UNFITS FIRST

Otago Daily Times, Issue 23221, 19 June 1937, Page 19

UNFITS FIRST

By Jeremy Claptrap

Insidious are the proposals of medical legislation. They all sound so reasonable, so good and Christian, and after all we must make a higher humane standard in 1937 than we did in 1936. Why should anyone pay for being ill? The affliction itself is enough, Yes, we must have a general levy, and the well and hearty must consider it a privilege to pay for the sick and ailingIt is, perhaps, unfortunate that our legislators have overlooked that all too prevalent, but unrecognised disease—the invalid mind, that extraordinary contraption that glorifies in illness and delights in doctors. An incredibly large number of people feel that it is well worth while having a few odds and ends chopped off if it means becoming the most important member of the family, a centre of interest in the neighbourhood, and the recipient of unlimited attention from doctors and nurses. Besides, unlike most -other amusements, you can enjoy it all your life. It may be necessary to give up football and tennis when the years are adding up, but operations are a sport that can be played by any age! Although one must deprecate the primitive desire to get what one pays for, yet it seems more than likely that every New Zealander will endeavour to get at least $lO of medical attention per annum. Of course, the enterprising will go further and have their whole insides removed or replaced, and the country will teem with fascinating new diseases and original operations. This self-sacrificing spirit is reminiscent of the Crusades and Inquisition when people threw themselves with such enthusiasm into the course of destruction.

It is not hard to anticipate the Government’s pleasure in the result. There will be such smug self-satis-faction in the spectacle of all those people who had previously suffered (quite unknown to themselves and others) now being restored to health. They will look back with horror on the dark ages when people walked round imagining they were perfectly well when there was at least eight operations they could have had. One can almost see the newspaper headings—- “ New Zealand Leads the World Once More,” “ New Diseases Discovered Every Day,” “ Synthetic 'Parts in Use Everywhere.” Personally I have only one tiny worry—are the doctors themselves equal to the occasion? It is no use their thinking that their old diagnoses and operations are going to satisfy a public thirsting for novelty. People who, up to date, have had any surplus in their insides removed, will be content with nothing less than spinal column extraction when they don’t have to pay for it. Definitely the medical profession will have to use imagination and resource if it is going to keep pace with pedical legislation and public zest. We have been brought up with the idea that incurables, mental deficients, and all other sorts of deficients are quite the most interesting id most important people in the world; but in future they will be the only people. The Victorians found it out long ago—that to be well and healthy was just a little crude. Today we excuse our care for mental and physical wrecks by saying that their chemistry is different from ours, and that is is not their fault, etc., but soon we shall be pitying the man who has nothing wrong with him, and deploring the lack of initiative that prevents him from taking advantage of a Government service. , Probably in the general rush the doctors will be grossly over-worked, and although it is expected that the wider scope will give an extra fillip to the numbers at the medical schools, yet it may even be necessary to call in a few sustenance men (with proper award for a high basic wage) to help swell the ranks. This is the most cheerful view of the situation, it will give employment to so many not only in the profession but in the manufacture of all the gadgets and appliances so dear to the heart of an invalid.

So we blandly follow our politicians, and if sometimes we feel that all is not well, we build a new hospital which is guaranteed to smother under a welter of Christian principles any doubts that we may have had as to whether we are proceeding in the right direction. It is disquieting, however, to consider what may happen in the future. If politicians now say that nt one should pay for the disgrace of being ill, and the people who are il* are quite the most important section of the community, should not disease and illness be made a profession? After six operations a person should automatically be employed by the State at a high figure for his service in the public interest, and invalids with less initiative should at least have a retaining fee. When I next have a cold it will not be sufficient for me to call in my doctor, a trained nurse, and specialist for consultation; but I shall also expect the Government to pay me sixpence a sneeze!