NEWSY NOTES.

Ohinemuri Gazette, Volume I, Issue 50, 26 November 1892, Page 2

NEWSY NOTES.

Says the '' Bulletin" :— Eugene O'Oonor, betfcnr known as " the Buller ' Lion," is a descendant of Iriph kings who adorns M.Wiland Parliament. Eugene is a " pretty figure of a man," but his two eyes aren't act to the same' focus. -He was tackled at *a menting by a voluble countrywoman: " Y<>u-won't-dar look me straight in the face aud say that agin, said she. "My good woman," was'the reply, delivered in the blandest tone, "I'd — give £50 this minute to be able to 'do . that isame \'\ The other,.day, in .the 1 House, Jddcaoa Palmer, a youthful legislator noted mainly for the variety • of his ■ immaculate " spats," k in'tro^ *" duced 'his " Dpoea=ed Husband's Brofhor'BilK" "Would the honorable ;- gentleman kindly let the House knoTr something about his-'Brother Bill-?' I don't know him." was Eugene's apologetic interrogation,, which effectually killed the Bill "and gave its parent a -'nick-name ■ which has stuck. If this isn't true it ought'to^-be.

# The " Bulletin"" seerr-s; :to '■ kno<f '' heap* about our great New Zealand -stafesrafu It says :—" Dick" Soddon, fhe Mroriland Minister* "'for ' Mines';! Defence. % Marine, and Public W^rks, and one of the <l strong men" -ol Manriland Parliament, is a sttong-man in sever^l-sunseg.- Dick has-foUowed many avocation?. , At -one* time te was keeping a small* store on a-West Const goldfiuld, wlWe -there w°re no roads or telegraphs arid communication was slow.' A local'contractor >tan' u-p - a score of £50 at the store and then lova-torl. 'Dick heara of his fligat," fiilfd a knaiisick with provisions,' arid strirt^d across country . after_ 'him, walking; right on for 80 miles over'the ' irnges unu'll he overtook" his man. The 1 contractor was bumptious arid ' wouldM Jt pHV, -j-nd the 1 future Minister doflr> d knansick and.coat, and '" took ' £50 worth" out of the defaulter's hide, f 'cilmlv setting off to tra.np back home af<-pr the trouble af peace with -the world Dick's fighting instincts iare nnmotimps" too mur'h for him now. Standing np r in')iiß'plAf>e the other day ' las Apring-P emipr, he was protesting •nppiinst a prn!f)n£P'i' stonewall, when a m- mber of the OpDoxitionr-mflde an nffcnsivp ppranna) 'remark >sotto voce. ''ho li'-hfc of ' battle came info, the Minister'" pye at once, nod he rapped n\V : *'If fhp't'rem'irk were raa'de to nrip ontide,-I would,-put, that, hon. member into'a condition in which he wnld npv^r make n_n<>'her." t The word^'WPrp "taken down," the'bpllic(is° TVfinistpr had to' leave the chamber and there -was a terrible to-do bnfore he was whitewashed and allowed to rpturn to his place as leader of the House. - --- ■ * A gPEts of fhe difftirent'rpfrac'^orv-oro procf^ses .-ire issuing nonsensic 1 challepffp^ to ea'-h —othpr One man throafpn* a £10,000 wag'Pr aa soon as his machinei.y 'arrives.} I) »r the fame; reason they will n^ver mcct —iho conditions that might -suit'one mif?ht. be disnrivantagpous to another. Australia is being inundate j with-n^w and wondprful gold-saving inventions. The everlasting din of,-" rfifrectory -ores,''/ " cold lost in the tailings," has had its pff^ct. The great want is gold in^the oie. - , _ * Ba'pn Tlir>oil's 'Jewish ' colgny in Argentina is abeadv.-on ■ the « down--grade. When the emigrant's arrived the land^-wak thpre'a'll right, hut-thatf-was all. Evpry man w^B/piesented ■with an unlovely hunk of plain and,a spade, and' leftfW' shift "for" "hi'inVlf anyhow'-he could. ' There 1, was no,fod'd to keep the settlement' going"; '.there was no seed,' and the ground'wasn't .'fit for agriculture "in' any case, and 'the ' colonistSTvefp hot agriculturists. x.Tlien * various epidemics broke put,'and some 'of the community'die'd "of huns;f<r; and.. l some wanted '*id^brain/Hirscti's" rlis-' ' 'tracted agents"arid" at latest? advices"" all was confusion and insurrection. # * An English paper has unpaTthed tlie following from the prayer-book of the

