PASSING, NOTES.

Otago Daily Times, Issue 11917, 15 December 1900, Page 4

PASSING, NOTES.

For our disappointment in the matter of the Harlech Castle and the returning troopers we are naturally looking about for somebody that may be punched. We had gone into the thing with our customary patriotism, and thought it all out with our proverbial perspicacity — had promised money, appointed committees, borrowed mounts, arranged processions, banquets, decorations,1 speeches; we were not going to repeat, the scandal of the London streets when the C.J.V's. returned, still less the worse sciuulal of the Melbourne streets on the return of the first batch of Australians; instructed by fiascos elsewhere we had taken the most intelligent precautions; when, !o, we achieve « totally ruinous /inseo of our own. Or. rather, we don't achieve it; the fiasco is thrust upon us. Who is tnblisme? Something or somebody, surely, will have to pay for this. Alas, nobody is to blame. It is the fortune of war—of the Hour war, which never yet has brought us exactly iv hat we expected, when we expected, and in the way we expected. The Fortune of War — yes! —we ought by this time to have pretty well learned our lesson. Let us accept it, and be thankful to get back our troopers when we can, how we can, and as many as we can. They will not all come back. But there is somehow in our blood a Spartan touch which will enable us to be thankful also for " the unreturning brave."

Tho holiday season is .setting in with something less than its usual severity. At the Dunedin High Schools, two breakingnp functions have been got through in a single day, and the iv.fo presidential addresses tacked together would be only about equal, in yard measure, to one —.in individual one—of former1 years. For which relief much thank?. Also for the cjnality of the said addresses let :i word of praise be said. At the Boys' School the Ttov. Dr Watt talked in a simple, straight, and manly wa.y, good for boys to hear; nt the Girls' —well, it ought to be fine and imprisonment for the principal speaker at, (lie (4iil«' break-up to speak in any other tone and vein than tha tone and vein of "Mr Justice Williams; which is perhaps "ltlv another way of saying that >IV Justice Willii'ins oiv/ht always to b° secured for the principal address. His Honm, I see. expressed his be'ic.F. or his hope, (hat young Indies for whom "today's paper" is " to-dy's pypor." and who would say

or snig

There we ly All the dy In the By Of Bis-oy O!

—tint these young lvdies cannot have been educated at the Girls' High School. I associate mvsclf, ns is proper, with this judicial deliverance, and then venture to Ruw'est iliiit his Honor and T may compliment ourselves on our magnificent chnritv. If the thing were in my disposition I would on this matter put evsrv teacher in every school, high or low, to the question ; there should he « life-ami-death test in voweisounds—a lest for ear. a test for utterance, and by (he result of that test should the teacher stand or fall. There are public school" known to me, though I shall not name them, in which tho iipstilent Cockneyism reprehended by his TTooor breeds and is propagated. uidined°d and unchecked.

About, cnokiiv*—Mir)! hor topic of flu's cunningly-appropriate address In a girls' liilli school—l observe Ilia I: his Honor, in common with others of us wlio no longer possess vh.it Horace calls tli» "tough guts (if reapers." has had his experiences. The Scotch conk of whom he petitioned nti omelet to ro.-jiieste'l Ilia-t she shouldna he fashed with sic havers. A corresnondent who writes to me fliis week would lipvs been m\v:\\ in sympathy with her. He sends me some recipes which, he says, were in common kitchen use by no less a person than the wife of Oliver Cromwell: and upon them he pours scorn for their complexity. The after-dinner attendance of a doctor, lie thinks, must usually have been necessary. He signs himself "Porridge." and supposes, I don't doubt, (lint beyond the making of porridge the culinary nvt need not go. ] give one of his recipes, •Scotch colinps of'veal, .Mrs Oliver Cromwell's "almost constant dish."

