A SERIOUS JUDGE.

Oamaru Mail, Volume I, Issue 290, 28 March 1877, Page 4

A SERIOUS JUDGE.

Our own magistrates often delight the ctticials of their con.ct.-i by their witticisms ; Unit their humor is not to be compared with that of their brethren, of the United States. Tliti other day, according t<> the Detroit Free FiTn;t r " a little bit of a man, •wearing a billions-looking plug hat," ami speaking in child-like tones, was ptaced in the the dock. "Why for, thou seedling V* inquired the judge, looking up. **l'*tt a prisoner, but I'm entitled to be treated with respect," squeaked the tittle many standing on his tiptoes and growing red; in the face. " Ilespectfutly your obedient servant," replied Ids Honor, waving his hand around with inimitable grace. " £ won't be made fun of—l tell yon I won't !" squeaked the prisoner. "Fun ! fun !" repeated the judge. '" Sir, this- is a serious world, with- tour pounds of heartache to one old-fash- . loned grir. IN'o, sir, f sec no fun >fc.ere. The charge is being dmnk and thing.."' "'"Who says I got dnmk I" squealed the little man ; '" wtit>- says I raiaed a great row I It in a conspiracy to get me out of the neighbourhood." "Prisoner at the bar," said his Honor when the evidence was ail in-, " now b the time to make a fourth of .fuly speech if Vol? are ever going to make one. If you hav© any evidence hurl it at me." Sihn.e. "Darius Worthington Jones," resumed the judge, after waiting for an answer, "yon are chalked for sixty days. Yon Won't set out any onions this spring, and you; won't be around when the first "circus strikes Detroit.. May Day will find yon m&fcing chairs, and June berries will have ripened; and vanished ere we gazj upon flounced this'EWttue M V £}l P 1 l )U '- ©i waggishness remained in, his voice; «aelk word that fell from his lips was pitched in a tone befitting the solemnity «f the occasion. The tuipressiveuess of the scene was much heightened by the sttltfdfett transition from "gay to- grave," and the diminutive prisoner was removed from the fear in a state of speechless horror.