Llotsam and Detsam.

Otago Witness, Issue 1325, 21 April 1877, Page 14

Llotsam and Detsam.

Si quid novisti reelius istis Oandiiu* imperii; si rum, his uUre mtcum. \ "If you know anything better than thaw'; remarks of mine, Madly tell me; if not, uae 1 these with me." ■ The casual visitor to Caversham v/illfind that they manage things in that! suburb, very nicely indeed,- _I knewj house rent was an expensive item, but I j did not know that landlords had' to put ! up with such shifts. I saw a large ' placard stuck on the carcase of a mutton announcing that " a large four -roomed house was to let ; enquire ,within." " Ha, ha I" was this one of Judge Ward's favourites? was it a Leicester mutton? and would residence in it bring on indigestion, and indigestion melancholy, and melancfioly murder and all sorts of crime ?

The party who announced hia progeny's arrival thusly deserves immortality :—: — "On the so and so, at ao and so, the wife of so and so, ' of a son, to be named Charles Edward." I have heard of counting your chickens before they are hatched, but there is designed prematureness about this announcement that I never saw beat. Probably this was the firat born. The poor man by the time he comes to his eighth will find it hard enough at the last moment to think of a name to give his youngster.

• Testimonials are often given for very different things, and I have known. a parson get a teapot in the exhilaration of mind of his people at getting rid of him. I have seen a clerk get a purse of sovereigns from his fellows in the office because he was going away— not for any other reason. (Still I think all the usual absurdities of testimonial giving . were fairly cast into the shade by the people" who gave Pooley and BramhaU* a purse of fifty sovereigns because they- had committed a dastardly and cruel attack on a betting' man. There was one thing worse than. the offence, and that was the defence. The plea set up was that Pooley was not' the offender, but "another of the team"—s aid teamster beiflg out of the Colony; however. ' This is what I should call a sign of that good-fellowship which does rightly animate -all the zealous adherents of a. mauly sport like that of cricket.

Well, if they never got it before, the yellow - skinned Mongolian will get a chance of being washed at last. The trouble of getting a hangman is nothing, however, to the trouble of getting a washerman to cleanse the Chinamen before getting out of quarantine. One or two of the regulations were omitted in the public list. (A, 4.) ' Any fleas or other vermin found on the skin or in the fold of the pig tail shall be divided into two classes, one class to consist of cocks, the other of hens, the former to be chucked, the latter offered to Captain Hutton for the Museum. After taking the Chinamen to ore end of the island the whole island is to be set on fire, and the devil take the hindmost, the medical men and the washerman to get three minutes start. The gentleman who will

act as"fumigatoi r is "io receive a cbmmission to act as Lord Lieutenant of the Avckland Isles for fourteen years. It is hoped that by rigidly observing these precautions the people of Dunedin-'will be preserved from a scare. In the present delicate stato of health of some of the municipal authorities, we" ought to take very great care that they are not frightened ! I want to know if those people who have advocated the advisability of drawling the beer on Saturday, and keeping it over until Sunday, have e\er tried their own recipe. There is a good deal, of legislation done for the unhappy poor by those who think they know what ia good for them, but this idea of keeping the publics closed all Sunday, the only day that the workman dines at home, beats all. . One good thing is this, that the. occasional -fines that may fall on the publican will not prevent him from serving his customers, and ihero is not the slightest chance of any law really shutting up the publicans on Sunday. • - j I am pleased to see that the Benevolent' ia going, to invest some of its funds this year. The fifteen hundred is but a small sum to put by, but it' is. something. I believe that the committee will find that many of their grants might well be rejduced. and the people who thrive on Lelp from the charitable/ be' allowed to starv^ a little until" they learn more providence. I cr nnot get over the fact that the grants increase just as the donations of the pubf lie increase. I think there must be something like a draw in the Benevolent; a tendency Lo create the pauperism which it is intended to relieve.

Crustacean. :