Established Church of 300 years, ago : f-r'* We heartily pray Thee to* send , Jhy holy spirit into the hearts of them I o >that possess the grounds, pastures, and ,'dwelling-places on the earth; that . £ 'they, remembeiing themselves to be , Thy tenants, may not rack and stretch ?out the rents of their houses and lands; >nor yet 'take unreasonable fines and , incomes, after the manner of covetous worldlings; but so let them out to /others that the inhabitants thereof <imav be aWe to pay the-rents and also ■honestly to live, to nourish their and to relieve 'the poor " *

ju A 'misguided man named Darcy '.wandered -into the kitchen at St. Presbytery, Oarlton, Melb,, ithe other day, and after taking off all ihis * clothes he squatted in a corner. ;He> -subsequently explained that 'his clothes were red-hot and he had taken tthem off to cool. He also believed Ithati.tho devils was after him, but thought he .would''be safe near the '.church. He was remanded for mediual ltre^tment. - There'can Wno question ■ribout 'the mental condition of fWman riwho thinks to avoid the-devil by eroine to dhurch. * b * v > -%* ' ' > : Si*'George Grey is the oldest living member of the 'Order of the Bath ((K.C.8.). He'was decorated in 1846. c^ -A^ Uimberlgetter 'told a newlchum in a Brisbane Court (he other "day, that h& had loaded a 60ft. jog. (Astonished) :- IDo you mean to tell' me tfou -loaded -it?" "Ya-as!" f(Astoandejd) : A "60ft. log-? " " Ta-as ! " <CBreathless) : "By yourself ?" "Coursil" "\Do you 'mean 1 to tell me you loaded a' 60ft. log without assis'tanco ?" " Waal, 'there' 'was the jinker!" " Ha! T thon^ht so. 1 That will do—stand aside. Now call • the jinker.' "

" ' ' %*■ ' -Many good stories 1 are (old of T. S. JWes+on, lawyer, of the South of New "Zealand. 'Defending a soiled dove before --an !RM. once, he -said, "You know, your 'Worship, these ladies always receive gifts of-money;" when''he was sharply pulled up with, "You mayknow, - sir; IZhave only been credibly informed " .'■ - .... * * IThere^aWvanßus wTia^uraours^aboilt ~as to the terms upon w r hich T^ G t harle^[' -^ltjlMa to ; Lafairipf Madame ■ ba^but sthe^^B:^rig^r'oo % *«wtiSldi sappofse^^ 1; la J;inom|ntlth^t'l','hg- ;- "wqute^aa^e ■spjepulationl " offu6h Wth!in^ ;;^-the^way,!ij;;^^pE sgeneraia^^kh'bWn Messrs-'^f; 'm "Walker and James~^or|fa'in h SFthisipjace; s.ar&^relaied'to'-Mfl'daicae^Meiba.. '!'

"It H|dltriosfc incredible that§ia||j^e! tree can||^ cut down and conver|^(|;ftito j paper %ithiin the -space ;of twenty-two hours, yet thaPis^the 'record 'tiiade by 'the tf ljs&coi;ds 'I^tppk p!qp!^rlwood|j|^ki sing^3^oyo?poan^bfbVnK 'paper; to, • make(O;n#edliti(}n;ksflJlSoiooo:copies; bf 1 twelve-page, paper. - o -

Paris, the cable -tells -has 1 outdone "Wh£techapel in J imujilative'CrirneiOoo?he! bodj!?6f «j iin;«an unfinished 'buildings cut 'into.!!t2> pieces. nmagination-here'Btands aghast. There|may:be e^enaatingjCircumstanjceSf; " The^urdJ?red^oman)niay^^ 'hetf^u^t^^ th^jmucderer.hyghej «njay?h'ayenn^igledl,-s'nim"' intQtherjiionse. -and^ed him on home-maHe pie. She ■'may^hav^tieep;|his and 4i endpwe t d 1 with^i^nverski iMi^^oymik^M^ np mean - orderi r; should; "Uot'be 1 out'into^morel two• pieces. ~tß&7n Pliorimer editor • os'*lMs "MeiKournelf^iSpectatbr>" 'isJ a^'l WMi welit!ia!^ •' considerable !o^a%umorist;'! ©c edits 1 itheijpaperjwitfe)hisjeoat^and^oats off,' > andfeiipa -great/hbig/itold lwjpjitii ififAhi^ mouth. . 'He relatesrtllatjyjust;:■'befdre!: this ordination, he was sent for 'by the! ' board of examiners. \¥* Mr ,Wson,| yourjpapers ire?exeellenjc, biitithere, jis ; -one thiiJg;we bbject^''/ pis'on asked Mirhat*it " Sfou are addicted, Mr WdBOUf -to the eyil diabitvCii -smoking." J

Pison explained that 'he saw no 'evil in it, but, taking a large plug from his pocket, said, " In deference to your opinion, gentlemen, I promise you this. As soon as I have smoked the plug I hold in my hand, I will cease: smoking for ever." They were satisfied, and Tie was ordained next day. But, as he re-fills the big pipe, hei chuckles and tells you:: "I've !kept my word. I've got that very iplug, yet:i" ' '"■; :