RANDOM NOTES.

Oamaru Mail, Volume I, Issue 206, 18 December 1876, Page 2

RANDOM NOTES.

" A chiel's amang- ye takin' notes, An' faith he'il prtnt *em." —Burns.

By MAGGUFFIN.

A few of tl.e Duntdin papers are considerably exercised —and with good reason too—at the L'aily Times being the succesful tenderer for the Government advertisements. To those who indulge in smart practices, it is neither consoling nor satisfactory to find that there are others far smarter than themselves, and that while they illusively hug the delicious idea that t'.ey are stealing a march upon tlieii neighbors, the very reverse is the case, and the tables are completely turned. One of the unsuccessful journals in particular rejoices in the possession of a servant whose insinuating manners and persuasive powers are looked upor as perfectly irresistible ; and no matter whether it be a hesitating advertiser to be cajoled, or a mystery to be penetrated, the gentleman —whose name is not Brown—is deemed by his employers invincible." Notwithstanding this formidable opposition, however, the interests of the Daily Times do not appear to suffer, as the following story will show, for the truth of which we are prepared to vouch:—Hearing that "the snapper up of unconsidered trifles" had been making secret inquiries as to what would be the figure at which the Times would tender, the gentleman in whose hands vhat branch has been placed told certain persons—but under the most solemn pledges of secrecy—a rate considerably above the actual amount of their estimate. The professional " pump " whose name is not Robinson —lit upon his quarry, and so well were his wheedling powers exercised, that in defiance of honor and pledge the supposed secret of the Times was imparted to the oppositon paper. Of course it was distinctly understood between informant and informed that it was most positively inter se, and that no professional use should be made of the information. Ido not wish for a moment to insinuate that my inquisitive friend was false to his promise, yet it is something more than a coincidence that previous to his departure for Wellington as the seat of war he was heard to give long odds on his success, and also that when the tender of the paper he represented was opened it was founci a shade below the supposed rate of the Times, but unfortunately in excess of the bond jide tender. My wheedling friend is very properly indignant at the deception practised upon him, and inveighs in eloquent strains upon the duplicity of those who go about without any respect for the truth, scattering falsehoods broadcast over the breadth of the land.. My nameless friend was hoist with his own petard with a vengeance, and even yet the tender question is a " tender" subject in more senses than one.

Who would not be a dog in Oamaru ! During the past week a vagrantly-inslined canine, infantile in its age and dwarfish in its appearance, thought proper to desert its bed and board, and immediately the whole machinery of, government was shaken to its foundation, and the three departments of the Police, the Telegraph, and the Railway were called into requisition to remedy the disaster. It was fortunate, indeed, that the offending animal was of such diminutive proportions, for if the offence be magnified by the bulk of the offender it is something hop-jble to. contemplate what would have been the re-: suit Tfere a Newfoundland to have been the leading spirit of this canine elopement. Telegrams were sent flying the Canterbury police with descriptions of the nassing one, and its supposed abductor; the Canterbury police were sent flying to intercept the guilty pair ; and the partner of the animal's flight was captured near Christcburch, and returned in custody of one of the guardians of the neighboring Province, but minu3 the dog. Brought up in Court the delinquent was charged with the outrage, numerous witnesses were - examined, voluminous evidence taken; the size, color, habits, and disposition of th§ runaway were detailed with most minute exactness; but the Court was powerless until the lost canine was recovered—it was like the play of "Hamlet " with the Danish Prince omitted. In this frightful state of aifairs, the police

nobly came to the rescue, and deliberation of the magnitude /oiV Aundertaking and the weight of respoß®, bility involved, the Bench was informal, that if the case were adjourned a spec* constable would be despatched to solve tjJ mysterious disappearance, and bring animal into Court dead or alive. Relieves from the perplexing dilemma the CoiJ gave a sigh of relief for the twenty-foj hours' respite afforded before being callJ upon to give judgment on so grave a easel and the delinquent was relegated back J his cold cell. Next day, the erring oj was still at large, but the chain of evidenc-l was made more complete fcy the testimon* of a railway official, produced at much isl convenience, who declared with solemnity to the fact of the abductor and abductejl being on terms of intimacy in the train, thafl they were evidently travelling in companyM and that the prisoner defrayed the tra-B veiling expenses of both. The malefactoil once more returned to durance vile : the! Canterbury custodian departed across thel border, and there was sadness in thel family of the bereaved, and sorrow in thel camp of the polica at the non-professionall success. When, Eureka! Joy! Oncel more the electric spark flashes along thel wires with the glad tidings that the lostl one io found, very dirty, very wretched,! but still alive and penitent. In the uni-| versal joy which the glorious news dis-l seminates, there is no room for punish-1 ment: the police refuse to prosecute, the I wanderer is clasped to the femininel bosom of its owner, and Lord Chief Justice Cockburn did not close his note-book at the conclusion of the Tichborne trial with a greater sense ®f relief than our local Justice laid down his pen as the door of the dock was opened for the exit of the accused. If dearly-bought experience should at all prove salutary, I imagine this unfortunate victim of misplaced affection will in future be careful to give diminutive canines of a free-making disposition a particularly wide berth. Was lat the public examinations I Certainly I was, and the proceedings caused me to look back through a vista of—— well, more years than I care to mention, to those times when I, too, with juvenile display, used to retail the heroism of "Casabianca" or "The Burial of Sir John Moore." Since the night of the exhibition, I have been on the horns of a dilemma as to which to award the palm—the excellence of the competitors, or the scandalous behaviour of a portion of the juvenile audience. As I feel convinced, from the extreme satisfaction evinced "by the public, there is every probability of similar exhibitions taking place year after year, I would suggest, that, in future, admission be by ticket. By such a course, all those who really take an interest in the proceedings would be able to enjoy them, while the objectionable element would thus be excluded. In spite of the annoyance I felt, no doubt in common with many others, I could not repress a smile at the reply made to an appeal for silenoa from the Mayor. The owner of the voice, if one were to judge from its shrill piping sound, could not have seen lialf-a-dozen years, aud yet, unabashed amid the silence whic;i succeeded t;ie request, with an air of commendation worthy of fifty, came the remark, " Bravo, Steward ; that's right, old boy." I£ self-confidenci bj an ingredient of success, most of our Colonial boys start with a good handicap in the rac-i of life.