SOME CHAPTERS IN THE LIFE OF A FREE GRANT EMIGRANT.

Otago Witness, Issue 555, 19 July 1862, Page 7

SOME CHAPTERS IN THE LIFE OF A FREE GRANT EMIGRANT.

CHAPTER IV.

When Podgers ascertained the full extent of his loss, he experienced the peculiar sensation known as being ''struck all of* a heap," which F suppose means being thunderstruck, that violent process being geneially understood to follow any sudden catastrophe. Its effect upon Podgers was in the highest degree of a sobering tendency, and his melancholy, rueful visage expressed strongly the consternation his loss had occasioned him. His excited demeanor attracted tli2 notice of the clerical looking waiter, who hal just returned with that unpleasant appendage to all dinners, the bill. Podgers revealed to the half incredulous waiter the theft which had been perpetrated by, a^ he supposed, the Jolly Companion, in such an energetic and feeling manner as to convince him that it was no rus? to avoid payment, but a bjna fill robbery that had been committed under the roof of the respected and respectable Simpson. Other waiters g.ithered round, and bothered the already confused victim with a multitude of questions, and only one of these individuals liad sufficient discernment to hint to Podgers that the most sensible thing he could do was to give instant information to the police, particularly to that übiquitous fraternity the Detectives. This proposition soemed so very sensible, under the circumstances, that Podgers at once proceeded to adopt it, and was going away for that purpose when a mild, stolid looking individual, who had been a mute spectator of the scene, steppxl forward, and quietly requested Podgerp to speak with him for a moment. Podgers hesitated. He half fancied that the mild-looking person who addressed him might be another of the band of Jolly Companions, wishing to make a fresh draft upon his pjekets, but a glance at the impjrturable countenance of the mildlooking person, reassured him on that score ; besides, Podgers reflected, that as the Jolly Companion hal already cleaned him out tolerably completely, there was not much left in i his pocket to excite the cupidity of a pickpocket, and he therefore intimated that he should be glad to hear what the mild-looking party had got to say. The sty grey eyes of the mild-looking party quivered with the slightest perceptible wink, and he mildly hinted that it would be, perhaps, better to step into the private room downstairs. Podgers agreed ; and, when the two had entered the room, and the mild-looking party had noiselessly closed the door, he caused Podgers to give a start of surprise, by telling him that he was a Detective, and would be obliged if Podgers would give him a full account of his los*, and a description of the per- ? jti he suspected of having robbed him. A 9 Podgers related the various episodes of the dinner, and was proceeding to speak of the subsequent dissipation, the mild-looking man kept muttering to himself the words, " just, so ;" and before Podgers had got half through his story he was interrupted by the Detective suddenly taking up the thread of the narrative, with almost ac much exactness as he had been a spectator of all that had occurred. " Just, so," said the mild-looking party, " pleasant dinner — wine, say sherry ? — more wine — jolly chap— cigars — smoke room — punch— more punch — drugged — slept — jolly chap shammed sleep too — woke — robbed— just so," continued the mild-looking party, jerking out his sketch of the events of Podgers' short acquaintance with the Jolly Companion, greatly to Podgers' amazement. " Why-a-how the blank do you know all this ?" he exclaimed staring in utter bewilderment at the mild looking party. •' "Just so, how the blank do I know it ? — why you* see Sir, I happens to know this ere jolly t*arty uncommon well, and am pretty well up in his style of gammoning the flats, begging you pardon Sir, but you must be an uncommon easy gent to make friends with. This 1 here jolly party Sir, calls hisself James » Beainer, Hesguire, leastwise that's the name

