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A DISAPPOINTED JUROR.

• ! (San Francisco Weekly Post. ) i It was a flushed and somewhat excited ' citizen who presented himself before one i jof those judges of this oity who were i carefully voted out last Wednesday, and • IremaiMdjrg^ fiK&tW&Xttiitft . „ j^jf^pig^ -yoWßonor* u l *YaW been [ ; drawn as a juror for the coming term of your ■ 5 Court, and I have come to ba excused. It is k i impossible for me to sit." . i " Indeed," said the judge, with some of t '.that elephantine playfulness peculiar to the ) iSan Franoisco bench. "Haven't a boil, .. 'have you!" 'ii\ " No, nir, I haven't," replied the gentlei .man, getting still warmer; but I haven't i l the time. I am worn out with business, , and want to !go)off ;j|xto;"lthe|country and >} > fish." I, " Pish, sir ? Do you mean to say that you l would prefer to sit four hours at a stretch r on a slippery log, getting your nose peeled > by the sun, rather than uphold law and order • by the exercise of a freeman's dearest pre3 rogative ?" b " Yes, I would." j "You sadden me, air. Besides, the fish ) ain't biting worth a cent just now." [ "I don't care if "they ain't. I know a i place where they bite all the year • round." , The Court carefully noted down the Bpot l "I regret the necessity, my dear sir, but -. I oaunot excuse you." • " I'm blusted if I serve," shouted the vie9 tlm, desperately. " Besides, lemme see, I •" had the small-pox recently, and I'm afraid I ain't quite-onrjßd,-#i,v <-,<> •* " Have you the leprosy ?" inquired his ' l Honor, blandly lighting another cigar. , " Of course not." " Then there's no use talking. Small-pox ' don't go. Nothing but leprosy will do— . these times." : «• You insist on my serving, do you ?" said the citizen, looking very pale and determined. " Very well ; now listen to me. I swear I • won't convict a single criminal — not one. I'll 3 hang the jury or acquit every prisoner you r try. Then when the country is flooded with 1 burglars and murderers it will be your own r .rii'i&y^eV^ ' up and grasping the speaker's hand with 1 ' emotion. "If you are on the acquit you're i just the man I've been looking for. The r ! relatives of two or three prisoners have been r , to see me, and — well— ahem ! —you understand — I go out of office pretty soon — and — of course we must make hay while the sun 9 i shines, as it were. Now, suppose you come ' t up and dine with me to-night, and perhaps ' j we can make some little mutual arrangement. [ See the point, don't you— eh ? -coin, my dear 1 sir, coin." , But the obstinate man went off in a rage I to buy a revolver j and the judge has since I instructed the bailiff ta have him on hand ? ; when the Court meets, alive or dead. Some ! people have no sabe about a speculation at ■ all, it wo\ild seem. ; A POLITICAL EPIGRAMMATIST. ', r , In an address to his constituents on the ; I Bth September, Mr Grant Duff is reported to ' J • have said :—": — " Ido not know if an epigram j i, which vtais repeated tome at the House of j

