A MESSAGE FROM THE MIKADO.

Oamaru Mail, Volume XXXIX, Issue 10760, 6 May 1911, Page 1 (Supplement)

A MESSAGE FROM THE MIKADO.

(By Harry Leon Wilson.)

It was early February in Capri, yet a few almond trees had blossomed, the lemons were ripening oil the terraced hillside, and olive trees were hinting a new green beneath their dusty gray. There was sunny iieace — 11 Sabbath calm. Spring held the little island in the hollow of her hand and breathed upon it. And into tile rich, still beauty or itall there loafed a ragged contadina from the village below, fetching me the fatal telegram from Naples, across tho bay:

"Be over this afternoon. Get the band to meet me. Have important message from the Mikado for you. Thell witli Germany! '"Baron Lord Bill Dexter Freeman.

"Dauphin and County Recorder."

When I had read the thing twice it seemed to me there was no time to be lost. I fled through an alley of blossoming shrubs to the nest villa and in its garden came opportunely upon a worried man before an easel. He was trying for some shadows that darkened the cliff before him. He had sworn they were purple shadows, but thus far had failed to prove it. I thought ,it well for him to have a more tangible worry.'

"That dear Cousin Bill of yours has come back," I announced brutally. ■ The rising young colorist, Horace Mandeville Freeman, dropped palette and brushes and roso to his feet in quick alarm. "He hasn't been taken down with cholera or anything?" he asked in a flash of hope. I handed liim a slip of blue paper. His brows went up as he read. "I do hope he isn't " he began

weakly. "There's no telling about William, ' I said, "He was when he left for Japan, you remember." * "I did remember. The whole island remembered. There was no doubt whatever that lie had been—he and the two dear young friends he had known, man arid boy, for a whole day in Naples and whom he had hospitably brought to visit Horace. I think they never learned Horace's name in the eventful two days they were his guests. They spoke of him quite simply as "Bill's nervous cousin."

