AN ORIGINAL JOKE.

Otago Daily Times, Issue 9039, 14 February 1891, Page 5 (Supplement)

AN ORIGINAL JOKE.

HOW A BRIGHT GIRL FOOLED TWO

LOVERS,

The story of Miss Eunice Marr, of Carpentersville, Ala., has just been made public. Miss Marr is a young lady rather under than above 20 years of age, and of a most light and blithesome nature. Indeed, her vivacity and playfulness are her prominent characteristics. We may mention .also in passing that she is an enthusiastic amateur photographer. Now this interesting young lady has for some time been receiving the earnest attentions of two young men of Carpentersville, Edwin R. Cole and Alonzo Doubleday. .Each is an excellent young man, a .member of the Young Men's Christian Association and a teacher in the Sunday school. There was really little choice between them, and Miss Eunice has found ifc impossible to decide which one to select.

Under ordinary circumstances she would, of course, have taken the one to whom her parents objected, but unfortunately these worthy people, for some unknown reason, did not look with any great favour on either. She did not, however, allow her anxiety in deciding to interfere with her buoyancy of spirits. In her extremity she hit upon this ingenious plan : She determined to insist on an elopement, arranging with each of them for the same night, and then go -with the one who arrived first. She accordingly instructed Edwin R. Cole to put a ladder up to the north window of her room at 2 o'clock en Tuesday morning, and told Alonzo Doubleday to do the same at the west window at the same time. One must certainly come a little before the other, she argued, and the other could scarcely blame her for not waiting. Having thus settled the perplexing question satisfactorily, she went about for the next few days with even a lighter heart than usual. Monday night when Miss Marr retired she set the alarm on her clock for 1.30 o'clock. Arising at that time, she was ready in 15 minutes. Then she got out her detective camera and put it in readiness, her idea being to take a snap shot at the minister during the ceremony. This attended to, she sat down and waited the arrival of the man who was to be her husband, with her young heart in a pardonable flutter, something which was doubtless increased by tho pleasing uncertainty as to whether it would be Edwin R. Cole or Alonzo Doubleday. At one minute before 2 she heard a slight noise outside the north window, as she thought, Bhe listened, and it seemed at the west window. A horrible thought (lashed upon hor. She rushed to the north window. Edwin R. Cole was wrestling with a heavy ladder below. She ran to the west window. Alonxo Doubleday had a ladder about half-way up. She stepped back and paused one moment. Simultaneously through the darkness she made out the upper end of a ladder rise at both the north and west windows. She saw that the time had come to act, and she did not hesitate. Going to the north window she spoke to the ardent Cole and told him to take his ladder around the corner to the west window. Quickly passing to the west window she instructed the fervid Doubleday to carry his ladder around to the north window.

Each impetuous young Borneo seized his ladder and started with it in an upright position. They met afc the corner in the darkness. One ladder fell against the house with a loud report—the other crashed into a tree. Then these two young men—Messrs Cole and Doubleday—fought. There, amid the wreck of the ladders, they clinched in almost a death struggle for live minutes, and shouted and used language which startled and shocked the lonely night watchman on his beat four blocks away, hardened and profane man though he was. In the thickest of it, while they were belabouring each other over the head with rungs torn from the ladders, there was a. bright glare of light from above, The coy young girl that each had thought to make his bride bad taken a flashlight photograph of them. The night watchman then came up, and after clubbing them, judiciously arrested them. They were fined lOdol apieco in the morning, and each used the bill to pay it whicli he had intended for tbe minister' Nor was tiiis the end of it, sad as it is. It is now announced in Carpentersvillo that Miss Eunice Marr will not marry either of these young men, but a pale youth who sings in the choir named Foster; while the Young Men's Christian Association is taking steps to expel both Cole and Doubleday on the strength of the watchman's report of their language; and the playful Miss Eunice is printing off her flash pictures at the rate of 50 per day and selling them at a good profit.

—Two hundred thousand Italians live in 37,000 dangerously unhealthy cellars; 9000 in little cells hewn out in the rocks. In 1700 communities bread is a luxury tasted only on holidays; 5000 communities are so poor that they consumo no meat at all; COO are without physioians; 104 are constantly afflicted with epidemic fevers j 110,000 persons have chronic, skin diseases; 63 in every 100 can nsilfcsr. Jfia-? nor write.