NEWS AND VIEWS.

Otago Daily Times, Issue 12278, 15 February 1902, Page 2

NEWS AND VIEWS.

A Yorkshire liny, on being asked io name one of tlio minerals of Australia, promptly replied, ''Tinned mutton." A dentist with a tootlinc-lie is a spectacle p. 3 vara a'- it is gratifying. It comes, perhaps, l) 1 ,!I once in n lifetime, hut it brings with il a fragrance tiiat remains for ye.-irs. Queen Alexandra possesses a marvellous faculty for dropping oIT to sleep whenever she fee!.; that she otijlit- to have a little re:-t. It is to her ability to take a nap at will that In r M:ije-ty attributes her excellent state of l:c.!'.tli. A good story ir I old of a certain clergymail wlm had for hi-, curate a tall, cadaverous looking -.rlividiU'l. One Sunday. according In c-.wicni, the vicar made an anpeal for the cur;'l' '.< stipend fund, lint, unfortunate'.}-, (danced over at his co-worker as he concluded with these words, "The collection will now lw taken for that object." This incident illustrates the sort of gallantry that is most prevalent in (his degenerate agr.:~\s a man and bis wife were passing a school a flying snowball hit the wife oi hi.-. bosom in the ncek. Ho was enraged, and justly, and turning to the schoolboys, shaking his fist in anger, he cried, "Il's lurky for yr.it. yon ra-cals, that yov. didn't hit me."—til-Hit?. A solemn ennfercne" was hold at Rome in December tinder llic presidency of Cardinal Parocc'ii to di-ensa the claims of .loan of Are to canonisation. It v.-a= agreed, according to the forms of the Roman Catholic Chure'i, to recognise her virtue and heroism by crea!'ti:< her faint. The I'oyie will order a great ceremony at fit. Peter's for the fennel canonisation, after which the Maid of Orleans will he known as fit. .loan of Arc. The humour? ot the telephone would make a goo:t ruhjref for an prticlc. ,Onc lady (rd'ed up hrr husband at hi= ofTro'to say lliat I he M-.'iths were a-kiug them to dinner on the i deplume. "Is it worth while?" sh« irc)nirr:l of hrr spouse. "Yes, it is ("lite worth wliil»," rar.it; bee 1 ; the nnev ivct'd answer from Iter wiitkl-hc hestess, who had not been "cni off." One of the unexnected n"d almost naredoxie.il res:*]l.- of tlm present war ha" been the humanising rlTrot it has undoubtedly r:;Hed on the great nifiorilv of tlm ran': and fdr. "Tommy Ai si -." so far from h-'lng brula'i.'cd and debased in maulers rirl morals by his iccen! campo'iruing, Va; during it-- pro-r n .-s evforlc] the admirnfi v n of friends and foes ."like, alu-ays excepting foreign cartoonist?, Air Pavitt, and llnse whom we nwy describe as the iTnfc-:ionnl pro-r.oors.—Spectator. Mr Harry Fnrniw lol'b a curious story rcla'iirr to Lord Randolph Churchill and I.ord Malirhury, after Hie former's sudden r;situation of nfllee. A deputation of a fe;v intimate friends ctdHl on Lord Ralisbuty. P"?i:m-d)ly on rjuiio a different ii-atltr, hnl i.-l mi lo I lie .-ithicel of Lord I'andn'pli. Lord Hili-'bury. reciii" iV.ough H-.fi>- oViec!, e;';ed tlm rpie--:ion, "Have etiv cf yon cvr had a carbuncle on Ihe b.se!.- ot your neck'" " Xo." "Then I have, and I do not want another." The Transvaal after the war v ill not lie II " Paradise of |he Oulcn-t which it was before, f,ambling hells .-ml dancing saloons, and worse sources of wer.llh to those who owned them, will not be revived. Moreover, the Ku'Ymean liolico will he in force, and ii) a pes',lion lo arrest any who aro wanted f'ii- extraditable offences. Again, the auihorilics will i=sue warning; against fraudulent veil'nre? much as the Rovoinor of the Gold he-- ('one regarding some of the "mining indintr'rq" in that colony. Tn the felure firlii'iei v/'Ti no ! . lie made ai hv;t in ,7;;hai!-ne-burg a? they were.—'lb-ci've: 1 . Mr V.