" SPOILT" CHILDREN

NZ Truth, Issue 1233, 18 July 1929, Page 20

" SPOILT" CHILDREN

■OPJicj , Utter .Futility .of sJ||^re]p©ated JDon- ts

FIRM, . BUT : .KIND -CONTROL

(Plunket Society Articles— No. 8)

■ - :;,We still see: "spoilt" children, and oli! the pity of it, the wastage of energy, the loss of love! I| parents would but realise Ihe plain meaning •of the term "spoilt" ! It is worth some reflection.' : : ■■; -:, ,

EyERYONE grasps the full signific&nW of spoiling a dress or spoil- ; r .'ling '> a ; dinner, but the spoiling of a child ;Uiv regarded:. more, lightly! ■ .Unselfishness and altruism are not the. natural outcome of habitual self-indulgence—-which, m ■•plain-; terms, v is what means and' leads to: >\ it'n/e^'ns : 'selfishness and-thought-lessrie'ssall round. Parents 'who, habituajly^poil their children usually do so m?; they lack the' strength to 'discipline themselves to, train- their children inihab'its of self- control arid unselfishness. s , ' ■■'.: ; ' : \ iThej&ichoose the. easy 1 , way; ,and later on,' ! Jhe- chance's are' their children m turn iifili choose thfe easy %yay— the way whicti-'Vriay " lead 'to "dishonor and to failur^'in big or little" ways:;, -.' ■ . > ■ •HeiSepis a pithy -little - extract' frdm a recenjt* issue, of; X.i fe f and; Health which bears^iipon this subject. , '"•■■; fear'ents who are spoiling^ their childreft! would do we.ll to stop a^d consider soifl#£ot the points;, which ; are given as foJIQWs: : .•' .. "Most selfish* disagreeable, con- . ceited, or-- unreliable adults were once spoilt '■,'. ,-...-' . "Remember that what the child is m temperament up to 10 and 12 years of age usually indicates what he will be all the rest of his life. "Temperaments are more moulded that born; You can mould him during these -flexible years into almost anything you desire. "A., spoiled child generally means he has .sejfls'h, thoughtless, or neurotic parents. . ■ - ; \ ' ■ ■ "Begin anti-spoiling methods early. A childcah be as thoroughly spoiled at two "months as at two years. "Do'ii't always do for your child those things'; 'which he should learn to do for himself.- ;■■•- . "To 'giye in' habitually to the child is. not • an' evidence; of' real mother love.'^More^ likely if is cvi-"' dence of' pri^ing^immediai'e I'com-V 1 " fortibove the%nil&'s uitmfatl'wfei-^ fare. '"'.".:'' I "^v'_ J '..:■..'. ? :;1 J#ljon't 'show off' the child' bef6r& company. Even tiny babies soon le^ife b^tnis to demand, excessive attenuon. deternrliny 'jp gi^e y.our child aflj the luxuries "arid^ advantages you may have lacked'inf your. t - own childfccfpd. Make hini earn some of them. It£is,. far better for him. ' ; iJj.Clive him some 'responsibility each

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day; and insist that he carry it out. This encourages self-reliance and fos-ters-pride of achievement. "All praise and no blame, makes Jack a conceited boy. Praise when it is merited, of course, but don't forget the 'beneficial effects of occasional constructive criticism or even punishment." Equally, of course, all blame and no praise makes Jack a sullen boy, and is just as bad, or worse, than all praise and' no blame. . ■■■••■■. ' : .'.• r .-■■•.. The last thing one waritsisover-

discipline or repression. The child needs ample outlet for his energies; he needs to be doing something, ! making something all the time. Nothing is more futile than "don't" constantly repeated. 5 The child who hears "don't" all day : lpng, more or less, may yet be utterly spoiled. Allow the maximum amount .of > freedom for self rexpression and for ;'4ohieyemeilt^ib'ut when you draw the lineTdraw itvfirmly, once and for all. Don't say "don't" - unless you really mean it. vi Of course,' fit isn't easy. Intelligent discipline is "one of the most difficultthings to exercise, but it is a crying need at the; present time.