The Critic

NZ Truth, Issue 1128, 14 July 1927, Page 1

The Critic

J-FS hard to understand what makes a savage mad. He doesn't even know what static is. #. * * COME people seem to be able to remain young from the neck up, even without the aid of the monkey gland. ». . * * MEWSPAPER caption: "Dispute Over *' Drains." Why not select a' more pleasant place to carry on an argument? * * * pABLE item: "Razor Slashing Orgy." Father trying to shave after a night out. '# # *. THE more our girls take off, the more * they think they are putting it on. '♦TIGHT m our darkness, O." — Mr. Sidey. \* # # THEY are beginning to see daylight ■*• -m the house. # # * CPATTEES are not very good for the eyesight. • # * MOST so-called "go-getters" find it "*■ all go and no get. >c •* •{• PENTLEMEN prefer blondes. So do freckles. c *s * MOST swell restaurants only swell • your hunger. * * • TT is remai'kable how men can conceal ** their idiosyncrasies until they get into the Legislative Council. w * ' * '■ " WOMAN puts the woe into Man. * #7 * ' TF two is company, then tt|ree makes 1 it a liability company. # * » ADVICE to women who want shapely. *** fingers from a fashion page: "Clip a spring clothes peg on to each finger tip." This is a straight tip. for men to ask their wives if they wouldn't like to have shapely mouths/. ■*■'• -.'•.'• ■'•-. i *J* ■■■'.-••■■.•• -^.*' -*'•"■!%•'<• Ti.-- -, - MEWS Item: "SkirtMj are reported to • be' keeping about the same length." Yes, but some girls -.are longer-' than others. •'. 7 . ■ # * ♦ MEWS' item: "A new electric machine can mince , beef besides washing shirts." Men with absent-ininded wives will be getting collared beef for tea. * * * THE gilded youth at the stage door • hitches his petrol-wagon to a star.

"W/HAT'S wrong with the world?" ** asks a distressed contemporary. We don't know, but it keeps turning over and over. • * *!• * r-OMMUNIST influence is weakening m China. Now the reds are no longer the 3 rellow peril. CIR ESME HOWARD urges creation of goodwill among Englishrspeaking people to abolish war. He is jure to start a fight over that. * *„ i * THE weaker sex and the meeker sex. But which is which these days? !<* * m T JNDER his wife's pillow/petitioner found a stranger's pyjamas. What a pillow-slip! »# * • TOTE odds under the new rules m N.S.W. have become merely tote oddities. * * # ■ „ TP the Prince of Siam, who is to visit Australia, comes to the Dominion, our City Councils can supply him with plenty of white'elephants. » *■ * » I ITTLE boy who swallowed a halfLl penny was kept m hospital. If hospital treatment fails, send him to Tax Commissioner Fowler. v # m VISITORS to overcrowded hospitals v found that nurses had to sleep m the house next door. That was over the fence. »• • ■ A GIRL routed a burglar by kicking *** his shins. So the Charleston is of some value, after all. n> » * OAID that the summer frock will •^ jWeigh only six ounces. This will be looked into when'summer comes. * » • FUNERAL of^the Japanese Emperor r cost over "& 500,000. Is that why taxpayers cry: "God Save the King?" « • *. ■ MATRIMONY, said a recent lecturer, "■** is a serious word, More—it is a heavy sentence. * # # A COMET has approached within 4,000.000 miles of the earth. Now, you Lindburgs! * . #. -.. CHTNGLING is acknowledged to bp. the most clis-tressing'fashion of all. * # # T.HJEF stole a policeman's coat from a police car In front of a. police station. Now let him try something really risky. * #' # "COMETHING m the wind," says an advt. There }s certainly a nip m it these days. * * » QUR street traffic is anything but a • transport of Joy, ' m