"Oilj well, lie was taking it for medicine," I suggested; "and that was three months ago. Probahly he's well now, and that"—l indicated the telegram—"is merely a humorous expression of his joy at seeing us again. Bill always will ho exuberant." "He wired me from .Cairo on his way out that he'd been bitten by a scorpion, but I suppose nothing came of it," mused Horace, a little resentfully. Then he brightened. "Anyway, let's shut the place up and get dinner out. "We needn't see him to-night. Then, if he is, we can get over to Naples on the morning boat and wire him we're called to Paris. He'll start for Paris, and we can come back." Horace has carefully trained a heard of the Italian Rennaissance, believing it helps to sell pictures when he serves tea in the studio and talks about "values." At least it helped' him now to look cunning and cold and cruelly deceitful. He was like his own portrait of an early Venetian statesman, plotting to strangle his daughter. "It may be a good plan," I conceded; "it may even be necessary; but we can first make valuable observations. When the boat gets in we'll stroll down past his hotel. We needn't get too close. I can diagnose Bill as far as the human eye can reach." "It has been so restful here," sighed Horace. I shall not gossip irrelevantly concerning William Dexter Freeman beyond admitting that his aunt Lutetia. a lady of no special narrowness of judgment, has spoken publicly of him ever since the second time he left college—his second college—as a young man not likely to end well. This. I believe, was the time William started West to be a cowboy and was found by alarmed relatives two weeks later eating his hincheon in the swimming tank of tlic Chicago Athletic Club. . Saving this slender revelation, any opinion as to his habits, character, and promise of usefulness in a busy world must he drawn from his • own simple narrative and the circumstances that evoked it. 11. The afternoon drowsed to its peaceful end; the purple shadows —undoubted purple now—deepened on the hills above Sorrento; and Vesuvius and its smokecloud became of an even, impalpable grey. At six o'clock the little white steamer from Naples nosed its way about the Sorrentine peninsula; at six-thirty it anchored at the Grande Mannn far below us and we could overlook the rowboats swarming to its side for. tlieir tourist prey. . . Twenty minutes later the perturbed Horace and I were strolling along the road to the village, keeping well aside from the carrozas that had already wound up the hill from the boat. We furtively scanned the occupants ot each, but there was no William Dexter Freeman— only the usual horde ot Germans and .a casual American or two. Reaching the little square, we agreed to lounge there a bit, after the manner of the country, until the last carriage had passed. The square at Capri is theatrical. It is the ideal setting for Cavalleria Rusticana —church, wineshop and colorful villagers. Wc sat .11 front of the wineshop and sipped a sticky red syrup, inflated with seltzer—and admired the grey old walls, witn the Bourbon arms still adorning a p tico. Opposite us a Punchinello engrossed a vivacious audience with ms domestic infelicities. "So peaceful here," sighed Hordfo, pointedly referring to the menace ot ms only cousin. And it was peaceful -1.; a noisy Italian way. . "Every time they start him around the world he gets about half-way and buys something—and has to come back to explain about it. Last time it was an opera company—at Shanghai, 1 think." . , , "But this time it may not be so— Even as I began this weak speech ot encouragement there entered the square a procssion that caused us to shrink hastily into the doorway of the wmeFirst, there marched stiffly two of our local constabulary. Behind these progressed the carroza of Pepino, and this was flanked by two more of our Capri policemen. These also marched stiffly, with a sort of troubled importance. And Pepino drove his little Sardinian, horse, Garibaldi, with an air. Garibaldi could never, have been a difficult animal, even in hottest youth; he must always have been sedate, humble, willing, and slothful. And he is very old now, for ail his gay trappings of metal and the pheasant plume that nods jauntily from his reverend brow. But Pepino was driving with an extravagant display ot caution, reins. taut, whip impending feet braced, with watchful looks, and warning "Ahs!"—as . if Garibaldi were a very devil- of a beast, awaiting his least chance to dash madly up or down a cliff. , , Behind this carroza inarched an eager chorus of villagers; these, too, wore airs of importance—pleased importance. They were not only beholding _ a spectacle, but were in a way assisting. "I "told you so!" hissed Horace, clutching my arm. ri ■ Ind.-ed, :t looked so. William Dexter Freeman lolled in lordly state in Pepino's carriage. This might have meant much or little; but beside William, stiffly erect, rode a veritable carabiniere, a notable member of ltaly s most impressive body of police, a brilliantly uniformed, splendidly plumagea personage with a. gallant black moiistache and terrible eyebrows. We saw that he belonged m .Naples. In Capri we must preserve law and order much less splendidly. And why had this golden vision with the hr.tot rook's plumage crossed tlie bay'. "He's been arrested again,' moaned Horace. , I questioned this. \\ llliam s bearing was not that of the overtaken. It was far from that if yon looked closely. He wore as a garment the air _of bored royalty parading a village of his despised serfs. He vawned. He stared superciliously at the new accession to his train ;• for the Punchinello audience had thronged about his chariot the moment it appeared, deserting the drama 1 at its very climax. And there was that in xlie bearing of William's um-

formed attendants that stamped tliem as an honorary escort rather than vulgar captors. In place of surveillance they showed pride of office. The ornate official who rode with William revealed the anxiety of one responsible for large matters. He combined a slavish deference to William with jealous attention to a cylindrical case of tin which he clasped to his splendid breast. And yawned and gazed superciliously over the heads of the awed populace. No longer did we fear recognition. There was a glaze in the stare of William; an apparent difficulty in the focussing of his vision. He would look upon us, yet see us not. I divined that his eyes were not co-ordinating. Slowly the procession wound through the square and turned down the narrow way that leads to the hotel for which William was hound. The populace clattered joyously after it, leaving only ourselves and a cynical showman; but the latter, emerging from his box, forsook his art and followed the crowd. He, too, was but human. "Now you see!" said Horace vindictively. I had to confess that I did. Denial would have been too absurd. Wo waited enough minutes for "William to hecome securely housed. Then we followed in his wake.

The procession had' struck the solid front of the hotel and been flattened by the impact. Ranged along the front of the building it peered through the windows. Horace slunk down the Via Tragara while I squeezed th.rough the populace until I had a- fair view of the hotel lobby. William was pledging a health in champagne to his escort, whili the plenteous hotel staff in frock coats hovered about respectfully but not without an evident anxiety. William had not lost his air of boredom. He was performing the offices of hospitality, but without any proper elation. His tall frame drooped at the shoulders. His long, liony face was haggard with weariness. He sipped from his glass languidly. Then I saw him accost the concierge with a show of impatience. The door of the hotel opening at that moment, I heard him demand that Els friends and relatives should be sent for; also his assertion that he wanted no nonsense about it. I relinquished my post to a, native and fled into the dusk. 111. The hotel was again an orderly hotel when we passed in our way home that night. William had retired, at least beyond the lobby, and his gilded entourage was no longer visible. By the time we were ascending the one hundred and eighty-eight steps to the Villa of the Pour Winds I had

brought myself to regard the incident as closed and was urging Horace to this view. He professed' to be hopeful as I parted from him. His hope was that William would commit a crime of violence during the night and be duly sequestered therefor. If it were murder so Tnnch the better. Horace, at monlents, can be an extremist. Then at my own door I was met with a card:

L. TALLEN DE BERTOUT Publiciste Syndic de la Presse Militaire La Patrie • 19 Rue de L'TJnivcrsite

% The gentleman, awaited me. He had waited three hours. He was a short, rotund man of middle age, with a moustache quite military and bristling and the pink eyes of a ferret. He seemed to be on the point of bubbling. He arose, bowed deeply, and asked if I spoke French. I spoke enough to ask if he spoke English. We compromised earnestly, even laboriously. I discovered that he would interview me: (1) concerning the rich personality of one Baron Lord Bill Dexter Freeman, Dauphin and County Recorder; (2) concerning my relations, oflicial or otherwise, with His Imperial Majesty the Mikado of Japan; (3) concerning a hinted diplomatic encounter between the rulers of said Japan and Germany; (4) as to the precise meaning of the English word "thell," a word he had failed to discover in the dictionaries at hand.

I promptly sought to interview my caller. I desired to be told immediately what William Dexter Freeman had been up to now. I was met with skilled evasions. Observing this, I too, became evasive. I confessed to but the slightest acquaintance with the Baron Lord B. D. Freeman, Dauphin and. County Recorder. And I declined, with a subtle finesse, to speak of my relations, official or otherwise, with the Japanese Government. . „

"It is not a matter I may speak free- ; ly about at the present time," I said coldly. "Thell?" suggested the pubhciste ] winninglv. I looked blank. He withdrew from J a pocket and handed to me a copy of William's telegram from Naples. There . it was: "Thell with Germany!" I had forgotten. I had not thought of the word as "thell." .. I continued evasive. I said everything depended on how the word was used. It might mean one thing; then it might mean another. It depended upon the context, the inflection, the nuance. I should be rash to define its meaning in the present instance. It was a word that could hardly be explained to a foreigner. . .. My caller accepted this with a sniile of deep understanding, as one divinuig the delicacies, perhaps dangers, of my position; yet as one determined to have the truth, palter as I might. . He withdrew, with profuse apologies, after learning that early the next morning I purposed to pay my respects to Baron Lord Freeman, D. and O. K. He intimated that on the morrow he would expect to find me less reticent. "Why should a wandering French, iournalist be conducting himself in this manner? "What, in short,,had Bill Freeman been doing now ? : iv. ; When I entered the hotel the next morning at nine I saw that something had occurred but a moment before. Back in the hall that leads from the spacious lobby, the itinerant French journalist and the proprietor of the hotel were talking excitedly above an indistinguishable object on the floor. I did not understand that part of the talk that was vocalised, but -it was a, minor part and negligible. Tliey spoke also with their hands, arms, shoulders, eyebrows and moustaches; and this was singularly illuminating. Bill had done something else. _ " , ~ As I approached them I saw that the object of their concern was. a framed portrait of his Imperial Majesty, William 11. of Germany. Violence had been done to it and a porter was sweeping up broken glass; but the royal eyes still frowned gallantly from the wreck. I recognised the'portrait as one-that had hung in the state apartment. It is an excellent apartment with a southern exposure. William 11. and 1 have both occupied it in our times; and it costs twelve lire a, clay, including service. I perceived that William JJ. Freeman must be its present tenant; also, that the portrait of the German emperor had not commended itself to '""He has but now relinquish it passionately through the door!' exclaimed signore the landlord as I approached. "Baron Lord Becl Dextair Freeman—thell weeth Germanee!" added the French journalist, with an air of deep significance. "He say. lie feel to box swiftly to the earth all mans that would endeavour to "replace that object," continued the landlord, with a piteous gesture toward the portrait." "Thell weeth Germanee; repeated the iournalist cunningly ; "that wishes to say some trouble for Germanee—ye"This is not," I said stiffly, "a matter I can discuss in the corridor of ajioted. And I knocked at the door of the state : "Allez! Allez! Get out of there!" So I went in . W 7 illiam Dexter Freeman sat up in bed and readjusted a turban that lie had fashioned from one of the, hotel towels. Then he spoke. "Trouble with a hangover—maybe you don't- dream you have it at all. You get up feeling fine.' I rrjanced throueli the pass doors that "open on the hvoad balcony The highly caprisoned official from Naples was pacing this, his hand on his sworrl. I turned to William. "If you have anything to say, 1 began severely, say it now. "Have you had any breakfast?"

