OUR LADIES' COLUMN.

Oamaru Mail, Volume XV, Issue 4688, 7 June 1890, Page 4

OUR LADIES' COLUMN.

Dear Mk Editor,—l have been Invited by a friend to devote one of my letters to the subject of wearing mourning for deceased friends. I accspt the invitation all the more readily because of a conviction that the custom of wearing mourning is one which most sensible people would gladly abandon could they do so without scandalising that übiquitous creature, Mrs Grundy. Mrs Grundy would bo soro to shako ber ridiculous oid bead, and ehrai; her ugly old shoulders nearly op to her hateful old ears, were she to hear that Mrs Spirited declined to weir deepest mourning for the husband whom, in life, ■he loved so fondly, whose stefc-bsd she attended to devotedly, aad whjse toss she ao profoundly laments In the silence and secrecy of ber own heart. And Mrs Grundy would wink her wicked old eye, aa she wblspjred about among her acquaintances that in ail probability Mrs Spirited would not long remain a widow, thai ahe too openly rejoiced at the dread event which had restored her freedom, and that h»r conduct altogether waa objectionable, and worthy of censure.

Kow, Mr Editor, I warn women who may feel Inclined to defy Mrs Grundy, and the public opinion she represents, that they cannot do so without Incurring blame and misrepresentation. Unless they set In the conventional manner, they are bonnd to be " sat upon." But let me reassure them. A woman m»y be ' sat upon " a hundred times over, and still live to " hoist her persecutors." Meanwhile, let us lnok at the question from another print of view. Mrs Spirited may have been left bnt poorly provided far, and may Do compelled to look about her for an opening in life which will enable her to earn ao honest living for herself and bar fatherless children. The pounds she has in hand m»y not go f»r towards paying rent and filling hungry months, and the woman herself may have a horror of debt, and of that convenient mode of defrauding her neighbors, too common, alaa, amongst all classes of society, namely, the ordering of goods with the distinct knowledge that money to pay for them is not, and will not be. forthcoming. Balancing everything in her own mind, Mrs Spirited may decide, aa every upright person would, that sbe> will show greater respect to her husband's memory by paying her way justly and fairly, and endeavoring to uso with extreme carefulness the small sum of money which stands between her and pauperism, than by muffling op her face in a crape veil and spending hsr few pounds in purchasing those trappings of woe which can do no good to the dead, bnt may effectually drag down the living into struggling poverty, or, still worse, to tha surrender of selfrespect. Therefore, I fearlessly advise the woman who Is placed in Mrs Spirited'* position to piy no attention to Mrs Grundy's insinuations, but to invest the foods at her disposal in aemetbing more endurable than a few yards of crape, which the very first shower of rain will utterly ruin. Personally, I regard tha wearing of mournings as a piece of the meres", conventionality, acd it wonld never occur to me to gangs a woman's sorrow by the deptb of her mourciog garb. Our d*.-ar ones know bow sote'y oar hearts Echo with the bitter pain of loss; God, who for His own wise purposes sent the trouble, knows It too. And so, what docs It matter whether or not Mrs Meddlesome lit satisfied with the degree of ostentation we display In announcing our leas to the outside world ? For after all, the world wags oo all the aima thoogh onr poor hearts break, and Is neither better nor worse for knowiog that the desire of our eyes has been withdrawn, and that we mourn and lament in sack-cloth and ashes. Some more tragic death tb,an usual may attract atteotioo for an hour, and then the world's pleasures go on ss before, and we and onr grief are forgotten. How much It cares whether we w<ar crape or not! My readers are donbtlesa aware that the late Charles Dickens had an insuperable objection to all outward displays of grief; to hears**, foneral plumes, mutes, and crape bands. He lost no opportunity of dragging aside the trappings of woe and displaying the conventionality and emptiness within. The lesson he taught was that we aboald earnestly endeavor to do oar duty by the living; speak kindly words to them, and act charitably by them while they were In our midst; love and trait them, care for and reaped them while they could appreciate oar effort?, sad then, when the oil cams for them, sarrecder them to their and our AHloviug Father. Black gowns aad crape bonnets may mako us look interesting, bnt can nevtr atone for nokind or noglcstful conduct, cruel words or base desda. With regard to tbls matter, I wonld much tike to see women rise superior to conventional cuatom. A plain black band oo tils arm fa quite sufficient iatimation to the general public that a near acd dear friend has been removed by death. A woman who cannot well afford herself the luxury of » new dress, bat U forced to ciicaUte clcseiy bo.h ways and maaas, proves herself greatly lacking in common sense as well as c>mmon honesty, when she spends npon a mourning costume the money that should go to the payment of her debts and the supplying of food for her household.

Although by no meats an advocate for the frcqcMtot setting aside of established customs, I would, neverthalejs, like much to see this matter taken op by women of recognised position and means; women possessed of sufficient individuality to maintain their ground, and decline to be coerced into following: the nsusl mode, namely, clothing themselves and their households in deep mourning for the death of a blood relative. Mrs Grundy would surely understand that witb each persons the mourning was one of sound judgment, fixed principle, and considerate example. There could be no question, in their ease, of ways and means—tho immediate relationship woold preclude the possibility of disrespect, and tbo affectionate esteem known to have existed between the parties concerned, would be fatal to the idea of disregard. If the wealthy would act thus for the sake of the poor, the latter class would gladly follow ; but as it Is, they are too weak, too dependant on the opinions of others to hold their own. Like every other band of reformers, they talk and talk, lamenting soda! compulsion, wishing they dare assert themselves, and all the while taking no decisive steps, nntll an individual el marked character comes to the front and proclaims tha new doctrine, which is then embraced «itb eager enthusiasm.

