Danvid the Cravedigger.

Otago Witness, Issue 1374, 30 March 1878, Page 18

Danvid the Cravedigger.

A SCOTCH STORY.

The individual referred to in the following sketch having been grossly overlooked by Dean Ramsay and other writers of that ilk in their narrations of the eccentricities of the Scottish gravedigger or sexton of the olden time, and being a thorough specimen of his class, we think that a brief notice of some of the peculiarities of his character might be found worthy of the perusal of the reader.

Dauvid, as ho was commonly called Che did not like Davie, it being too common), was the minister's man, and sexton of 0 , a rural parish in the "Kingdom of Fife," and, like the majority of folks in that quarter, was rather opinionative and hard headed.

Ho held a very high estimate of himself, the ordinary parishioner being altogether below his notice, and even looked at times upon his worthy master as a secondary personage to himself. At the nightly gatherings in the smith's shop and other such coteries, Dauvid was the leading oracle. Should a political or ecclesiastical question, or any matter of local note, be the subject of discussion, his views were heard with tho greatest deference, and invariably acceded to, Hq

was, in short, a Bort of village Rhadamanthus. In all disputes his decision was final.

His failings, it is needlosa to mention, were many, and these, we are sorry to Bay, did not always "loan to virtue's side," but rather, as the Bequel will show, inclined the other way.

Dauvid's duty on Sunday was to open the church, ring the bell for a quarter of an hour or so before the service, and to carry the books to the pulpit. This latter duty he performed with such grace and unction, that a stranger, one who knew not Dauvid, on observing his slow and measured step in ascending the pulpit stair, tho care ho took in the placing of the "books," and the stand of a second or two with eyes Blightly upturned before slowly descending, must have thought him one who was not only deeply impressed with the duties of his office, but a person almost without guile. Those who knew Dauvid personally viewed the matter in a different light. His duty during the rest of the week was to attend to the cultivation of the glebe, gravedigging, and any odd job that might be required about the manse. As to the gravedigging, to use his own words, " it payed weel eneuch, but there was so little o'd ; that the Fife folks were quick breeders but slow dee'rs, auld age takin 1 the maist awa' that cam' his way." The Rev. Mr. B , being old and infirm, arid having great confidence in hia secant, left hirttto manage things as he thought best, and Dauvid, having no great inclination to work, was not slow in taking advantage of the trust reposed in him. Having plenty of spare time on his hands, and being particularly fond of a dram, he was generally, when his funds would admit, to be found in the village inn with one or more drouthy cronies. Of the many stories that are told of the shifts he was put to, and the schemes he concocted, to get his favourite beverage, we give the following : —On one occasion having a job on hand, a farmer in the neighbourhood having died, or, according to Dauvid, had broken his lease and taken one of his smaller farms (we may mention, by the way, that Dauvid held himself up as a pattern landlord, none of his tenants ever thinking of leaving after they once settled down), and thinking that a little whisky would help greatly to expedite the work, he was determined if possible to get a supply, but was almost put to his wits' ends as to how it could be managed. Jock D — , another worthy whom he had called to assist, was equally dry, and at as great a loss. It must be remembered that they had no kind " uncle " then as now-a-days to apply to in such a strait, so that in the absence of credit other means to raise the wind had to be resprted to, which often required a good deal of planning. After the two had thought over the matter for some time apparently to little purpose, a bright idea seeming to strike Dauvid, he remarked — " What dae ye 'think tae try himsel,' Johni " meaning the minister. "It's a' yell hae fort," was the answer. ' Merely saying it was " worth a trial, at onyrate," and telling him to "wait awee," he made straightway for the manse. On arriving and getting an audience of the minister, the following conversation took place, Dauvid opened the subject with — " That calf o' oors is in a bad way, sir, and I think it's oor duty to try and do something ford." " What is like the matter, David 1 " "Deed, sir, it's hard tae say. Last nicht it appeared to be weel eneuch, but this mornin' I noticed that it had ta'en an awf u' shiverin*. It haß a sair hoast, puiE feeast — jist a wauf o' cauld, nae doot, but the suner it's lifted the better."

"Well, you know more about these things than I do, David. What remedy would you advise ? " " Weel, air, I think a little speerits, and some sulphur, in het water, micht dae some gude ; it's aboot the best thing for a cauld, baith for man and beast."