"Not a drop; but I will. A brandy and soda, I think, with about a thousand little lumps of ice." I opened the door narrowly and gave the order to the landlord, the publiciste, and the porter who swept broken glass. "Now then," I said, returning to William'. "What day is it?"

"This is Monday." "Which Monday?" . "No specific Monday that I know of —just the Monday that would come along generally after Sunday that was yesterday. If you're looking for some particular Monday I'm no expert in chronology. Have you anything to say?" "I want that brandy and soda before it is Tuesday. I thought at first he was making trouble about the zebras.". "Who was?' ' ''

"That boy out there, with the gold vest and the Easter bonnet." He waved to the official who still patrolled the balcony and who .was joined at that moment, I noted, by the publicists. They fell into step together after a guarded glance through the glass doors. The drink came and I, conferred it upon William.

"Now," I admonished him, "try to wash those zebras out of your mind, tell me how it began." His eyes rested gratefully on mine over the top of the glass. "It began oh the German liner last night out," he said, as I took the glass from him. "Well?" ;

"Last night out, you understand; and I went to bed early—early and sober—-mind that. They said it was the liaiser's birthday, but I didn't care. Of course all the Germans cared. They started with punch after dinner. About one o'clock they thought I ought to care too; so they came down and got me. I was sleepy and wouldn't dress, but they wrapped me in a blanket and carried me up; and then they forced me to drink that punch. Well, anyway, they forced me at first. And I did have a 'nasty cold So I thought after a while it might be good for that. I'm no hypocrite, like, old Uncle Dave Freeman, iHe drinks a lot of those patent medi- | cines for the alcohol in them, but I ; drink alcohol for the medicine that's in it. We both get results; but I'm honest about it. And this punch cured me, 'too, right away. After an hour or two I hadn't a sign of a cold; but 1 wasn't taking a chance. I stayed right there and made sure I was cured; and I helped them sirig German songs and so forth. I was as German as anybody. Whenever they gave me. a full of punch I'd say 'Haben sie nacli einer?' and they'd all laugh in the pleasantest way. I was going to her come a German citizen next day—arid we talked that all over and about what I must do to get to be one. „At seven o'clock I was crying on the shoulder of a smoking-room steward because I hadn't been born a German. Then the lights went out; and after I got dressed they dropped me off the boat. Never felt better in my life—and I was cold sober, you understand. That punch hadn't seemed to liavo any kick in it." His eyes rested 011 the tall glass an'! I gave it to him. Wlu'ii he had drained it he removed his turban, placed the remnants of ice within its folds and readjusted it. - "Well, I wanted a drink for a bracer the minute I got through the custom house—being up all night that way; a man has to take something if he misseis his sleep. I began to think it was just as well I hadn t been born a German. A man has to sleep sometime, doesn't he?

"In a cab then, watching signs. Pretty soon I saw a place—'American Bar.' Got out and went in. Horrible disappointment! Only things I could see they had were pink buttermilk and cookies with blue sugar on them. Some-: body had been fooling that Italian, you know; telling him he had an American bar. I passed on till we came to the 'real thing—a regular saloon on the square opposite the courthouse and the national bank and the cash store. Tables out in front. Beautiful morning—but I wanted that cocktail! I told the waiter. He said: 'Cogtel—grog American —oh, yes—thank you ver.v much!'

"He brought it in a goblet with two straws —a kind of green and purple drink that smelled of hair-oil and cinnamon ; had a slice of orange in it and some raspberries. " 'Oh, scissors and white aprons!' I said. 'You've gone and left out the egg!' That was meant to crumple him up, understand. But it didn't—not a crump.

