Topics of The Times

Otago Daily Times, Issue 26290, 23 October 1946, Page 6

Topics of The Times

by Hydra.

The burst of laughter which usually follows a public statement that has an unintentional double meaning may be taken as an indication of the quickness of audiences to appreciate the discomfiture of the speaker on such occasions. There is, however, no indication that a presumably intelligent Christchurch audience grasped the full implication of a statement which was recorded in a local newspaper: "You have your Charles Upham. Nelson College have their Rutherford, we have our Kippenberger,” said Mr V. G. Hill, at the annual dinner of the Christ’s College Old Boys’ Association. Mr Hill, an old boy of the Christchurch Boys’ High School, was replying to the toast, “ Kindred Associations.” " We've all got our old boys of whom we’re proud,” he continued: ” but the main object of our schools is to turn out decent citizens.”

It is not more than a few days since Mr Churchill, so long acclaimed as the saviour of the Empire, was publicly described as “ that wicked man,” but it is not on record that he displayed any resentment. In the, circumstances we feel that General Kippenberger and Captain Upham, even if they may lgck the resilience of the politician, may well bear in mind the influences at work at old boys’ dinners and overlook the speaker's apparent insinuation.

There is probably no more certain way of picking the non-car owner from the car owner than by watching people as they close car doors. The car owner, even if he has passed the first fine flush of pride of ownership, takes it easy. For one thing, he knows that the doors will just about shut themselves, and for another, it is his car. and he doesn’t want it bashed about. But the casual passenger climbs out, winds himself up like a baseball pitcher all set to send a whizzer down the alley, and lets fly_Wham—and let the glass fall where it may. More beautiful friendships have been shattered with a careless slam than we care to think about.

A suggestion in the periodic dickering on the immigration question that many of the, now growrt-up, children who came to New Zealand for safety from the Old Country during the war will want to return here brings to mind the cheering story of a local cleric and his wife, and the little London problem child they harboured for some years. She was an attractive youngster, but cast in a toughish mould. One hot summers day she was bathed and sent off to school. At lunch-time she arrived home hot and dusty and was smartly popped into another bath. The same thing happened after the post-school playtime, She was hot and grimy, so she went into the bath. Came the hour for bed and the thoughtful foster-mother suggested a fourth and final freshen-up in the tub. The child surveyed the cleric’s wife with wry resignation. “ Mrs So-and-so” she commented, “what you wanted wasn’t a little girl—it was a blooming duck!”

As periodic and begrudging contributors to the country's purse, we feel ourselves entitled to utter a modest, even if ineffectual, squawk on occasions as to the methods whereby our hard-earned dubloons are spent. . We happened to be clumping along . Princes street in our old army boots • the other afternoon when a large car bearing (a) the Prime Minister, and (b) Government number plates, whiz- - zed past. Now, as' we heard the story, Mr Fraser was visiting the city • not on business of national import but ' simply to beat the big drum on behalf s of the Labour Party’s campaign. Why, we queried ourselves, should we have to foot the bill for the doubtful pleasure of having the opportunity of hearing Mr Fraser talk? In the modest Utopia of which we sometimes dream, there would be no politicians. And if there were, the completion of the final pre-election session would see all politicians revert to the ranks. In other words, they would become officially ‘ that which they are in fact—hopeful ’ citizens endeavouring. to persuade their fellow citizens to elevate them back into one of the sweetest jobs offering. In that case, the respective parties would pay for their own candidates’ transport, and supply it.