Flatsam and Jetsam.

Otago Witness, Issue 1242, 18 September 1875, Page 14

Flats am and Jetsam.

Si quid noeuti rectitu istis Candidas imperti; ti turn, his Mere inecum. "If you know anything better than these remarks of mine, kindlj tell me; if not, use these with we."

I am affected to tears at the spectacle now presented in Wellington of Sir George Grey, all blood and gore, falling \ipon the neck of that highly respectable and confidential dry nurse, Mr Stafford, and making it up." That must be a hard nearfc that does not well up with emotion at so invigorating a spectacle. Burying the hatchet always makes a fellow cry! whether m the brain of an enemy or in the ground. After all the dreadful threats on either Bide it is pleasant to see the warriors meeting in a Korero, and agreeing to disarm. '

Those who are interested in the Western Railways will do well to keep their eyes open to watch the little game now going on The contracts amount to a sum of £100,000, an item of sufficient importance to render it worth while to attend to the detail of expenditure It is to be hoped that the independent report of Messrs Barr and Oliver will not be hushed np— burked ; but if rumour be true, there is some hankey-pankey work going on, which requires examination. Probably, when it is all too late, the whole thing will be derided as the last and grossest instance of Provincial mismanagement, a horrid example to show how things used to be done in a corner.

And talking of Provincial mismanagement, it is amusing to notice that the Provinces are coming to be looked for as promising nurseries for young statesmen, and being held up for admiration in that light. Mr Stout has always been grand about this point of view, and now I notice that the Aucklauders have determined that "they will not suffer the road to preferment and public life to be narrowed for their children, any more than for themselves." I never knew before the State ship existed to afford an opening for promising tars. It is usually supposed to exist for the maintenance of other things.

1 never go to the Temperance Hall without wondering what would happen if there were an alarm of fire when the house is crammed. Taking things at their best, there is a most detestable difficulty in such a getting down stairs, and in case of a fright there would be many deaths. At Moody and Sankey'a service at Camberwell the other day a fright ensued, and though the exit was comparatively easy, yet several lives were lost. During a revival meeting at Melbourne the other day, the fire-bell rang, and a stampede ensued. One of the agitators* solemnly assured his subjects that there was no danger, because lie knew who was pulling the ropes— it was the devil.

His Honour the Deputy did not see why clergymen, any more than any [other] old women should get free railway tiokets on errands of benevolence. Neither do I, only if all the old women were excluded what should we do for Deputy Supers and caitle of that kind. One Deputy to twelve parsons, however, is unfair odds, and Mr Turnbull was talked down, but he stuck to his colours. More power to his elbow ! I understand that a good many honest clerics declined to make the appeal, because the lines were used on Sundays. The rest parted with their principles without getting the consideration they wanted. The measurements of members' speeches —the computation of them by houra, and so on— must be a pleasing relaxation to pressmen in the intervals of euchre. What a dismal tale. .Fancy 53 hours of continuous discourse. Messrs Dignan and Jackson distinguished themselves by making the shortest speeches—only ten minutes between them. Fitzherbert spoke for four hours twenty minutes. What a volley of words ■ I almost insensibly, and from a sort of habit, go to sleep at the very thought of it. Did anybody listen ? has anyone read it all through ? They deserve a pension if they did for zeal in discharge of their duties. At Waipori, a poor fellow, a hatter ([ don t know if he was as mad as a hatter), died from exposure and want of attention. The story is a melancholy one, without one ounce of fun in it. The conclusion at which a certain gentleman or Waipori arrived is, on the contrary, full of a grave and sedate irony. "Thus ended the existence of one who, though suffering from aberration of the intellect, was strictly honest, bis motto being ready cash for everything he bought." I suspect a vein of unconscious satire. Had the honesty anything to say to the aberration of intellect, or the want of intellect to the honesty ? How do they manage these things at Waipori; and do they leave paymentincash" co the aberrated, leavin« debts and bills at three months to the sane 1 ? My conviction is that, as anybody must be mad to live at Waipori as long as there w an untenanted cell in any gaol in New Zealand, they are all honest folk there. Very hard for the amateurs. A critic, doing the Harmonic, says of the gentleman who did the " Arab's Farewell to his Steed, ' " that he is useful in the chorus, but hardly capable of giving a solo— -that IB to say, properly. " And, again, of the bass—" We hope that the gentleman will, at some future period, be able to give a solo." Rough— isn't it.

Crustacean.