Mother* will be pleased to hear that, amongst the many schemes for ameliorating the hardships of the working classes, there are some which specially deal with little cbildreo. The Queen of Denmark, who is laid to be very charitable, and who has herself had a large family, takes a deep interest in the eatabliahmsnt of children's homes. A yoang colored woman named Marie LaoJse Baldwin has been appointed principal of the Agsstiz School, Cambridge, Massachusetts. Baring graduated with high honors from both the high and trainfog «chools. Miss Baldwin began teaching in the West, showing »ocb marked and brilliant capacity for the work as to earn her present appointment. The Berkeley Ladies' Athletic Club has lately opened its handsome new clnb. house la New York. The reception room are finished and famished in excellent iuts, sad the bowling alley and swimming bath are perfect of their kind. Bat th boast of the dab is its gymnasiam, said t be the most perfectly equipped in exia usee. The Isdy teacher in charge this department Is Miss D. M. Elliot.

In a recent letter, I mentioned Mies NelHo Patcraon, cf Connecticut, as pioneer of a now Industrial branch for women. Miss Pateraon is now working success!ally with lathe and vyca in the factory of the Moan: Carme! Belt Company, and her specialty is tool making, to which she devotes almost her entire Attention.

At Nottingham, in England, the'e has recently been on view thy famous flounce of old raised Venetian point Lee which formerly belonged to Marie Antoinette, and which adorned her dree 3 on tho <"ccision rf her marriage with Louia XVI., then D<upbiu of Francj. The dimensions of ihia fl )UriC3 aro four and a half yarda long by thrc-'-qnarters of a yard wide. It is of matchless design, and is undoubtedly one of the most remarkable examples of hand-made lace in existence.

[ Tired, no doubt, of the constant bunch or wreath of flowers, fashionable young ladies are now wearing only a single flower, without leaves, on their hair or bosom. Although of larger proportions than natural flowers, these great deep red poppies, gold yeilow sunflowers, and pale pinks and pa:isies lnok very weil peeping nut from amidst puffings of lace and tulle. B"3id?s tha blossoms I have enumerated, chrysanthemums are very much worn, and appear to be special favorities. Berlin wcol-work, especially the lighter colors, 13 very apt to catch the dirt; but it may ba cleansed by dipptog and agitating it in a soapy lather. It must on no account bo rubbed or wrunsj ; and when the dirt haa been extracted by tbls means, it must be well rinsed in plenty of water, huug to drip, and then pulled into shape, and stretched to dry. The latest novelty introduced by Parisian modistes is largn biua bntteiflies, not imitation, but the re.-.l foll-B!Z3d trop'cal butterfly, with its natural metallic gloss, snch aa are chiefly, or oniy, found in Mexico.

I resret to say that Miss Ada Ellen Bayley~(Eioa Lyall) is still very unwell. Site had nearly recovered from tha effects of an attack of rheumatic fever, from which she suffered last summer, but, a short time ago, having taken a chill, she again became seriously ill. lam given to understand that she will be unable to undertake literary work for a long time to com?. •

The latest substitute for a bustle is a petticoat tied at the back with a ribbon sash. The skirt is of wadded satin, and hang 3 with just sufficient stiffness to keep the skirt of the dress from limpness. A very nice gift for a lady friend is a handkerchief sachet and nightdress bag of good plush, with her initials or monogram worked upon it in silks. Tbey should be nicely finished with lace and bows of ribbon.

The historical pearl necklaco which the late Empress Augusta has left to the yonng German Empress consists of no less than seventeen rows of pearls. Of these, two rowa are composed of absolutely white pearls, whilst the others are grey. A fashionable entertainment of the present hour Is tho " kitten " party, to which no married people are invited. AH the young ladte3 dress for a " kitten " party in pare white, and the evening is spent in dancing, singinz, and playing games, with a nice supper ab int twelve o'clock. The following recjipa makes delldouß miizeoa cakes :—lib maizana, Mb sugar, jib butter, 4 eggs, 1 teaspoonful carbonate of soda, 2 teaspoonfuls cream of tartar, and a few drops of essecca of lemon. Beat tbe butter to a cream, add the maizsna, and mix thoroughly. Have ready tbe eggs and sugar, well beaten, and gradually add them, carefully beating away all lumps. Braise the soda and cream of tartar very 'smoothly, and stir it and the essenca in last thing. Bake as a cake, or in patty tins, if preferred, in a rather briok oven.

Boned and roast shoulder of mutton. Remove tho bone, and stuff tho shoulder with the following : 4ozi bread crumbs, I'Z chopped suet, 1 large tablespoouful chopped parsley, a little thyme, sage, and mint, i teaapooofal salt, ditto pepper, I'iZ fl jar, and 1 egg, or a little milk or water to bind the ingredients. Roll up the shoulder, and roast. Ssrve with a nice brown sauce.

It is said that anything that is accidently made too salt can be counteracted by adding a tablespooofal of sugar and a teaspoonful of vinegar. I am, dear Mr Editor, Yours trnly, Veronica.