THE COMMON ROUND.

Otago Daily Times, Issue 18995, 17 October 1923, Page 2

THE COMMON ROUND.

By Watfahee. “St. Luke’s lit tip. summer “ was menrioned some clays ago as one of the traditional descriptions of the brief 'spell of warm weather apt to oecnr during th« mitlauUinm season in the Home Country. Here in Dunedin, after a gorgeous Sunday, we have been experiencing what may appropriately be termed a “St. Luke’s, little winter.” ‘Appropriately. I say. because 'tomorrow (October. 18) will bo the festival of St. I.like--" the beloved physician," the patron saint of the healing fraternity.

Tlie anniversary of Pas-chcndaele. with its pathetic cluster of commemorative notices, has come anil gone; and next ■Sunday will be Trafalgar Day, or Nelson Gay, whichever you like to call it. A suitable way of celebrating the occasion would he to contribute a trifle to Admiral Sturclco’s fund for (he restoration of the mighty seaman's world-famous ami precious flagship, the Victory.

I was never addicted to morning (that i.- to say. mid-morning) tea. It is manifestly an otiose and artificial custom. But now. acting on medical advice, given gratis at Burns Hall, [ have abandoned my occasional indulgence in afternoon tea, I am also conscientiously striving to wean myself from matutinal steak-and-onious. fancy cakes, over-cooked mutton “drenched in hot .‘.■nice never intended for a healthy stomach.” In these matters one has to resist (he philosophy (at once stoic and epicurean) of (he small hoy who, when warned that he would assuredly he ill if he had anymore pudding, replied, "Well, it’s worth it." But when it is suggested that I should abandon my pipe, for fear of the outside chance of contracting malignant disease of the lower lip. I feel that capitulation , would be nothing less than cowardly desertion of a friend whose comfortable Oddity lias never been at fault. Swop! when flip dawn is crop; Sweet whin they‘Tp cleared nw.iy l.imeh: ami at, elose of day Possibly sweetest. uliy are not our crusading doctors more active in denouncing the lung-destroying and generally deleterious cigarettes which 1 do not smoke? Can it bo that they themselves . . . '!

I seldom pick up a copy of the Fortnightly Review without pondering for a moment qn what is probablv a unique feature in the history of nomenclature. J he Fortnightly started publication nearly sixty years ago. with (bo gifted but now half-forgotten G. H. I.ewes as first editor; and it made its appearance once a fortnight. Nothing wonderful about that. —anymore than about the occupation of the tortoise in ''Alice’’ (“Onr teacher was an old ioirloise?”—“But why a tortoise?”—"Because he taught us—sloonid 1”). But in the course of a year - or two the fortnightly issue was found to bo impracticable, and tile, magazine became a “monthly,” without any change of name. And a monthly, and yet a Fortnightly, it has remained through all these years'. John Alorley, recently departed, was the second editor.

That marvellously prolific writer. the Rev. Sabine Baring-Gould, is now in his ninetieth year. Author of more than a hundred books representing manifold kinds of literature—fiction, history, biography, poetry, religion, ecclesiology, topography, folk-lore, fairy tales, ghost-lore—the old Devonshire “Squarson” ha? just published (he first part of his Reminiscences. The volume contains many good stories, which it has been pointed out, are by no means of a rigidly clerical character. One relates to the parliamentary candidature, of the late Baron de Stern. He was vigorously heckled regarding his Austrian antecedents, and someone shouted. “Who and what are you''" Stern replied. “I am a Baron, and mein fader was Baron, too.” To which came the prompt rejoinder: “Bilv your modeler was not barren also!” A friend tells me that tnis story is a chestnut; but. as the “weary King-ecclesiast” observed long ago, there is nothing new under the sun.

Another secular yarn is connected with the misuse or mispronunciation of the French word “fafm” (hunger). The Bar-ing-Goulds’ coachman, Pengelly by name, once accompanied the family on a continental tour. On one occasion at St. Jean-de-Ltiz, Icing very hungry, ho entered a restaurant, and indicated his desire for food by the remark, “Jo snis fameux.” "Jo le crois hien, monsieurwas (he polite response, bur. there was no movement to supply the coachman’s wants.-, Pengelly, suspecting that ho had made a mistake, tried again with “J’ai uno femme grosse." “Ah! monsieur, je suis charme de Ten tendre: j’espere qiTellc aura, des couches heurcusos.” Exasperated, but still resourceful. Pengelly exclaimed: “Alossoo ! Je suis femme.” The restaurateur was equal to the occasion. "Mais e’est incroyable—et avec. de ;;i beaux favoris!” Pengelly’s whiskers were blonde and luxurious. Be it added, perhaps a little incongruously, that the venerable raconteur is author of the familiar hvrnns, “Onward, Christian Soldiers,” and “Now the Day is Over.”