"He said lie knew he'd left out the egg; but he was sorry to say the eggs were absolutely fresh that morning. If I'd come round in the afternoon he'd make t-lie real American cocktail and put two eggs in it! "I went inside with him, grasping him firmly by the arm. I made him find me a bottle of vermuth and a bottle of gin. I took the bottles outside to make my own cocktail; but I couldn't get the proportions right. Something was wrong every time I tasted it; too much gin—too much vermuth! I must have tried a number of combinations, for I was there about an hour. But I. gave it up. I thought I'd get along without a cocktail. Messing around that way with the stuff had seemed to take away my thirst. Even at that, the waiter charged me seven lire; tliink of it—a dollar and forty cents for trying to make one cocktail! They certainly do rob Americans. "AVell, then I saw the zebras across the street " "Naturally!" I murmured. "This is no time to be funny. They were zebras —two of them—hitched to an advertising wagon shaped like a big bottle —somebody's nerve food. I weiit across to get them. I was.going to bring them over here and surprise Cousin Horace by driving into his studio with them. I got up oh the seat beside the driver and told him about the fun we'd have, but he got cross and wouldn't let me drive. So I got down and followed him a block till he made the next stop. Then while he was busy talking to a policeman I skipped ; "up into the seat and drove off. I'd hqvo gotten over here if another cop hadn't headed me off. The two policeman anid the driver told me they weren't for sale. The driver seemed to think I'd meant to steal them, and looked rnad r when he drove off. But I fixed it all. right with the cops. They were good fellows and seemed to know just how. I felt. Then my cabman that had been following me came along, so I went\ph up the hill to a hotel. . t , "It was Beautiful up there, the town spreading off below like a red and white checkerboard and the street cries droning softly up—everything'so peaceful and lovely. So I had some cocktails out on the terrace;: and, after they'd tried four or five times aiid 1 learned to leave out the grenadin syrup and the patchouli, they made very good ones. Then I sent the telegram to you. "I must say they'd been a little:'frit ' cold to me up to then; but the minute I handed that telegram to the'man' in the hotel office the whole staff began rubbing their hands at me. They pdt me into a large gold apartment and nursed me with delicacies; and they kept the man who had learned about cocktails waiting, at the door. Oh, they did a variety of things for mel -r, "But that wasn't anything to what came when I went down to ■ take the carriage for the boat. Guess'what I found! Why, that boy out there with ' the gold cables and red feathers! ■■■ ■ " 'Pinched on account of the zebras!' I says to myself. So I started in to ex- > plain that I had never meant to purloin i the pretty creatures, but he" only took i off his Easter bonnet and. bowed nine ■ times with one hand on his sword and smiled kind of foolish and helped.* me i into the carriage- Then he was anxious i .about the bags- I —got.'em all, in; and >there's a tin case over there' that lie f clung to as if Kis next month's pay of ' eleven dollars and forty, cents—in our inside of it.

"I couldn't see why he wanted to

ride to the boat with me, but I wasn't worried. I can see now that I wasn't in shape to worry over anything. Then we reached the boa t_ and I'm getting ready to tell him a dibs and many happy returns and be sure to write often; but he clings to me —and especially to the tin case. I am escorted up to the captain's boudoir, a deckhand unlocks it and my bags are put inside. Then Pietro of the abundant embellishments planted himself outside the door and grew there during the voyage—yes, sir, with one hand on his sword, for two hours, looking so fierce and fancy he was almost better than the zebras. I couldn't even get him to leave for a drink. So I brought him things from

