The Critic

NZ Truth, Issue 1273, 24 April 1930, Page 4

The Critic

DAR-KNELL of doom; at least for 1 two! * * # TEACHING must be an industry, for . it raises cane and blisters. THE hand that rocks the cradle may rule the world, but m some circles the hand that rules' the woman is usually a boot! * • # • THE law is a wise ass that feeds on wild oats. *. # * A, FARMER at Matamata announces that his cows give more milk at the evening r session, when the radio loud speaker is broadcasting. — They enjoy their 1Y hay! * # # A WATER-DIVINER states that.he is irresistibly drawn towards an underground spring. Frothblowers feel the same urge towards a beer-pump! * # * A PATIENT, states that time passes j rx very slowly m a dental surgery. This is probably due to things being drawn out! j # * * COME wives spend too much time m " front of a glass and their hubbies too much time behind one. * # * . ■" A BUTCHER may- not have a stake m the country, but some of them have plenty of steaks m the town. * * , * rHARGED with stealing Easter eggs a lad explained, to the magistrate that he had beeri "egged on" by his companion. * * * A CONTEMPORARY reporting a recent race m Sydney states that Amounis (second) ' meat' Nightmarch by a neck. Made mince-meat of him, m fact! * # # "CKIRTS are to be woi;n longer." This is a relief. "We once thought they were to be no longer worn. * # # A TN view of the increased death duties of the Snowden Budget it is understood that Englishmen are beginning to doubt whether it is worth while dying. *# . * "^LL is not gold that glitters." So far as some women's hair is concerned it is peroxide.' * * #■ HUSBAND described his wife as a tip-top mixer m society. Evidently quite expert with the cocktail shaker! *# . # LI ELL hath no fury like a woman's corns at a bargain sale! * # '#' ■ PHILOSOPHER recently said: "Women are the sweet parenthesis of life." Then he came to a "full stop." ■*' * # QF every 100 people who travel without buying a ticket, S5 per cent, are said to be women. They are usually considei-ed to be more economical than men. '.# * • * pABLE news: "The American delegates did most of the talking m the disarmament parleys." The Nasal Conference. .