RANDOM NOTES.

Oamaru Mail, Volume I, Issue 55, 24 June 1876, Page 2

RANDOM NOTES.

By MAGGUFFIN. ♦ " A duel's amang ye takin* notes, An' faith he'il preut 'em." " TOUCHING THAT LITTLE ' ACCOUNT." i " Birds in their' little nests agree ;" so sang the immortal Dr. Wliat's-his-name ; but although the bard makes no mention of the fact, I am convinced that the period at -which the greatest xmanimity prevails is during the pleasing process of " feathering " the aforesaid diminutive habitations. Well, bipeds as well as birds, " feather their nests " occasionally, and the pleasure derived from the pleasing occupation is productive of much unanimity between the parties concerned. Should anyone be at all sceptical on the point they need but glance at the correspondence just published between Sir Julius Vogel and his Fidus Achates, the Hon. Dr. Pollen. If unanimity be a test, and there be any truth in the peace-loving Watt, a few of the doves which nestle in the Ministerial Ark have been engaged in a pleasant and profitable occupation. In a former note I pointed out the remarkable reticence of the Vice-regal speech with regard to Sir Julius's little torn-. In doing so, however, or rather in expecting that any such allusion would have been made, I did the perspicacity of the worthy knight a grievous wrong, and only proved my own inability to plumb the depth of a great mind. The wily and astute Premier knew a trick worth two of that. So instead of making his little account an item in the gubernatorial programme, it was modestly kept in the background, until the opposing forces had met, and the din of battle had been heard; then by a neat, side-wind stroke of policy, the Colony is made aware of the Minister's bill. Placing myself in his enviable position, I imagine myself addressing my bosom friend Magginness, and working the oracle in the following style:— [copy.] From the Hon. Murtough Magguffin to Hon. Michael Magginnis. "Dear Magginnis,— You recollect that when I left the Colony to visit the old dart, besides the usual allowance granted to Ministers and Commissioners, a grateful country, mindful of the dignity of my position, and the honoured name of which I am a sharer, voted a special additional allowance of £1,500. This I found totally inadequate wherewith to observe the dignity becoming one whose ancestors were Rings in the good old times. I find, therefore, that I have outrun the constable to the extent of £2,500. As you hold the purse-strings, and can tip the ' blarney,' just put the ' comether ' on those that cut up obstroperous, and tell them of the honours and title showered upon them through- me.—Yours truly, Magguffin." [copy.] "Hon. M. Magginnis to Hon. Murtough Magguffin. " Dear Magguffin,—Yours to hand; but tear an' agers, haven't you been going it. I am afraid there'll be a divil of a row, so if you could give a few of the items regarding your attendance on royalty, it might be a sweetener. However, you may rely upon me to sound your praises, and make believe you are dirt cheap at the money.—l am, ever yours, Magginness. " [copy.] Magguffin, &c, &c, to Magginnis, &c, &c. "Dear Magginnis,—You are a-perfect brick; many thanks for your kind intentions ; nevertheless, it will never do to furnish a bill of particulars, for—although you need not let it go farther—a night at poker with Phil. O'Flaherty, of Knockskinabout, was the dearest commodity I purchased. Bad luck to him. To give Featherstone his due, he stood Sam without a query; but whether he saw through my special telegrams or not, he never winked an optic. In recasting up my expenses (wishing to be particular), I find a mistake of a quarter of a thou, (against myself, of course) ; so as there is you say likely to be a fuss over it, just add that to it, and make it a lump sum of £4,250.

Yours fraternally, Magguffin. " [copy.] Magginniss to Maguffin. "Dear Mag,—Right you are, old boy. We may as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb, and we can well afford to let them storm as they chose ; for as the money is all spent, that is all the satisfaction they are likely to receive. Between you and I, Ido not like to "bell the cat," so I will excise the confidential and private portions contained in this correspondence, and then publish it. That will take the sting out of it.—

Yours, Magginnis." Now, I don't for a moment mean to say that the honorable the Premier's name is Maggufhn ; nor his confrere, Magginniss, but yet a perusal of the document appearing in the columns of the " Otago Daily Times" would lead to that supposition; for although its tone has the true diplomatic ring in it, it is quite patent the modus operandi of pulling the strings is precisely the same. And still there will be found some to cavil at the cost, never pausing to think the sacrifices those who serve their country in the arena of politics are called upon to make,