The whisky with the sulphur and water was at once ordered to be given to fcyivid, which, on being got, he repaired K^nis friend John, who was standing disconsolately where he had left him, not having much faith in the resulb of Dauvid's mission. On getting sight of the bottle, however, he became quite elated, and asked Dauvid, " Hoo in a' tho earth he had managed to come roond him ? " After giving an outline of the conversation between himself and the minister, Dauvid advised that the calf should be "doctored" at once, as they did not know how soon he might take a step across to see how matters stood. On reaching the byre they found their patient, which it is needless to say had all appearance of being sound both in wind and limb, and laying the bottle containing the spirits aside for their own use, commenced to sponge it all over with the warm water into which the sulphur had been placed, and carefully covering it with rugs, it was not long in perspiring profusely. After Borne time, as Dauvid had rightly anticipated, the minister' was not long in making his appearance, and on part of the covering being removed, his attention was drawn to the sweating process that the animal was undergoing, showing the powerful and beneficial effects of the stimulant. Being much pleased with the result, after praising his servant for hie veterinary skill, he left, no doubt highly satisfied that his temporal interests were so well looked after. Immediately after the departure of the good man tho whisky was brought forth, and a dram drunk by each to the speedy recovery of the calf, and the brilliant success of their scheme. Being thus fortified, taking the bottle

with them, the two worthies left for the churchyard, to open the grave for the deceased farmer. Dauvid was not long in measuring off the ground, and giving his assistant strict injunctions to be particularjwiththe job, as it was to be a "gude peyin' ane," they commenced to work in earnest, and were not long in coming to tho required depth. When almost finished, whether from the frequent applications to the bottle and not seeing very clearly, both being pretty far gone by this time, or not being well up to his work, Jock by some mischance or other undermined the tombstone which stood at the head of the grave in a somewhat slanting position, and which toppled over and fell flat on the opening. The two having barely time to save their heads, had to bring themselves to a sitting position at the bottom, and were immured in almost total darkness. Finding after many trials that with their united efforts they were unable to raise the stone so as to gain an exit, they were obliged to have recourse to their voices, and, bawling their loudest, their cries were not long in attracting the attention of a son of St. Crispin whose house was in close proximity to the churchyard. The quiet of the village being seldom disturbed by any such noise, the shoemaker thought, no doubt, there must be something! wrong, and hurried over with all speed to the spot from whence the cries proceeded. On viewing things, he, to use the stereotyped phrase, took in the situation at a glance, and, being waggishly inclined, was determined to make the most of Dauvid in his dilemma, and to have some fun before relieving him out of his fix. Bending over the stone, he remarked in answer to Dauvid's earnest appeal to lift the stone and save him from being smothered, that he would be glad to obleege him, but that it was a business he did not care aboot meddlin' wi', that perhaps it would bo better to bring Dauvid, the man who put him in, and who had. full charge of the kirkyard, and moreover it micht be the means of enlightening the old man in a matter that he had often expressed grave doubts about, and in fact had denied altogether, like the Sadducees of old, for though a minister's man, he was bound to say that Dauvid was not very Boond in the faith.

Dauvid, who sat listening, not in the best of moods it may be supposed, called "him a bletherin' fule, and again asked him to lift the stone.

Jock, who had said nothing up till this, also pressed for more light and air, and threatened what would be done if immediate steps were not taken for their release.

"Gudeßake, are there mair o' ye? are ye a' to bo up thegither ? I maun awa ower foe Dauvid at once, for he'll hae his wark afore him, puir man, but ye may depend he'll no lift for naething, and its no' to be expected that ye can hae ony thing tae gie him. Deed freends, on Becond thochts, no' to speak o' the expense ye wud be pit tae, I wud advise ye a' (for gude kens hoo mony's o' ye) jist tae turn ower on yere ither sides an' lie still ; there's naething here but drouth and short corn, and should you hae as little pleesure as the maist on that's here, ye'd be gled to get back. It was a bad, weary warld whan ye left nae doot, and I can assure ye its nae better yet, but gettin' waur and waur every day." The r answer to this harangue being in terms far from complimentary, they were told not to get angry, but to try and bear a little longer ; that nae doot they would find their present quarters cauld and uncomfortable enough, considering the warm place they had very likely come from, but as they appeared to have got the start, there being no signs of any general movement among them, Dauvid's attention would be drawn to them first, and that without delay.

Leaving on the pretence of getting Dauvid, he was not long in collecting a number of the villagers and letting them into the secret. They returned in a body to the churchyard, and after some little trouble raised the stone, and assisted Dauvid and his companion, both in a halfdazed state, to the surface.

Dauvid being asked to explain how they came to be so placed, laid the whole blame on his assistant, calling him a bungling ideeot, and that it all came through havin' to do wi 1 ane that kent naething aboofc the trade, but that it wud be a lesson to him for times to come, to which the other naively replied that he thocht that a man that could bury himsel' and an experienced gravedigger at the same time couldna be said to be very far back in the business.

The job having been finished by the assistance of thoae present in a tradesmanlike manner, the party left, Dauvid very much crest-fallen, being sure that it would be long before he would hear the last of it, Jock slily remarking to him on the way out that it was nothing but what he might have expected, after the fcale he had tell't aboot the cauf.

' Many years have now elapsed since Dauvid and all concerned have gone to their rest, but we have no doubt that the incident recorded will be familiar to many still living in that part of the "Kingdom."

A crushing of 70 tons of quartz from No. 5, South Lady Mary, Gyrupie, has yielded 606 ounces of smelted gold.

As tho return of Stanley is likely to raiaa the old controversy concerning his nationality, it ia aa well to afcate that the result of that discussion showed him to be a Welshman born.