PASSING NOTES.

Ohinemuri Gazette, Volume I, Issue 48, 12 November 1892, Page 2

PASSING NOTES.

,5 Dives, J.P., having had a 'gootl ' Ions; innings, is about to be replaced, by'Lazirus. We are in for mod that it ■is the intention of the Government to appoint two " Labour" Justices of tho Peace in each centre of population. Of course, emanating from v "Liberal" Ministry, this cannot possibly be a •matter of class. Still the information is a little vague. What is meant by a "Labour" 'Justice of the 'Peace.'? Will these be chosen, not on account of their perspicuity and knowledge of the law which' they will be called upon to administer, or simply because they are smart with the trowel or saw or run a Coalheavers' or Scavengers' Union. * * No doubt there are numbers of men, more especially in the Colonies, working with their hands, who are higbly intellectual and fit for good -positions. But, is it from this class that these new J.Ps. will be chosen ? , 'We rtrow not. The agitator, the demagogue, and the Socialist. These be your new ' gods! Anyhow the office is daily 'degrading, and if the claim' to it.is, to. be based explicitly, on all that is mr eluded in the latter day meaning of the word "Labour,'! then . the Conservative drunks are likely to have a bad time of it shorily. « » . Democracy for ever!. But a true and not a false democracy. 'John Stuart Mili, that eluar-headed philosopher, points out the difference 'between these. A true democracy, according to him, desires to-obtain ifcs just share in the Government of a country, and no more than .its just share, while the' false' deraocraoy wishes to hold the entire power, excluding all the other constituent purts of the community. The present New Zealand Government is a fair example of the former. It is a "'Toe Yictis" Government. "The spoils to the Conquerors," a b,td imitation of the vile party system, which is the canker fipot in thf> otherwise perfect constitution of the Ui'it"d Suites of America. Our officials; our Peers; our Justices!! Everything—everyone must be of th« right colour or he may bo fair prey for the majority. * „* The Majority ! ? Have the Government the 'majority with them—the majoi-ity of the- nation 1? Nay v they have not, —nor indeed has any Government of any CJounly or Colony—nor could they h^ve, under the present system of representation. A true reflfix/of public opinion in the L^gislative body, can only be obtained under a system of Proportional Representation. ' This is the only true democratic method, the only fair manner ie which every man with a vote can feel that- he. has, however small, a voice in his own Government. * The daughter of a Mormon bishop has eloped with a pugilist. :Herbert "'l.'de (late of New Zwaland), known txs ' the Maori.' She is the only child of Bishop John Sneazly, autocrdt, of Mova, a town about one hundred miles from Salt Lake, Being pretty, as well as an heiress, she was ,a great belle. But she fell in love with the 'slugger,' and, though,she was "kept ■under lock and key, when her infatuation become known, they managed to escape "paternal vigilance and fled twenty miles to a'justice of the ,peace, who made them one. This is what public morality is coming to at last. Mr Bank Manager has ijust" invited his head-accountant into the B\veating--roona, and to him 1 sternly says : " Mr, Lightfingers, you ' have been twenty years in the bank's omploy, and 'I am sorry to say you are more than suspected of .having systematically robbed us. for a.very •considerable period indeed. , The evidence against you is conclusive. You can take a fortnight's leave of absence ' now, and I shall expect your, res gnation at the end of that time. There aro too many men. of your \ittm.p in gaol already, and, beside^

« the exposure of a trial might lead to a >run on the bank. Therefore, we - make a virtue of necessity, and allow you to clear off." Mr Lightfingers : "*"" You are very kind, indeed, sir ; may 11 ask one favour before Igo ?" " You - may." •• Well, I wish you would tell ► me where v I can buy a few- hundred of the bank's shares. I've a devil of - a^lot of money' lyings idle by earning .4 nothing, and, knowing that you will i keep a stricter -watch on your officers 1 now,* I think your bank will be a very .- sound investment. Pick'me up 500 .shares, and I'll stand you something /handsome."