Dr Johnson and Goldsmith’s village schoolmaster, whose Words of learned length and thundering sound Amazed the Raping rushes gathered round. have had many disciples in the matter of sonorous verbosity. At Eastbourne resides an elderly gentleman named Tapp, who stylos himeslf a ‘‘sesquipedalian,” and glories in the designation. “I do not use big words In a pedantic sense, but only in an expressive way, because X often find smaller words are inadequate and often inappropriate.’’ On a coroner's jury on one occasion lie was disputing with a witness when tlic coroner described him ns “a disputatious old man.” Mr Tap]), who is only 70. retorted that he was not a “fossilised adolescent.” Riving evidence" in the police court a few days ago, lie began: “I was contemplating crossing the road when the influx of traffic was so great that I positioned myself contiguous to tlie constable on point duty.” The magistrates’ clerk asked him to use simpler language. “Excuse me," said Mr Tapp. “I am not a pedant, but a scholar. I will withdraw the word ‘contiguous’ and substitute ‘propinquity.’ ”

Mrs Malaprop would have preferred 'contagious.’’ It is ages—a mouth at least—since I annexed anything from Punch. Pray let indulgence be extended to the theft of these charming lines, with their gossamer grace and timely moral. Old Ladies. Whore are they sone. the dear Old Ladies. Dainty of speech and gently bred. Sweet old darlings with airs and graces (Not these people with made-up fares Counterfeiting a youth long sped)! What has become of the real Old Ladies. Where are the folk of whom we've read! Hark to the tale of the dear Old Ladies: .Manners were lost, and courtesy dead; Ace could win from the young no duty. Kyes prow blind to their charm and beauty. So one night, as we lay abed, Fairies came for the dear Old Ladies. Leaving us nothing a! all instead.

Ur»Vr a spoil tin* rtonr Old Lartlps Oft to thrir inaain realms they led. Pm them away with their silver Wrinkles ami delicate-scented circsso. Gos.-a ,ut covorlets o’er them spread: There they arc lyinpr, the dear Old l.adic.=, Laid in lavender foot to head. Ever around the dear Old Ladies Remind- jmeu with noiseless tread Till we. repent, of mir ill-hehanric (liver so humbly pardon eiavinp): Then they'll pity the tears wc shed. us hack the dear Old Ladies, Hear Old Ladies that now are fled. Yet are there not a few real and dear Old Ladies still to be found, if not in London, then in Dunedin?

Riidyanl Kipling, according to the cable, concluded bis rectorial address at St. Andrew's “by urging the undergraduates at all costs to remember that the one thing that, stands outside belittlement, through all changes is the guidance that drives a man to own himself.” With this compare Swinburne (Prelude to "Songs Before Sunrise"): S.ivr iiis urn -mil's light nvorhcafl. None Iwiils him, ami none ever Ini, Acrur-s I.nib's hidden harbour-bar. Vast youth where shoreward shallows are, Tin ouch age that drive? on toward the red Vast void of sunset lin tied from far, To (lie erjual water.? of Ihe dead; save his own .-oill he bath no star. And -ink?, eyrepl bis own soul guide, Ilehnle.-.- in middle turn of tide.

Mr Lloyd George told the American Society ln»l week that Europe was "like NeheniiaJi rebuilding his shattered habitation. with a, trowel in one band anil a sword in the other." I regret to say that an old acquaintance, ostensibly nurtured with pious care in days of childhood, found it necessary In ask me who Noheuiinh was. There is every reason to believe that at the age of ten. or thereabouts, he knew quite well that the Hook of Nehomiah came between the Books of Ezra and Esther; yet it had come to this. Nehemiah writes (iv., 171 R) ; “ They which builder! on the wall, and they that bare burdens, with (hose that Wind, every one with cue o I hit hands

wrought in the work, and with the other hand held a weapon. I'.or the builders, every one had his sword girded by his side, and so buikied. . • . So we laboured in the work; and half of them held Ihc spears from the rising of the morning till the stars annearcd " There is the same vivid idea in P the Sam' of Solomon: “They all hold swords, being expert in war; every man hath his .sword upon his thigh, berause ot fear in the night.”