WIT AND HUMOUR

Opunake Times, 28 February 1933, Page 1

WIT AND HUMOUR

Family Traits: Tommy has his father's mouth, his mother's eves, and his brother's trousers.

She: “Flies are very troublesome this hot weather." He: “Yes, someone ouglil to show what’s swat.”

Judge: “But, madam, how could you marry a man you knew to be a burglar.” Witness: “Oh, I thought he’d be so quiet about the house.”

Husband: “Going to church, eh! To show your new furs, I suppose”’

Wife: “Xo dear, to show every body what a generous hubby I’ve got.'”

Fishmonger: “Lobsters, madam, nice lobsters? Look, they’re all alive.” She: “Yes, but are they fresh

Airs. Brown: “I saw Alary kissing the milkman this morning.

Air. Brown: “Good heavens! Wasting time on him, when we owe the grocer five pounds.”

A young Irish couple had started housekeeping for some time in the village fcf K -. whose married life was not without a few ‘squalls,’ which very much annoyed their peaceful neighbours. One fine day, after a row bad subsided, they received a call from their spiritual adviser, who delivered a homely lecture regarding their disgraceful quarrels. His Eeverencc: “Murphy, that cat and dog you see lying on the hearthstone agree better than you” The reply came with force and vigour that was astonishing, and fairly staggered his reverence. “If yer riverence ’ll toie them tigether, ye’ll purty soon change yer nioind. so yer will.”