THE ART OF THE BORE.

Otago Daily Times, Issue 20087, 2 May 1927, Page 11

THE ART OF THE BORE.

“I should prefer to be called a hypocrite, a fool, or a knave rather than a bore.’ I have tried, for my own guid. ace, to tabulate a few general rules to avoid catching a disease that is, alas, contagious,” says a writer in the Atlantic Monthly. “The first essential is to talk too little rather than too much. Second, ayoid detail. A sketch may be crude, inaccurate, and badly executed, but it is not boring. Cromwell’s ‘ wart and all theory should never be applied in conversation, in which the quality of selection is of its very essence. Third, if ou must tell a story—and please don’t do so if vou can help it —never imitate the mannerisms of intonations of the people you arc describing. “Fourthly, look interested, and, if possible, be interested in what other people say. Do not let your eyes or your attention wander. A good listener is never a bore. Wc cannot all handle foils with skill, but we can all toss back the conversational ball when it is thrown at us, and it should be tossed back lightly—not hurled in the face of our opponent, who should he regarded as a partner in the social game rather than as an antagonist. •' For those who like positive and affirmative rules, I append the recipe for making a bore's head. “Take a mass of unleavened egotism. Chop a cupful of trite conversational chestnuts into small pieces, shells and all. Add a quart of dry facts, from which the juice of humour has been extracted, and n cupful of dates, stuffed with statistics. Stir in—very slowly—a pint of personal anecdote from which all imagination has been strained. “ Flavour with the essence of complete indifference to anybody’s taste but your own. “ Pour into a mould stamped with your own image, and turn on to a platter garnished with plenty of thyme. “This dish has frequently appeared at social functions of the rich and great. “ I have given you the rules—it is for you to avoid following them."