lf The versatile" Prof r or" Clampett, while travelling Tasmania as a voc list and pug., one night rested at the ;|' camp"-kept by<one Webb, a~noted , j joker. .The professor's reputation as ■:» vocalist having reached the camp, ( Webb invited the nearest road-gang to drop in and feast thefrjears on the warbling of the "prof." In th© course - ofrthe evening, Webb ashed the guest Bing some' Bongs in the bar "among the lads, who never near anything up . here,-yen know." Olampett sang ac* , cordingly.' 'Next morning the depart- . ing songster asked for his bill; which ,was > promptly • rendered. A few moments l the professor t handed the bill back to the astounded humourist, endorsed:—"To singing ' two songs and entert imng Jss-, (Webb's hill was the same amount.) Reed/ settlement by «ccom- • inodation." >Webb tried' to r laugh it . off/ 1 but the professor was v adamant, and left at once'by the coach. By the way, 'it is not so widely I known as it deserves to be, that Paeroa was the first New Zealand town struck i by,the, immortal Olampett. - i *„* "The 'truttkfl of a new churn were ' lately detained in a Wellington hotel as security for the high-collared one's > unpaid bill. * When they were opened, after many days, thpy proved to be full of beads, penny dolls, and brass jewellery, which he had brought out from 'Ome to exchange with fthe i natives for land. The " native,"' in the Briton's vocabulary, is the saroe naked and simple ass to the end of time, and whenever Johnny Bull heais ■ of an aboriginal anywhere he at once decides that a Denny doll and a braes ioe ring «re 'the things which that aboriginal will swap his soul for. He never met Paul'or Hone Hetnara, this < man* however. r v Here is what Gibbon, the historian, \ has to, say about that holy man ' Ge6rge(of Saints Michael and George): "..George, from his parents or his • education surnamed the Oappadocian, was born, at Epiphania.in Ciiicia in a . fuller's shop. \ From this obscure and •Srvile origin he raised himself by tlie talents of aparasite; and the patrons '■•whom he, assiduously flattered *ppb- - cured for their worthless dependent a lucrative commission or contract to supply ,the army with bacon. He accumulated wealth by t-'^e basest arts of fraud and corruption^ but his mal- ■ versations were- so notorious ' that ' Georg^ was compelled escape' from the pursuit of justice. After this diegrace, in^ which he appears to' have saved his fortune at the expense of his honour, he embraced with real or - affected zeal the • profession of Arianiem." And so on. Who' Wouldn't ibea.:K.C.M.G-? 1 -„- V - f^Says '<the '"Bulletin" :— " Talking r about hot weather 1 dances, if we could i only- come out in > the airy twilight - ascribed to a 1 Brisbane belle at a recent I Banana ball, I'm sure we could all • dance right* through the dog days. - Her description .doesn't take more than a line—" Miss , a tasteful salmon pink Bash." That's all; and from th« simple admiration expressed by the reporter, one gathers that the lady \ was, the belle of the evening." ' 'r. ■ V This is the way they work the J.P. ibiz. ,6n the other, side. A Sydney paper has as'follows :—"New local discovered, old -boy," said jJones to Smith on the block*-the-rother

day, "proceeds all go-to consolidated revenue, too." "Glad to^hear if," answered Smith, "»What is the line.". " Making- J.Ps. and charging them .£1 6a each for fee on being sworn in. There were 708 in the last batch, and | at 26 bob ahead the Treasury scoops Jn~£92o odd:^., ;^^%,3ovej thaVs;^ good idea7"j Smith! exclaimed, f.« hete'sj a better one; though. > Put the title vp 1 to auction, and charge the; fee, too. Lot's of men 1 know-would buy at a good price." We note that Sydney " Truth," a society f,journal, collared .our '< Luck that came too - late" >;holus bolus, without one word • of «cknoTrledgement, in their issue of October 30th. [