Flotsam and Letsam.

Otago Witness, Issue 1230, 17 July 1875, Page 14

Flotsam and L etsam.

Si quid notisli rectiut ittis Candidas imperti; *i non, hifvtere mecum.

"If you know anything better than these remarks of mine, kiudlj tell me} if not, use these with me."

Some wißeacre or other remarked three years since that we were all going education mad. He was laughed at, but after last week's proposals, I should incline to the opinion that there was a method in his madness. A scientific man ia to have the care of the trout and grass in the Botanical Gardens, another scientific man is to lecture upon surveying and mining, four more ultra-scientific men are to have charge of the Hospital, while ticientificest of all is to curate the Museum. The little bill comes to about £2000. Science is expensive, but then, aa its fondest boast is that it is practical and deals with material objects, I cannot wonder at its devoting so much attention to the precious metals. The first of the proposed new creations will be quite valueless. We do not want science so much in the Botanical, aa leave for the children to play on the grass and trundle their hoops over the flower beds. The scientific miner and surveyor is useless, we have as much science a < we waut in survtys and mining —nascitnr non fit.

As to the Hospital wards, that is all right— though T never can help feeling pity for the patients who are used as objects by which students may lourn their profession. I know it is necessary ; but would you like to be used for an objectlesson if you had a curious complaint i Students must learn, of course, and it is only the doctrine of the greatest happiness of the greatest number in a new shape. From the Hospital incurables to the Colonial Government is an easy digression — more especially if our Julius is at Wilbad taking of the waters. Homburg, 1 should nay, was much more in hia line — thfy have a roulette table there.

Poor Dr Pollen ! It is always a difficult task to carry on the labours of a great man, but to succeed Sir J. Yogel with such an unutterably weedy team as the present Colonial Executive, is past the possibilities, Ned Devine himself could not get them over Lookout Point ; they have got that far by the demised energy of the gouty Premier. Farther than that no horsey-man that ever sat on a bux will get them ; but I like the idea of leaving them at the point called "Lookout!"

That Mr Fish hints at insanity in Mr Leary'a family, and that Mr Leary never heard of it, are both cheering facts, and of deep, almost apaHing interest to the ratepaying public in Dunedin, But might not these touching family reminiscences be carried a little farther. Has Mr Fish's uncle had the small-pox, or Mr Leary'a brother's mother-in-law got over the measles. We all want to know these things. They make so much difference in conducting an election. Now, I wonder will the Press Agency inform New Zealand by telegram that none of Leary's people are touched in their top storey, and that therefore he has not allied himself by marriage with Mr Fish. If he does, I am sure the Dunstan Times and Arrow Observer will steal the telegram. Has young Scott no parents ? 1 think it is a disgrace to the country to allow a mere child of thirteen to half kill himself by performing a feat which few strong men could accomplish. One hundred miles in twenty -four hours is atremendouß physical performance. Everyone admires the pluck of the lad, but not all our national and hereditary admiration of such acts of prowess ought to blind us to the iniquity of permitting such a thing to be publicly done. It is true the young athlete was attended by Dr Bake if ell, but not even this can reconcile us to the fact that it was cruelty to animals, and ought to be punished as such. I have been reminded that a boy walking about all night might be taken as a vagrant. This is ingenious, if not correct.

Who steak my special telegrams steals ■stuff; but he who filches my Press Agency telegrams robs me of that, &c,

I remember reading a paper in the Cornhill some years ago, entitled "The Morality of Advocacy." . We sadly want a Daniel to come to - judgment upon the morality of newspaper management ; and I may suggest to the sweet young judge that he should have an especial eye to the larcenous habits of those managers who steal their brethren's news. Steal his hat — that is usual ; steal his umbrella —high authority may be cited in support of such robbery ; but spare ! oh, spare ! his telegrams.

Judge Johnston is hoist with his own peeard ; he grudged the counsel a poor half-hour to get their luncheon. He will begin punctually ; and now he has got so many judgments to consider that he can't possibly go to bed for a fortnight. A little less hurry at first, and suitors would have come off just as well ; but, after all, justice is always represented as sleepless.

For the future, even if Barton has that other sandwich at half-past one, the law's lingering delays won't be increased. Judge Johnston can ponder over a judgment while counsel eats plum pudding, and then both will be pleased, fijore, haste the worse speed, is a motto I recommend the Bench.

Mr Blair is great at reports just now about stones. If he would advise us where to go to get a young granite rock for the purpose of making a comparison between it and the heads of the members of Corporation, wjp would not thank him,. Qbvstacsax.