Modern Science.

Oamaru Mail, Volume XIX, Issue 5953, 24 May 1894, Page 4

Modern Science.

A SMALL MATTER. A Detroit man, noted for his very serious and earnest manner, went out not long ago with his wife to find apartments, j After a time they found a pleasant place I and had agreed to take it. j "By the way," said the forgot to ask if you had any children ?" "We have a boy," responded the mother. "Indeed? I'm very sorry," protested the landlady, " but I cannot permit any children to come into my house." " Oh, that will be all right," said the gentleman encouragingly, but with great seriousness, " We can fix that with very little trouble, indeed. We will just kill the boy," and they went on to other places which, like heaven, suffer little children to come unto them and forbid them not. he was posted. At 11 o'clock the other night a dainty young man, with a step as mincing as a rabbit's, was sailing down the Woodward Avenue with an umbrella over his head when a policeman said : "Yoa don't expect a thunder shower, do you ?" "No, thir, I don't expect a thunder shower," replied the young man. "Did'nt know but you were carrying that umbrella to keep ofi the rain." " No, thir. I am carrying thith umbrella to keep the frost off my ears, thir. The frost makes a fellah's ears look red, don't ye know, and red ears ith not the style, you thee, and so I carry the umbrella, ye understand. Good night, thir." REMEDIAL ART. The horse was baulking and backing all over Woodward avenue and a chappie with a pretty girl by his side was watching its performances. " I think," remarked the young woman, " that they ought to send it to the art school." " To the art school V queried the chappic, without the faintest idea of his companion's meaniug. "Certainly." " And why, pway 1" "To cultivate the talent for drawing, of course. Don't you think it needs it 1" and the chappie caught on several hours later. IT WAS SHORT. A man lost a bag of potatoes off his wagon as he came into the city yesterday morning, and as he did not become aware of his loss till he had reached the market, he felt that it was useless to go back in search. He was feeling the loss very keenly until he suddenly realized that there was a bright side to it. Then his face put on a smile, and he chuckled : "Come te think of it, it was one of them two-bushel bags which didn't have but a bushel and a half in, and the finder will git swindled out of a half bushel, at least '."