“DEAD EMBERS OF LOVE”

Otago Daily Times, Issue 20610, 8 January 1929, Page 13

“DEAD EMBERS OF LOVE”

: MANNERS OF THE MARRIED. < It iff a’ tragic thing-that ever year the' divorce lists seem to become larger, and' marriage admittedly more difficult to pall, off successfully. There are far too many who make fiascos of it. - Looking around upon -my friends (writes Ursula sßloonu novelist, inthe _ London Daily Malt), 1 can. truthfully say. that I know of only throe Happy marriages. It is rather an appalling thought. ; Something is wrong with-it;-or ns,,and- in. my, opinion the shockingly had manners of the married are to blame. Marriage seems-to offer itself as .an-excuse for bad manners, and while this goes on how can it be a .succors? Ho reads; the paper-at breakfast; he would, never have done it in their, engaged days, or now if the merest acquaintance were staying with them; but it's only his wife, so it doesn’t matter. ' : She ; docs not change at night when they are alone. Why should she trouble, it’s only her husband. ' They make a point oi telling each other their faults; they are unforgivably personal, about little defects—and phrases; once employed have a nasty habit of sticking in one’s memory. In the engaged days when they met each ttrove to entertain the other: conversation was bright; they endeavoured to he amusing, each to attract. But once married, why bother? .Every, now and then, when somebodjr else drops in, they make the effort, but it becomes more and-more, difficult.; Gradually the art of attraction ruutn away. They, arrive at that 'pitch when they ; deliberately' laugh at each other before their friends; they labour,-under, the delusion that they are being clever. It is always so easy to be witty at' the expense of manners, but it is also the lowest and crudest form of humour, . Last of .'all comes the realisation chat they .have made a failure of life’s greatest, adventure. There is no retracting. It is Impossible to , fan, to fire the once-dead embers’of love. The Victorians, wEo certainly made more of a success of marriage than-we do went to the other extreme, They called, each other sir and madame, they were politeness personified; they perhaps carried it top far. But- there is a. lesson they can'teach, us. We want jnore happy marriages. We want more manners for the married;