The CRITIC

NZ Truth, Issue 1016, 16 May 1925, Page 4

The CRITIC

is a b^g blank. :: i :: :! ' It will take allot of filling. No doubt theV^Hour will produce a Man. Will it be&THE Man? Is it too much \o hope that Country will rise above P.srty? And Service before Self? V, It is a .great opportunity. But not for opportunism or "ppportunists. Fusion is inevitabl 1, — sooner or later. Have the Fusionist.s the courage to proclaim themselves openly— now? Pacific Navies. — ThatW the stuff for the Socialist Party's sensitive feelings, with' emphasis on the pacific. ■■ ■ Natural history question : Can hawks fly m the gloaming? ' v /■ : : : : : : : ( . A lot of men don't counVt for much. Usually because they can. 't be much counted upon. ■ \. A thing of duty is a bore i\>r ever. French forces are meetir % f»esh trouble from the Riffs. In th s meah.time the riff-raffs continue tho?'- offensive m Melbourne. • '

' After the Dutch attitude towards the Olympic games, attention should certainly be called on moral grounds to the injurious effect of the last syllable m the country's capital, Amsterdam. "There are indications all over Europe of a movement against Bolshevik and Communist agitators."— The first move to make a popular impression should be to forcibly barber the lot of them. Still another film star- m trouble. Betty Blythe has been, captured by Bedouins who were enraged as the outcome of the filming of certain phases of Bedouin life. As Betty is accustomed to "reel" life she shouldn'tworry. . Dean Crotty at Melbourne says the film is as dangerous as opium. We must admit that we have often felt a desire to fall asleep at a picture entertainment. . If you don't hustle. but merely wait for "your ship to come home" you are awaiting the arrival of hardship. The wool crisis. Somebody has got somebody by the wool. ' ' At the Anglican Church Conference, Bishop Cr.answick made a strong appeal m favor of allowing women, to speak from the pulpit. If Eve gets this extra opportunity of speaking it will be "world . without end." Ah ! men. "The Daily Express" ■. says that Trotsky will probably becoma Minister of Foreign Trade. Just another of Trotsky's Triumphant Trots. When he breaks into a canter one of these days he might get somewhere. • Some careless motorists are deprived of their license. It might be more effective to deprive them of a vowel and leave them earless. Baseball is one of the few Yankee notions that hasn't been borrowed for use m other countries. Still, we don't mind a game of rounders when we go to our Sunday School picnic. Don't hate the people who you are foolish enough to think are your superiors. Your doing so demon-, stratesyour inferiority. Every decent man is at least as good as his neighbor, no matter what the difference m salary may be. :: ! ' :! One man's word is as good as another's — unless, of course, one of the men is the arresting constable. "If people got more credit for being .good, more would be," says a religious .writer. Yes, more would be — living on credit. But what about the poor struggling .retailer? He would prefer bad people paying cash. A motorist doesn't have to possess any "pull" nowadays if he wants to see his name m the paper. Democratic control has provided innumerable methods of being presented at Court. Another advertisement: Try our own-grown vegetables. All was fresh. Perhaps they were. We prefer them are. :» •>« To the correspondent who asks: "Does it ever pay to bet?" "Critic" replies that he knows (by hearsay, of course) of some very prosperous bookmakers. ' ' : : •'• •' "Cases were occurring all over the country, and people would be killed" — Magistrate Dyer sentencing a man for being drunk while m charge of a motor-car. Eat, drink, and be merry must now be amended for motorists to eat, drink, and be merciful. A seaplane and an aeroplane collided m England the other day. Apparently the pilots were unable to see plain. It is stated that the 12 members of the executive of the Eastbourne carnival of 1923 will shortly be requested to contribute rach his proportion of the resulting deficiency of £33 Is. — The carnival spirit, we presume, should then be at Jow ebb. It may or may not be . true, that everything comes to him who waits, but it is certain that the road hog who doesn't wait deserves everything that's coming 1 to him.