'ConTmUnl~ohand¥d~ to reach your It rairag ■ follows:— MTU it** The Chief of tha" Army' and Head of the Fleet . Resolved on a voyage to Cyprus and Crete ; But the natives, alarmed by tho rumours of wars, Mistook one for Neptune and the other fer Mara, Erected an altar to Stanley forthwith, And knocked up a bookstall to W. H. Smith." It is sometimes lamented that the art of the epigrammist, and especially of the politloal epigrammist, has become extinct. But after the specimen here preserved by Mr Grant Duff, so distinguished alike for the wit, novelty, and good taste of the mot which forms its point, we need not despair of a revival of this graceful exercise of ingenuity I The free use of pure perfumes acts as a safe-guard aWnst all infectious diio&iea ; thus it is that in those sjck rooms where MURRAY & LANMAN'S FLORIDA WATER is constantly sprinkled, perfect safety is in. sured to every member of the household. I I have been cured of a cancerous sore on my laf t tide $y seven bottles of BRISTOL'S SARSAPARILLA, and five phials of the pills. The sore had troubled me for » year and a h»lf . ' QEO. E. STONE, Ballarat, Victoria. i FiiOrimnb !— For the Tebth and Breath.— A few drops of the liquid •« Floriline" sprinkled on a wet tooth-brush produces & pleasant lather, which thoroughly cleanses the teeth from all parasites or impurities, hardens the gums, prevents tarUr, itopi decay, gives to the teeth a peculiar pearly-whiteness, and » delightful fragrance to the breath. It removes all unpleasant odour ariiing from decayed teeth or tobacco smoke. "The Fragrant Floriline," being composed in part of honey and sweet herbs, is dellclous to the taste, and the greatest toilet discovery of the age. Price 2s 6(1, of all Chemists and Perfumers. Prepared by Hbnry G. Gallup, 493 Oxford street, London.— [Advt.] i Valuable Disoovkry for thb Hair.— lf your hair is turning grey or white, or falling off, use " The Mexican flair Eenewer. ' for It will gosttively^restore in every cas&tfrttijfy'Ji 'iktSUdSj) t<f its priginircolour, without leavlfaVxnerdisaffree'abie' smell dr-most " ReItorere." It makes the hair charmingly beautiful, as well as promoting the growth of the hair on bald spots, w£ero,ths<Kland3{are.not decayed. >A»k' your Chemisla fSr^ f TirirMBXICAN Saib^'Rknbwbr,". prepared by Henry 0. Gallup, 498 Oxford street, LondOD, and sold by Chemists and Parfumers.everywhere I Advice to Mothers ! — Are you broken in your res by a siold"pbil(ai«^er^ffi»wJLtn-tliej!p»Ja.|jjf putting teeth ? Go at once to a chemist and get a bottle of Mrs Winslow,'s,Sootuing Syrup.., It, will, relieve the poor Bufferef v iinW3difiiieiy. Jl/ tt ft^erf&tly* harmless knd pleasant to taste, it produces natural, quiet sleep, by relieving the chil^d from nsnn r Undjthe. litt^-chjerub ii wakes'" as Bright as a button.' It soothes the child it softeßS t .the rßumsr Bums, f< aUays r all r pata. relieves^wind, regulars the *lfc wffl?aßH"Hi toe^esV'kriowrrremedy lor dysentery and diarrhoea, whether arising from leethinlga<oiH ot}{er{»oaU&&3*,Mra? WJnslow^attSoOthlng: Syrup is sold by medicine dealers everywhere at Is ljd per bottle. -• Manufactured., at. ,493: Oxford Btreet London.— | Advt.l '' '•"" -- > i •*•• ■• i Taylor Rrothers'Maravilla Cocoa.— Taylor jßrother«, Luuuon, hiving the exciueive supply of thla .unrivalled Cocoa, invite comparison with any other lOocoa for Purity— fine Atoma-T-Sanativej^Tuteltiyej and Sustaining "PoVerTi faAWjfarSm&^ftT* » favourite Beverage for breakfaßt, luncheon, and a toothing r refraßhiaent after -a Jate evening, .For Wourible OJ oplnlo^V c^ I Standß*a]%ornlng J Po»t, •British Medical Journal, &c, &c. Taylor Brothers' iHoMCßOPATmaCofco'jfcj— Tliiß original preparation,' which has attained such a world-wide reputation, is manufactured bK.Tavlor.Brothers, upder the ablest homoeoIpathic advlce>ldea by the skill'ana experierice' oTthe [inventors, and will be found to combine in an eminent degree .th»purity}vflfl««roma, ui'dtnutritioui. property of the fresh nut. Taylor Brothers' Soluble OhoooLATB is-made-in one minute f pithou^. boiling., ,TayOiOR BRO^iEMRs' MARAVUi^'OOOOA' EBBBNCB, ' OR TUBS [Soluble Cocoa —This exquisite production will supply > wanfc^wrrfeU.bv q^oajdr^kersrnainely, *P^wpy gonuine artfeie, free frdm ad mix tare of any kind— nourishing, refreshing, and grateful to the palate. Ib (J-lb tins. r^TA-UiOK^JBBOTHSB&SCBipoMVTr-ManufaC-'tured fio'mth'eflbestßSlgiari J Eb'ot*ln SS'and'^-lb 'tins.— Steam Mills, Brick Lane, London ; Export jChicory; Mil^,Brnges; 2-Belgiuinßm^P^^2 -Belgiuin Bm^P^^ no n ?,

Permanent link to this item

https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/OW18791213.2.62.4

Bibliographic details

Otago Witness, Issue 1465, 13 December 1879, Page 23

Word Count
1,209

A DISAPPOINTED JUROR. Otago Witness, Issue 1465, 13 December 1879, Page 23

A DISAPPOINTED JUROR. Otago Witness, Issue 1465, 13 December 1879, Page 23

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