Take a fillet oE ve.il, nut it into small slices, fnt and lean, not too thick; take eisht cgps, beat them very well, with a. little salt; grate n whole lmtnie?: take p. hnndtnl of thyme, nnri strip it; take a pomv.l of sausascs; t.-he half si pint of stewing oysters, the farsest to be.had. aiul eleangc them. Fry your veal with Mvccl- buttsv, put in the "iiwsogcs und oysters; take a quarter of a pound of cnvws and shred them very small; take three nnehovies and disput in your ej<iis. shred capers end anehovien, butter nnrt spice, and mingle them anrl stew them in the pan upon the veal and oysters. Serve it with pippetu with n little i'resli butt-r and vinegar, and lemons sliced, and barberries with a little salt. Yon must hnve a care to ■nth the heat of the fire.'

Well, for a .simple dish of Scotch collops, Mrs 0. C's. ideas were a trifle recherche, so to say: but. after all. in the art and mystery of preparing human food this is of the faults (hat lean to. virtue':! side. J'oliiiLS apart. I should not have been afraid to liveakf'-.st or liinoh with the CromM'ttlls any day in Mip iveek.

Mr Mell.'iiicl. in his preaching of cremation, lias unexpectedly "struck i'e." Tint Me have always been siiiuulai'lv tolerant of fads and faddists niiaht" he shown by cxfim]ilcs half-a-seore ; !)ut this is not mere tolerance.—this is cn(linr-ia^m ; and cremation is not a fad —oh, clcir. no, quite the contrary!—we have persuaded tan-selves or allowed Mr Melland to persuade us that, to be baked after death to an impa'palile powder is a hunn and a blessing. Speaking for myself, a convert with tinl rest. I ought, I suppose, to be looking forward with satisfaction to my instalment ahum with nMier citizens in the municipal Hall of the Dead, each a handful of inolfensive »»]ies hermetically stoppered in his own cinerary urn, numbered .''.ml ticketed —row after vow of us, tier upon tier, like the shelves in a chemist's pimp. But the prospect hardly appeals to me as it ought. Neither does the alternative possibility of being retained for domestic use—to ornament :m overmantel or welcome visitors from a bracket in the hall. Who is to guarantee Die permanence of these honours? The time will come, perhaps, when it will be: "Where is Uncle Wili'iam?" "Ob. behind the door in the bathroom." "And Aunt Jane?" "In the cupboard under the stairs." "Anil poor, dear grandfather?" "Let me see.; —l think lie's on the top shelf of tile pantry." These possibilities are a little chillin."' : personally I should prefer I lie decent solitude of the tomb. But I don't, wish to discourage oilier people. Let Mr ATellnnd proceed to get us all safely cremated—only not too soon.

One point deserving .notice was not, touched on at the town Hall msetiii;,'. Cremation, it is cerrain. will pl.tv- havoc wilh t-lie poets. For example, we have, as a cherished classic (ivayV Kli'.iry in a. Country Cluircliyiird." Ts it possible to ininL'ine it us Oniy's Elegy in a, Ciematoriuin? '.rhen lalce a. well-known verse of Tennyson's: 'Tis well; 'tis somi-tliiii"-; we may stand Where lie in E...gl:sli I-artli in ln'kl, A.id from his a;; Hes may bo made TIIS violet of his nn.tive ini-.d. All this sort of tiling mupt end. The ashes of a cremated eitimn will yiehl no violets nor even so much a.s ii 'dock-leaf. Also consider the hard ease (if ghosls. N"o microbe, said Dr Brown at the Town Hall meetin;;, "could withstand the h-a.t necessary to ineinerale (lie Iniman hody"' ; lie lriitrlit have f.lded that neither could any ghosi. This will be nnot-hcr blow to the poets. In jioetrv ghosts inhabit graveyards, and are ]ivoper to the yew tree, Cheerless, nusocis.l nlnut, that leves to dwell Elitist skulls and coffiii?. epitaphs, nnd wnvmsAVltcrc l.'sht-hrelod ghosts, :m d visionary shades, Ewienlh the wan cold moon (an fame reports) ICmbodifil, Illicit, perform their mystic rounds. How many readers of this column, T wonder, eou'd name me the pnet front whom these lines are taken? Or could even.say