THE MARRIAGE MARKET

NZ Truth, Issue 1148, 1 December 1927, Page 7

THE MARRIAGE MARKET

CONFIDENTIAL

MOVING CUPID

A LETTER

kThomas Underc!own Lends A Hand To "Vie^ Mat" Aspirants

(Prom "N.Z. TruthVs" Special Wellington Representative.) tinimw ■« » nMnnmn m mini/ i i mnmiiimnimminntnitiniiiiniiHmtiiiiifflinnimiiiiititHimii uiiiiiiiiimiiiiiuiiiitimiuiaumiiM. hiiMinnninmiMiimNmniniiMimiuiHiiiiiiiitiiimiiiiiiiiimiiiniiwniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiniiiiiniiiiiiiimiuiiHniiuiiiiiiiniiiii imiiimmuimiiHimiMmMimiiitimimiii uiiiiintmnHMiiiiij = Ii ' ' " II To those shy a#d bashful young ladies, near-flappers || if and, m fact, all spiihsters of doubtful vintage who have not || j yet discovered th/air beau ideals there is still hope. The en- j| I terprising manager of the N.Z. Progressive Agency, Wei- ff f lington, Thomas! Underdown, will find you a husband. f|

v ■ si iiiiiiiiiwuiiiniwiHtiiMiiiiitiiiiiiniwHHHiKiiiniiiiimiiiiiiiHiinniiiitimiiitiininiiiiiiiuiiHirtm>i<s ■iiniiinnumniiiui.iHniiiaiitiitutHmiiiiiHUHiutniiiHiiiiiuitinuiuiiuiiKUiuiiuiuiriilHiiiiHiuiuir' hair m the middle, for these little things count with femininity. He will also Impress upon you the deßire for secrecy, the ladies will giggle and be delighted, and the men > will sagely concur. Then you will be initiated into the "formula system m connection with the matter m question," swear qn Thomas' hat that there will be no breach of confidence on your part, and agree to do all you are told. You will go away charmed with your initial plunge Into the whole Intriguing business and will write again asking for a further appointment. Everything is bo charmingly confidential and there are no offloious understrappers to deal with. You go right to the fountain head. Again you receive that delightfully discreet and mysterious letter but this time it advances a step further. In all confidence, Thomas will tell you m an off-hand sort of way that "it is necessary for you to send m a fee for registration. My fee for registering name m book is 10/6. Forward this amount along with the form enclosed, properly filled m and signed with full name and address."

Apologetically, Thomas will tell you that it "is nebessary for me to state tha^ on our introducing you to one of our lady clients, a further fee of five guineas, payable m advance, will become due on demand."

So there you have iti The whole business will only cost you a mere * 6/16/6.

Now that the full extent of your obligations has been revealed, "an early reply is needed," so that Thomas may immediately put m train the machinery of his establishment and and get into communication with the woman of your heart's desire.

6?jranTiiiiiimiiHiiiiiniimHiiimiiiiiiiiiiuiiiiiiiiiiH»|iimiiimimiiniiiiiiiiiiiniuiimi|liiuiiiiiiiiniiiii! rjniiuiuiiHiuiiiiiniiitiHiuuumnriauiiiiiiHiwmiHiAimHuiuuiiiaiitnuuuniiiiiiHuiaiuiiimiuiuiii TO those backwar/d young swains and old gentl/amen who have sought m vaiiry^or some confiding partner, "Nil desnperandum" should be your motto, fojv'jffiiomas will solve your perplexities. / The ladjeds -will find him a charming end discfreet man to deal with, for he is a masfter with the matrimonial pair-Lng-ofkr machine. He is the aome of ■pUFghtfulness and consideration and ■fill respect your feelings. r To those who desire seoreey— and when didn't aeoreoy lend ■ piquant appeal to the feminine heart?— Thomas will set that they have sweet fulfilment of their wishes under truly romantlo oondltions. The men also will find the progreielve manager of the N.Z. Progressive Agency one able to adapt himself to their wishes m the all-important problem of selecting* a wife. The game you will enter upon will ibe like progressive euchre, only muoh more thrilling and m the end the prize Will be — a wife. ,

The only pity is that Thomas doesn't jnake his undertakings a little more ■widely known. He would do more (business and would confer a greater number of blessings upon an unromanitic world./ Maybe^he advertises, but perhaps you may learn of his address from a friend, and then all you have to do is *to write a. letter. Of course, the question of money is involved, but that comes later, and moreover, what could one expect when Thomas devoted his time and services to hla fellow-men— and women.

With fluttering heart you await the result of a first communication and m due time receive a nice, chatty and Informal note from Thomas.

There is nothing of the business letter about it for, death of my life, who wants to confound business with matrimony? Possibly it will be worded something like this:

"Dear (Mr. or Miss) : Your letter . • . 100 hand. There is a formula system m connection with the matter m question. I think it better I should see you. Could meet you privately and talk over things (a night will be arranged) at the back of the Q.P.O.

"Give description. Or perhaps you could 'phone me at No. 0000000."

At this preliminary and very friendly and informal meeting, you will perhaps tell Thomas what your hopes and aspirations are, m what direction your fancy runs, the depth of your pocket (should you be a man) and numerous other little personal details that the matchmaker may require.

You like them best with, oh, that baby face, big aauoer blue eyea and golden hair ...

Thomas In turn will want to Know if you drlnlf, amoko or awear, wear Oxford bags and part your

Should you have any doubt as to the suitability of the "goods'' produced, a little postscript attached to the foot of your last letter from the firm states: "If the client I introduce to you does not suit, notice must be received by the manager within 28 days. Date to be taken from your receipt of the first introduction. That will entitle you to be introduced to other clients without further charge "

There you are. You have the de-lig-hts of a 28 days' free .trial and should the party not suit, you can go on selecting ad lib "without further eha.rge" «until you do find someone on Thomas' books who comes up to your special requirements.

No doubt there would be a limit to the list of eligible young ladies •—or gents — whom Thomas can trot out, but any number within reason he will be able to bring Under your notice.

The pity it is that Thomas should hide his light under a bushel, for m his meritorious role of matchmaker — seeking to join together lonely people m the bonds of matrimony— he should receive publio recognition,