-. \Y. .lacote. llic auilier „f "Many <;;cr" " W been t"iling the "King" how ho \vor!;«. "One difficulty." he saiys. "is that t v.ever feel inclined io work. II is tine I havi a l'O'im at home which supposed f> b-> sr.cvd to work. I call il my office. -"-1 on it I have -nit a ticket: 'OTce hours, 10 tiil 4.' I usually go into thai room at 10 o'clock, and nobody disturbs me (ill 1. T r'lnuM not like to say, however, how mve'i work I do during thai time. T sit down et the desk, and if T hapnen to be lew I lli'nl: of the «tory as a whole, instead of the bit which is in front of me to do. I hav.' i em! of men win take rooms away from Ihtir homes, and go io them religiously every day. so that by being uncomfortable I hey are bound to write. I envy tlios men, but even if I were uncomfortable I have the unfortunate faculty of being able to sit down and do nothing just as long ac pcs«ih!e." Tim ru ; h of emigrants from Yietnrin to South Africa lifts slackened off considerably. Tin new form of permit is not ycl rvailable, b'-cai.;-».in some rr-pcer« it is held to lie inapplicable to Au.-lralian conditions and the Prime Miivjter i-t cemmunicating witii llw C i'onial Ofiic on the subject. Spceial certificates have lo be obtained by smomt reeomnanyinor shipments of horses to finntli Allien. Theii- employers must enter into a bond of £100 that they will, " witl.-in a month after their arrival, either accept scri-ic in I he King's forces or leave !!riti-h Soulli Afriea." Over TO application- have been received in llie la.-l few days for thi-;a permits, bul none has yet been E-rnnt"<]. becTu-e the nece.'sary bonds have n-l, bern forthcoming. Tiie "Academy" nos again a nnmbc of wf'l-known people to name the hvn books vhleh have ileased and inlcrestec! tli'-m n,est iu the current year. Tiie replies ere not wiiiioni inleresl The Hi.-hop of London ha; been solaced by Rigg's " Ansh'm "f CaMterbnr.v" and Sirs Bishop's "The V"i'g;?e Valley end lievnd." The Lord M-yor he- o-!inyr:l "Tiie History of Itichavd ('•haatiy" and Ihe "Life of Lord I'.tisaell of Kdloiven." The life of Lorl l!u-"e ! l has selected |iy men of very various types, including Mr I'inero, Sir Douglas Jiiiaight. \II :i Kiiflierino Tynan, and the editor'of " PllDcli." The " People's I-'riend " tolls of e. cerlain bishop well known for Itis verksiiy, who ! !■.■)«(> 1(1 address the House of Lord? on a very important, ocra'iou. " I wilt divide my speech under 12 heads," he said, io the discomfort of hi.: audicnc. The Marfpiis of Salisbury begged to be allowed to inlernns" with a little cneedote:—"A friend nf mine was returning home laic one night," he said, "when opposite St. Patd's be saw an intoxicated man trying lo ascertain the time on llic big clonk there, .lunt lhc.;i it began lo strike, and slowly tolled out 12. The m-ni listened, looked hard at Ihe clock and said. 1 Confound you, why couldn't you have said I hat all at once?'" The bishop heartily joined in Ihe laughter which followed, anil took Ihe Mill contained in the story. Mr Horace C. llulchinson's classification in the more frequent dreams in his re-c-ntiy-iiiihlishcd volume on "Dreams and their Meanings," is fairly complete. He •ev. lie 1-0 are seven eomnnui kitrle-(l) Ihe. falling tire,hi.—you are falling over a prceipice or down the stairs; (2) the flying ('ream - the dream that you can Hy; (, 7 i) the dream of more or less ir.adequatn elothing-that you are not prnnorly clothed: (!) the dream of not being able to get away from seme bca=t or injurious perfon or thing that is you: (5) th" dream of being drawn irresistibly to some dangerous place, sueh as a fire; (6) the dream that same darling wish lia.s hp»n gratified: and (7) the dream of rbout to go a journey, mid being unable to get your things into your trunks', etc. Put, rs lie add.--, "no doubt there are a great many mure." The minister of a certain rari>b was going front homo. :v,ul j-rof-.iTed the clergyman of a neiuhhouriiig parish to oOiciate on'.Sunday. lln servant, who was also tlio beadle, was sent over tn the station to drive Ihe reverend gentleman lo t'-c manse. When the train arnvpf!. Hip a?!;rfl l»inl to j» wliilo. as he hail some message.s io t?.» l efcre he iveiit. ]| wa- : two hours before he relume:!. The good man wa- fuv-ous, ami threateneil to report him to his ma=lcr. "Weel. «ir, enn dac thai if yt . iiho." nid th- beadle: "hut he t"!H me him.