OUR BABIES

Otago Daily Times, Issue 23046, 24 November 1936, Page 15

OUR BABIES

By Htgeia. Published under the auspices of the Royal New Zealand Society for tn» Health of Women and Children (Plunhet Society). " It is wiser to put up a fence at the top of a precipice than to maintain an ambulance at the bottom.”, THE OBEDIENT CHILD The first part of this article, taken from the English journal, Mother and Child,” was published last week. To-day we are giving the concluding part of the address. MEAN WHAT YOU SAY. It is most important that parents should mean what they say in dealing with their children, and that the children should know this. It is worse than useless to allow a chad to do something one day and punish him for doing the very same thing next day. How is he to know what to expect? Last week mother did not allow him tc play out on the street, but one day the week before she did. Naturally, being a clever, reasonable child, he thinks he will risk it again. Mother may not punish him. Bribes and threats are wrong means of teaching a child to obey. _ If you tell a child that you will give him something nice if he does what you ask, you are bribing him, and befpre long you will find he will do nothing unless he gets something out of it. Very few of the parents who threaten their children mean what they say. A mother may say to her naughty child: “I will ask the policeman to come and take you to gaol. She knows it is not true. At first her threat frightens the child; then he learns that it is not true, ana <efore long he takes no notice. Threats may turn him into a coward: every mother who wants her child to be brave should avoid then. On the other hand, if the threats are never carried out the child may grow n* different. It is best never to threaten. Children do not obey people whom they cannot trust, and parents who break promises to their children cannot expect to be trusted or obeyed by their children, . Here is another point. When your child is not obedient do you become angry and raise your voice? That excites the child, and some children like such excitement very much. They will even do things they know are naughty just for the sake of seeing mother lose her temper. If parents can manage not to get angry they will find it much easier to teach their children to be obedient. Loud talking is a strain to listen to, and > bad both for children and for grown-ups. It makes the home noisy; noise makes everyone in the home nervous and irritable. Parerits who always speak quietly find that their children will listen to them more willingly. BE REASONABLE.

A toddler’s doings, which seem so trivial to many grown-ups, are really very important indeed to him; and the things that grown-ups think so very important mean nothing at all to rum. He does not think, for example, it is important to give up his play and come to dinner as soon as he is called. It is a good plan to allow the child a few minutes to finish what he is doing before you expect him to obey a command. Let him have five minutes’ grace before mealtime and before bedtime, for instance. There are some things little children really cannot do, and yet they are often asked to do them—for instance, to =it still for a long time, to keep from making a noise for a long time. It is not fair to expect little children to do these things, which adults can. of course, do quite easily. The child s muscles are too busy growing to allow him to sit still for .a long time. They need constant exercise—by wriggling and other means which sometimes annoy tired mothers—in order to grow. Only an adult, whose muscles have reached their final stage of growth, can discipline his muscles so that he can sit still for a long time. And making a noise is a part of the business of growing. _ The toddlers chattering and shouting are just as important to healthy growth as is the lusty crying of the healthy infant. It is not really hard to teach a child to obey the firs* time you speak, .f you always quietly never angrily: if you let the child find, by experience, that everything is pleasant when he takes notice quickly, but not so pleasant if he does not obey. When the little child is good and obedient it is right for mother to show that she is pleased to allow some little TEACHING CHILDREN TO THINK FOR THEMSELVES. If people are to be happy when they grow up they must have learned to obey certain rules when they were children; but they must have learned to think for themselves. Children must be taught to think for themselves what is right for them to do. There are children who never do anything by themselves. They never think for themselves, They have to wait until someone tells them what to do. When they grow up they are very unhappy because they cannot be_ independent. Let us teach our children to think for themselves —encourage them when they plan to do things without help when they attempt to fasten their own shoes, to put on their own socks to do up their buttons, to wash their faces. They may seem to be getting on very slowly. It takes time to. let them make the effort to help themselves, but try to be patient while they accomplish what they are trying to do. Praise them for trying to help themselves. It will be all the better for them if they learn to be independent, and in the lona run all the better for mother.