NOTES FOR WOMEN.

Otago Daily Times, Issue 19736, 12 March 1926, Page 15

NOTES FOR WOMEN.

By Phillida. (Continued from page 14.) YOUR MEN AND YOUR MANNERS. It isn’t your fault, Evo darling! (writes Noel Coward in an open letter to women). You don’t quite understand what modern man expects of modern woman. He usually succeeds in making himself as clear as mud when talking to you, especially when throwing out gentle hints to you. You learned in the Great War that we needed your help in many ways and you have gone on trying to beat us at our own game ever since. Some of you have cropped your hair and are wearing monocles. Some of you are only concerned with your sports or your intellectual progress, while ti certain section of femininity remains purely feminine. Unfortunately, the rougish, coy, or ingenue pose is adopted by the plain and dowdy woman who stands about as much chance of social success as a celluloid doll i Hell; and the hail-fellow-well-met-no-nonse-about-me attitude is assumed by the pretty woman who could be perfectly adorable if she wanted to. It is all a trifle disconcerting. The trouble is that you’ve got ns 'wrong at heart; you don’t know that both the highbrow and the sporting pal type of woman leave a man’s deeper needs untouched. What he wants a woman to bo is his complement, not his echo. Personally, I rather like clever women, so long as they take pains to conceal, rather than to reveal, their brains in the presence of men. It is always a fatal mistake for a woman to argue with a man. _ If she is wrong, it irritates him;if she is right, it infuriates him! It is equally foolish to crow about sex equality and your love of independence if you still expect us to r..sh to open doors for you, to stand when y- i stand, to light your cigarettes, carry your parcels, r d relinquish our seats to you in buses and trains. Only the other day I witnessed the horrible sight of a flat-footed super woman flopping in to a seat which a frail young man had given up to her. She didn’t even thank him; she took his seat in much the same spirit as she would have taken his watch if ho had offered it to her. She considered it her due as a woman ivhen in reality she was but a feeble caricature of a man. You see what I mean, Eve dear, don't you? If you really mean to usurp all our time-honoured prerogatives, Ivy all means go the whole hog about it and don’t complain when we try to treat you as equals. If you will persist i" jostling us in the fields of sport and of commerce, vou must not object to getting a hearty slap on the back and being called ‘‘old chap!” A woman who can beat a man at golf till he looks like a whipped puppy must not expect him to go down on his hands and knees every time she loses a ball in a muddy stream, and she must not expect him to help her over the bunkers. Woman of that type rob a man of all his chivalrous impulses—they stifle romance at its very birth. When you come to uirow the whole of human endeavour into the melting pot you will find that love of power is all it boils down to. Men have to fight for power, but women can win it by subtler methods. You should learnto preserve your womanly charm, at all costs, since it is the most vital weapon in the whole battle of life. I would like to add a few words of protest concerning the manners of women where the men they love are concerned. I have watched those little sideshows of Life’s Pageant very carefullv, and it seems to me that once a woman has got a man badly in love with her, she delights in humiliating him in the presence of other people, although (and I have this on good authority 1) she is perfectly sweet to him when they are alone. There can only be one reason for this —obviously, she wants to say to the World: “Not only has this rare and precious creature chosen me out of all the billion trillion women he has mot, but I can treat him like a worm or a newly-born ha he and—voila —he still adores me!’’ But, does he? If only -on knew how this cheap bravado lowers you and the whole of your sex in his eves A man knows no horror more ghastly than to be made a fool of, and he never forgives it. If I were a woman, my slogan would be: Save his vanity! It is the only way women can lure big men to their little feet and keep them there. We want gentle wisdom, not overwhelming brilliance —understanding. tact, and sense of humour. When you come to consider how much a man can mean to you—your home and car, your bath salt? and caviare, you may as well learn to “treat him right! FITTING YOUR LOVE. “They’re much more attractive now that they’re married!” So said my friend as we returned from our visit to mutual acquaintances. “Perhaps they complete each other, I said quite casually, and then remembered reading that “some men are incomplete until they are married.” It seemed to he true of these two. She was far less hasty, and he by no means so annoyingly deliberate. She seemed to do her best to make up for his quiet, reserved temperament, and he was obviously putting himself out to compensate for he. rather inexperienced . .ethods of entertaining. The result was a thoroughly enjoyable visit, and the realisation that the two fitted each other excellently, and consequently each was much more delightful than when single. ~ There is much in this mutual adjustment, so that each fits the other and increased the success of the union. A friend told me aently that she was “much happier even than when she was first married.” She said Tom’s funny little ways by this time, and adjusted herself ’accordingly.” And, she added very wisely, “I expect he does the same with me —at anv rate we seem to fat in together wonderfully well.” Of course we all have funny little fads and inconsistencies. We are just like hits of a jig-saw puzzle. When we find the person who just fits—like the next piece of the puzzle—then we have mutual happiness. , , It is a rrood thing for lovers to look for corners and angles that ave constantly misfitting. A little mutual adjustment makes such a difference, and, after all, the perfeet fit” is what we all want—even in nfe and love. One savs, “Joan has such an irritating habit. She always remembers something at the last minute, and it does so annoy Another who knows the value of unity and co-operation would observe the fault, but strive to do all he could to save her falling into it. Joan would appreciate his motive and respond to his thoughtfulness Consequently the occasions of forgetfulness are lessened, and perhaps eliminated, and with them disappears the annoyance and irritation that kills complete unity. So often love just overlooks these misfits It sees the same points of difference and dispute continually arising, and looks upon them as something inevitable. TJiat is the wrong attitude, for by mutual thought and understanding those misfits can be made into a perfect fitting and a closer union of love. , ~ It means jn=t this, as a gandmother told me at her -olden wedding, “everv year we are happier because we grow closer ami closer together, until now are really incomplete without each other. A perfect fit in love is a priceless possession.—Daily Chronicle.