tinleto time, now and again, and forced ;<3gar£ttes on him. The only va«ue thSng'l could wrench from his garbled discourse was that 1 might have my head cut- off but for him. 1 thoughtthe fellow had been drinking. "Well, then we landed, and someplain island cops that seemed to lie waiting for us marched up and walke'i beside us through the avenues oi your delightful little" city—and here 1 am. Now, then, what's the answer? 1 William readjusted his ice-toque and j beamingly waited for me to read the riddle. "What has happened this morning.' I asked. . ' "Nothing but my hea'i. It s still happening." "But that picture outside?" "Oh, that! Why. I -saw it when I came to a little while ago —that's ail. What would you have done—remembering that a lot of crazy Germans had started you—ii you woke up and saw that? 1 landed a shoe in the middle of his. face and it iell down and then I got np and grappled with it and got it out into the ha I! after a fierce struggle. That's all of that. But why the pomp and ceremony ? \\ by those?" He pointed through the glass doors to where the Naples dignitary and the French journalist regarded us furtively. "That other one, that French lad, has sent me his card eight times. I'll soon have enough to play solitaire with. Why him?" . , "Bill." I said, after a moment s able thought, ' what have you in yonder tin case that your befeathered friend was so watchful of. "Plumes," answered my friend—"os- . trich plumes to make ladies' millinery 6ut of. That's what-. Peaches, tool" "Peaches?" "Peaches of plumes-—got 'em in. Port Said for Aunt Lut-etia. She's a good old sport—always take her something. Look 'em over if yon want to see what keep women from voting." I crossed the room and took up the case. As I did so I became aware of agitation on the part of jthe two watchers outside. They ceased pretending to look at the scenery. The journalist grasped the arm of the caiabiniere, the latter grasped his sword, and they both edged nearer the glass doors. I affected not to observe this. I removed the cap from the tin cylinder, caught the ends of the plumes and drew them swiftly forth with , a flourish —three splendid plumes, dazzling white, beautifully curled. I held them, aloft and glanced out at the' watchers. They were staring frankly now, their-faces at the glns-\ sirring in open-mouthed consternation. I waved the plumes and spokes words of admiration to William. The watchers vanished.

• "I am going to find out the answer," I said,-and went quickly into the lobby. The martial vision from Naples had sank low in a chair, his;head bowed, his royal moustache drooping. The journalist- and signore the landlord conversed violently. I approached them. ""Why?"! demanded eloquently. - . "Thell weeth Germanee?" the journalist remarked interrogatively. "Meesitch from - Mikado!" interjected signore the landlord. -"Why?" I demanded again. "Now I shall tell you the why," they cried" in concert. They began to recite at times simultaneously. '"He shall breeng meesitch from Mikado of Japan " "Thell weeth Germanee —"

"He shall not be confused, incompetent/drink mooch; he shall lose, perhaps, 5 that messitch; it shall be sayed that spies of Italee —" ■ "Thell weeth Germanee " . "It; shall make troub* of nations .if so—yass—mooch troub' —he lose in ■ltalee— —" - "Thell with Germanee " - "The bureau of the hotel in Napleswho read messitch by telegraph when die is wrote, they have make suddenly informations to the Municipio and they have goodly provide escort of the police, who not molest nor him robbed nor him life lose. - He half guard messitch, ho half watch- "

"Thell is Engli' word—im vrai motanglais, n'est-ce-pas?" . 'se fine, then, some fedders where «Tin?f be messitch —fedders but only! He .Baf fear a' head be cut of Baron Lord Beel-—"

'.lt was no time to be explicit. "listen!" I said. "The Baron Lord William wishes me to convey his thanks to the Municipio of Naples and to its brave representative, but the fact is this: the message from his Majesty the Mikado was delivered to my agent- in Naples yesterday morning; he came to purchase a team of Italian zebraiT" for his'august master —" . "Thell weeth " . "Thell —written, by the way, with an apostrophe after the 't'—means, 'May Rood.fortune be!' - There you have it: 'May good fortune' be with Germany!' Baron Lord William, has loved Ger- ''' "Tlens. tiens! Mais alors, pourquoi a-t-il lache—for why haf he put to the porte : one tableau of German Emper6r?"' - "I' will tell you in strictest secrecy," I said. ' - Signiire the landlord withdrew a few nobly veiling his reluctance. .. JiTKis must not be published," I warned. "The eyes of the journalist glistened, but--he~ drew himself proudly erect, as <Jne who would stoop to no betrayal. • i!ilt>'is a very simple-matter. _ \ou will see it all at a word from me." ' "I have so much impatience, monsieur." "On your honor, monsieur?" . "Can monsieur doubt?" "Then," I wliisjiered, "the Baron Lord -William, Dauphin and County Reeocder.: sees not well at a little distance. He'-inistook the portrait for that of the President of the French Republic.". 'Rudely I tore myself from his quick graspt- He was hissing explosions as I hurriedly closed the door of William's apartment on him.' "' t "Bill I said, "you have been the recipient of international courtesies which-you do not deserve and are in no condition to appreciate." "It's so peaceful hero," murmured William, "I think I'll have a long, cold braridy and soda." - "Bill," I said firmly, "it's so peaceful here I think you won't!"