Mark Twain on Prohibition.

Opunake Times, Volume III, Issue 147, 29 November 1895, Page 2

Mark Twain on Prohibition.

Last week Mark Twain was entertained at dinner by the Christcliurch Savage Club. Here is an extract from his speecb in reply to the toast of the evening :—We have had a good time these last few days, and have felt what a good time Ghristchurch must have been having to. You never had such opportunities for enlightment before. Your have had the circus. (Laughter.) That was spectacular. You have had Mr Haskett Smith—imagination—and you have 1 had my well beloved friend and shipmate, Michael—Davitt philosophy. And then you have had me—cold fact. (Loud laughter.) We are all fading away one by one. Haskett Smith has gone, Michael Davitt has gone. I leave to-morrow, and you have nothing left but the circrs. Be grateful for the opportunities you have —hang on to that circus. I observe in this region a spirit which I do greatly approve. That is the spirit which is leading us gradually and surely along to Prohibition. Ido not see any signs of it here. (Laughter.) It is coming and let us welcome it. I can tell one thing—that is, if you get it you will tind it will put you into most difficult straits. In our country several years ago there, was a man came into a prohibition town, a man like you savages here, and they said to him, " You can't get a driuk anywhere except at, the apothecary's." So he went to the apothecary, who said " You can't get a drink without a prescription : " but the man said, " I'm perishing—l haven't time to get a prescription." The apothecary replied, " \Vell, I haven't power to give you a drink except for snake bite." The man said, " Where's the snake ? " (Laughter.) So the apotecary gave him the snake's address, and he went off. Soon after, however, lie came back and said, " For goodness' sake, give me a drink. That snake is engaged for six mouths ahead." (Loud laughter.)