the welfare of the human race ! Self kicks the beam, though all the world is in the other Bcale. Civis.