-a!' t;) wail till ii was dark afore I drove ye ower: fe- if thfolk on' Ihe village saw wl:a. wa- to preach the morn naebedy wad turn on! ava." A sliovi time link Dr Temple, Arciibi-hop of Canterbury, bad before him a young "Mi-ate wlm was seeking bis license! His (.race ordered the aspirant to read some verses from a hoc];, in order to jndgn the newer (if his voice. "Won't do," said Ihe Archhishoi), when the young man had finished: "your voice is not loud enough." "Oh," answered the curate, "I'm so sorry! A young lady told nic yesterday I spoke 'so idainly, and could he understood perf<-cllv." "Ah, you are engaged':' raid lb" Alchbi.-hop suddenly. " Yes, my lord." " Xow, listen, young man." went on his finre, " while yon are engaged don't believe everything the ladv tells you: bu! w'.icn you're married beli've even-thing she says," Oiring to sc-ver.il dcatiis ut.der c-hlorofarm recently, some ngitat ion on the matter is being ereused, and the Melbourne Argus of

-Tantlarj* 22 reports (hat (he Solicitor-general (Mr Agar AVynnc) has given consideration to the number of deaths which have recently happened in tlio pases of patients nmlcr chloroform, and has decided that some action will be taken in tlio matter. lie has made up his mind that where deaths occur in this way the Crown will lie represented at (ho inquest, ami if an unsatisfactory renorl i.s furnished any further action that is doomed nccossary will' be taken. Mr Wynne says that the- rrccrd of deaths in Victoria compares unfavourably wilh that of the London hospitals in this rc-noct. and ho thinks therefore that there must lie room for improvement in the methods of administration of tlio aiWfthetie. Sir Robert Rail his reprinted ill a tempting volume bis last year's Chrislmas lociurer. at the Royal Institution. Ho culls it "The Krrth.'s Beginning" (Casscll|. but the real topic is (he condensation of nobuhr into suns ,-.11(1 stars, from which little, worlds like our own arc I brown oil'. All that wa< blought out ill (lie lectures and more is hero put into permanent form. Sir liobcrl adds in an appendix some calculations of the boat uhich the sun lias yielded in contracting to "inn 1 " 0 ," 1 . 1 ' f "™' Tl !unol '"<s to as much as wIOO fdobc.s of cop!, each as heavy as the sun would give out. Now, as tlio sun is about StO.OOO miles in diameter, 3100 such pllBniil! stretch from whore the sun now h ,\092.000 CO3 nf milc.-i into space, which would lie far outside tlie orbit of Saturn. Hut thai, is not all. for (hove is still enough heat in tne sun lo warm the earth for millions of years Tim?, big as the sun is, it is on economical warming anparatus. It onlv needs to shrink 16 inches per day lo B j ve on [ al ho heat we nood, not to mention thou3of tln «-- as much, mattered in space. In the smoking room of a Swiss hotel a discussion recently took place between a (■erni.m and r.n American m | 0 the merits o. Thou- respective armies. The former beloved in discipline nn:l trained troops, as he bciiiivod in the hereafter. The Amorican believed in training, too, but hold that „• l,r , l , ,cni ' c, l "I 1 0" the material trained. l.iven, quoth ho. "that brains are lacking. no amount of nhysical trainine- will malK up fnr Ihom. Toko tlio American troop.j, comparatively untrained, and r-e. iOW well they fight. It's bceau-o of their br:,i;i3." » Xoiife; i;o ," r cj o jncd the aroused (torii'ui!. " l-nlniiied Iroops can iio\*er stand against wrK-drilM onc.i. Take your oounlry, for example, with jiractieaily no drilled prmy. What would you do?"' Ho. paused impr?-,-i V fly. ar.l Ihon said: "What wou'd you do if florti-anv landed ail army of '50.0G0 p-rfootiy dril'ril and pcrfcctlyerj'iipped men on yo-v share*?" "limy thrill," was the Hiiiet lint complete rc-joindo-.-.—Frco JV-.nco. .According In tho ''World" tlio I'riuoo of li'alcs. whoso interesting speech on bis reli't'U from bis lour has attracted mnoli n!trnti );i, has improved (since lie made his [Til, sprooh ill public, lie « a s not tho man the world that day, a't'ioug-' ho had rojeet'd the advice of tho lJi-ko of Camhridge to typo bis speech and refer it to him when iho moment o.imo. Ho had resolved to irust himself, and, ihoujli his norvou:.np« was apparent enough when bo rose lo sp"ak, his maiden effort wan satisfactory to all who board it, nod would have boon sntisfaclorv, no doubt, to himself, if tiio puke of Cambridge bad not boon silting by in ono rf his merriest moods. " Conceited boy!" Iho Duke exclaimed aloud at nouses in tho speech, which was interrupted wilh olh-r ilno.il oinenlalions, rneh as "Self'udicioney!" "Why didn't ho do as I told him?" and "Absurd!" Tho Dulro has a way of siviug Ibing; aloud, which most people wouM softly whisjio,-, and ho has more (i iri o-ic.