About this great discovery of the atom. Is it going to make us an atom happier ? "Keep your spirits up," writes the contributor of a Health Column. Some people do it by putting them down. It is difficult this -weather to work up much enthusiasm over Amundsen's difficulties on the way to the Pols. L«ate to "bed and early to rise Makes a man tired When he should be otherwise. Man proposes but the girl's father often disposes. The woman with a past who has an eye on the future saves up her presents. V The dailies reported the other day that a violent resister had knocked a constable unconscious. What is known as "laying down the law." Marriage attracts attention twice: when you go into it and when you get out of it. Many a young- man has squandered his inheritance and, failed to make it last.. 'He might have done better had he made it first.

A strike of .barmaids and barmen is reported from xVerth. We should imagine that this "strike should be conspicuous for laciV of oratorical fervour. The half-year pVofitssof the Colonial Sugar Co. allow a\ dividend of 10 per eent.^a 5/- bonuU • per share,, and £100,000 to the reserve fund. Shareholders would appeal to be well m the sugar. \ : : : : \ ■ : : Cable: "Trotsky resuming work."— Probably a couple of%light rounds m the hopples for a start/ . "A Japanese Commission to handle the Boxer indemnity will'lhave two million dollars -annually... focV-disposal."— This leaves Kearns m- the\ shade. As Dempsey has dropped himi on a 50-50 basis he should apply wiV copies of testimonials and details' -V>f past experiences for a job on this C?ommission. . Admiral Coontz says he anxious to revive delightful memori es of his 1906 visit to Australia and I»3W Zealand. There's- plenty of material m both countries for a reviver. /,.Will the" 1 merchant who givesV three cheers fdr the restoration of th.<? gold standard, as oheerfully give \three sovereigns to funds to assist those*s,who helped to keep the standard flyingV ■:••.,■:: : : \ . There's less harmony m the hr^ne when one of the heads always tries "yto call the tune. \ America has a vice-president wh b assumes the duties of President m cer-^ tain eventualities. When King George " was abroad for health reasons recently his place was, not taken by a vice King. The movies had none to spare. In the Supreme Court at Auckland last week the Court rose at 2 a.m. "Critic" protests. That hour is too late for any proper folk to go to bed, and far too early far anyone to rise. Conan Doyle's devotion to Spiritualism caused him to announce that he would not write any more fiction. But he did not cease doing so. The only change recently is that he has produced fewer stories of spook experiences and has resuscitated the much more interesting Sherlock Holmes. "Fewer accidents would occur if the law permitted road-hogs to be shot," writes a newsraner correspondent who signs himself "Victim." But, dear "Victim," surely you are aware that 98 per cent, of the hogs are — shot! ' The only interest the usurer takes m his customers is to take it out of them. A London paper announces that proprietors of restaurants "are shortening the legs of chairs to solve the embarrassments created by short skirts." Lord bless us, but who was embarrassed ? Some people are content with their lot because it IS a Pot. Some racehorse-owners run their horses to wins ome of the time; others run them to win every time — but select the most likely time to start. Sometimes the punter wins. : : : : : ! That dreadful dole problem m the Old Country might be solved if someone could, only discover how to make useful work more popular and less dreaded. An American paper announced the other day that a. man who had just celebrated his 107 th birthday had never argued with his wife. Will husbands who desire to attain a ripe old age please note? Experience m matrimdnial cases should make our Judges and Magistrates experts at solving cross-word puzzles. The man who declares that no woman ever' made a fool of him makes you wonder who did. Theatre-goers who can't afford expensive seats and who object to being compelled to wait for hours m queues aiv suffering from a grievance of longstanding. A genial correspondent put a poser i to "Critic" this week when he asked: "Who are the happiest?" After mature consideration we decided to reply: (1) Those who are convinced they aro the happiest. (2) Those unborn.