he gives in general to gents as he makes up to. Why Sir, he is one of the knowingest " swells" in London, and is always a c wring over gents sich a? you, that's agreeable and friendly sort of people. I calk him Beaming Jim, cause of hi* eyes, which is constantly twinkling, as if they was bulls eyes in one of our lanterns. I ops Sir, yon havn't been so' foolish as to tell him where yon puts up, cause that's a regular plan of his when he comes across gents thats a bit out on the loose ?" Podgers '* owned tiie soft impeachment," and meekly replied that he was afraid that he ha-1 been guilty of the great imprudence specified, and farther that he ha 1 been so very communicative as to tell the Jolly Companion, aliui Beaming Jim, that he had left his carpet hag and money in the care of the barmaid at the Riilway Stoker. " Why Sir, what a chip you is to be sure, I'll bet any mortal thiug thit Beaming Jim has by this time not hold ol your bag and money too, but I'll see what can be done. I think I know where to find the jolly party if he has not bolted into the country, so please order a cab Sir, and we'll drive into the Railway Stoker and see how things goes." Accordingly a cab was called, and the mild looking Detective and the woe-bagone Podgers jumped in, and away the)' sped to the Railway Stoker. PoJgcrs sate the picture of anything but patience ; he certainly did not smile at grief, but heaved many heavy sighs He sighed to think he should have been such a consummate fool. lie sighed at the loss of his watch and chain. He sighed still more at the disappearance of the land grants. He sighed at the probable loss of the carpet bag. He sighed at the thoughts of the abstraction [ of the hundred pounds; and he sighed heavier than all, that he had ever read the Pink Pamphlet, which had been the cause of all his troubles. If he had not-read that he would never have conceived the idea of emigrating. If he In 1 not conceived the idea of emigrating he would never have wanted an advance from his f.ither-in-law. If he hid not wanted an advance from his father-in-law he would never have asked him. If he had not asked him he would] never hive got a cheque for a "kupple a undrel." If he had not got the cheque for a " knpple a undred" he would never have had to go to London to purchase anything. If he had never-gone to London, he would not have been tempted to "go on the loose." If he had never been tempted to "go on the loose," he would never have gone on the loose. If he had not gone on the loose he would not have gone to "Simpson's." ff he had not gone to "Sompsons's" he would not have met the Jolly Companion. If he had not met the Jolly companion, he would not have drunk punch with him. If he had not drunk punch he would not have been intoxicated. If he had not been intoxicated, he would not have slept. If he had not slept, the Jolly Companion would not have picked his pockets. And if the Jolly Companion had not picked his pocket? — Such was the train of reasoning which induced Podgers to come to the logical conclusion that the Pink Pamphlet and the pink pamphlet only was to blame. ITe thought also of what his strong-minded wife would say when she heard of his mishap ; bow she would " blow him up" and otherwise abuse him. On the whole, he considered himself a fool, and with this reflection he anxiously wished that they had arrived at'the Railway Stoker. The mild looking detective and Podgers were not long in jumping out of the cab, whenit drew up opposite the glaring tap room of the Railway Stoker. Podgera was for rushing violently into the house, but the mild looking detective held him back. " Now, Sir, please leave it to me, I knows much better how to work these little games ; we must go to work quietly. Just point out to me the young woman which took your carpet bag, and leave the rest to me." Podgers did as requested, and the mild looking Detective the blooming tapstress, and politely asked her how she was. The young lady was very well, she assured him ; " what would he take to drink." " Why, Miss, I think port wine ne^urs isn't bad for gent's or ladies, partickler if there's a nice parlor to drink it in and a pretty girl (like you say, Miss) to bring it. " Lor. Sir ! how you talk, but as you're ?o perlite, we have a very nice parlor, and if so be as you wouldn't object, I'll bring you some port wine negus too." Accordingly, the mild looking Detective walked into the snug parlor mentioned, and presently the blooming young lady took him some port wine " negurs." What took place during the five whole minutes that the door of the snug parlor was shut, I know not, nor could Podgars tel l , and he was fast becoming convinced that the mild looking Detective was otherwise engaged than attending to his business, when the door again opened, and the Detective walked out with a gleam of satisfaction on his face. Winking confidentially to the young" lady and saying to Podgers that it was all right, he began to tell him what he had learnt as to the fate of the carpet bag. "Exactly what I suspected sir, just so. Beaming Jim has been here and has got your carpet bag." Polgers was floored, he was ruined and he was no longer a Landed Proprietor, nor fit to be the Father of a Fam'ly. He was just gomg to burst out into a volume of self-reproach, when the mild-looking party said, " But he hasn't got the money sir, nor anything else worth the taking, thanks to your carelessness and the cleverness of Miss Smirk, which she certainly is a stunner. When you went away Sir, after giving her your bag, in course she was curious like, as most women is, and examined it, when she found that you had filled it so full with things, Sir, that the staple had come loose and the lock was unfastened. Well, Sir, woman-like, she looked in, and the very first thing as she saw was your purse with ever-so much money in it. Of course the young woman put it back all right, and placed your bag all safe. When Beaming Jim came to the Railway Stoker, she kinder suspected his game, for he asked all sorts of questions about you and then handed her the receipt for the bag, saying you was his brother, and had wished him to call. But Mi^s Smith is a sharp on\ and no mistake^ she gave him the ban, but took out all your money and thing?, and filled it with an old horse-rug ; and Beaming Jim went away with it quite jolly. Here is your money, sir, and if you don't give that stunning girl— well, I won't say what — you don't deserve to have it. And now, sir, as you have cot your money all safe, its not much use looking longer after Beaming Jim, I shall catch him some of these fine days ; I'm going to drop in permiscuous-like to one of his haunts to-night, and you may hear of your other things again ; meantime, I shouldn't object to another glass of port wine negurs in the snug parlor. Bring in two glasss Miss, and one for yonrself." (To be continued.)

In a crowded neighborhood an enterprising barber has placed a notice in his shop to the following effect : — " In consequence of the repeal of the paper duty, gentlemen can be shaved, washed, and have a new collar for 2d,"— Court Journal.

An Irishman, hearing of another who was a hundred years old, said, contemptuously, — " Pshaw ! Why, if my grandfather was alivo, he would now be a hundred and fifty years old !" "

"Pa," said a lai to hia father, " I often real of people poor but honest ; why don't thoy sometim°s say rich but honest ?" " Tut, tut, my son," replied the father, "nobody would believe them."

The gorilla quarrel is ended by the reception of the gorilla into the British Museum. But to this triumph of M. dv Chaillu'a is added another, namely the receipt of a cane liarp from India. The strings ara only slips of cane, and sound well, so. that an answer is given to the remark that strings of any other substance than catgut and metal vill »ot emit sound- .