- romi'-d'-d his fiinuls of Iho Itny.il Duko who wo l -" up in church as tho preacher rahl, "Irt us prav," and astonished everybody by cxclaimirg, "Cortaiii'v! " Tho Moliio-.'rno s\rgus reports a dastardly act, which rndango'-od the lives of four men, at the eutrino house of the Xow St. Mimgo mine, Y'ct-n'ia, reconlly. When the men om<n on to work on Monday tho enginedrive-- Ipt (inni down lo ibo ISSOft plat, when two of lliem had to get our. As the e-igo did not slop at the plat, ibo men thought- they wore too high, and knocked lo l;o lowered. The cgine-drivcr bad been loft orders to stmi again at tlio 1760 ft plilt. whore lhr> magazine is located, but on tho cage drerndinir furlher the men found that once move thoy had rot brcn slopprd at the phil. Con". "!ennrj that tlie engine-driver mir.t. have bee" o r fanit with regard to his on Iho iiKljValing dial I hey gave the eigpnl tn be It'iirlcd tn thn nirfaee. Tho tl;e 1.-«>eelc, ntui when he implied tlie was 300 ft below the M;rfneo he was to r.ee it, with '.be four men nbnnrd. emerge from Use month nf th n shaft. The en?e was ascending ifuv.dly, bul: of was shown l y the driver, who applied the brakes, and Mopped the en™* about 30ft above the r.innth nf Ihe shfift. An oxamin.';lion of the iwlieMim; rli'd wn< made, and il found that- ii Ji:i'l been tnmprrcd with, tho hands liovinqr he'Mt sbified so tlmi tlie recorded depth was mil to tlie extent of nearly 300 ft. Aiiibn= c ador Chmte was nrosont one even* inn in l.ondon at au elaborate reception. He wore convention;!] evening c!othe>, all the other enrols of nnpearintr in the rielm?! nnifornv. brilliant wilh gold 1 -ice r.nd ordrr-. Puvin? tlsc evening the A'nhnwlor vns approrehfd liv a fitranirer. v*i"» <«aid perer.ujrorily, "Call men cab." "Ymi are a instantly re?nonded the AlOiwsiu'.nv, The stranger ptnivd at him in estoiiMim'v}. turned oil hi-; lieel. and went dinvt b hi-' imst, eomnlaininr; of lh" insoof n faifrv wi'om he liarl insirrctod to cal' a rub. T|-f» bo.-t. anil iniliat ll n inipudenl meninl lie poin'ed eur !o bin*, |s<nt lie mij»bt make Ihe i)nn'>hnient 111. rri?nf. This wn« i'>idene. '• Wr»ii r vl' 1 exelnimed h'.> 1 "why, ilint i* ihe American Ambasso* d.nv! Coj'A" \\\\ and 1 will introduce yon." Thr> ('rMfiiP"'! r ;ii" , -t mnde his pnolcjrips. "He t(»ld v-v," r v the iiieasnnlly, " |o c:]]] hhn a e?b, find T called i\ c'd\ Uhp H;1 b r ni e }\[\}z bettorhiH I would havo o.MIc! him a hansom i cab.'' I voitjnt; Tin-; ooaimox i The »vi<low nf sin Kn^i 6 !' army ofHecr was I visiting inn with ln-r son. n ehnrniinsr liitle fi.'How about fivo yeirs old. The mother told mo wilh p'idc how hnnorrable he was. how mid tin! she had never for an iirl-'ut in him indications of any trails that were low or l>n^e?. The child was pnl bed every at f). \\ e dined a) 7. T was ntlinp' in the dvfiVt'incf ronii! one everinp before dinner. r lh° room wa" tho floors on rt n, and my se;i'. a view «f both Ihe stairway and iho dininij ronic. T'ie table was set, I and in iho ceni'e was a dbh of tempting j noavhf". thive came to lay ears I ihe j-jiilcr nf little lure f:cr. and a childish figure. (-lad in a nhrhi- fown. ptolo down In** stairs, thro»i_»h ihe ln!l, into tho dininj? ■■•-nm, up in the table. t S<«a!l fiiurovs i*e fonmo-l pesel\ from tlio and the. liltje fellow turned and trotted away up- ; f\«jjin. J As T <at in ihe dark, in an agony of ap- , pi"'heurinn, came n«ain t;>o patter. rafl-T uf bllle feet, and a whit n -cl:vl figure <U«lc 'lowu Hie thnnxih 1h" hall, into Ihe dininr room, up io the table. Small Jiiv;eri vep!ae:d the stolon peach jn4 where it bed hro.n, and a stebbom lilt In voice mnliovrd. "Done again, old devil!"—H.B., in Harper^,