The CRITIC

NZ Truth, 25 October 1924, Page 1

The CRITIC

Labor Day celebrations on Monday. Most of the celebrants will be out improving, the breed of the thoroughbreds. If it "is wet the local bookies will' give extra assistance m the noble cause. It used to be called "Eight Hours' Day." Nowadays it reveals five hours' weakness — at the races. The American Navy's projected manoeuvres off Hawaii and visit to Australasia are described as part of a plan to solve the "Pacific Problem." Looks more like a, War Problem. Like.the canine, every dogma has Its ■day. . '■ * ■ .* It is something m your favor to have a friend at Court— but not if you are asked to bail him out.

"\ Japan protests that it has fought for the Allies, including the British Empire. No doubt when the time comes it will fight again, for these outlying parts of the Empire. "Gun-running. Maxims for Russia.*' The best maxim for Russia would be: "Do unto others as you would have them do untq you." But that is not the Soviet practice. , . '■'■-■'■. "Flags m the Arctic. Wrangel and Herald Islands." Unfortunately the disputes about flags herald such serious wrangles. "Unofficial Pacts" are reported between Liberals' arid Conservatives m the British Election. The kind of packs that. aire, kept- ijp the sleeve. il :» . :» When m doubt— mind your own business, ■',-. Under ,, the Soviet a lot of, Russian names have been changed.. That seeihs to be the great need of the Soviet— a lot of change. "You can always tell which is the boss's room," said' the office boy who was instructing his successor m his •duties. "There's always a pile of golf clubs m a' corner-r-unless, it's a fine day."' '''"'.. •'''''■/••'' "Critic" often wonders why some of the people' who are /so fond of praising the ideal.^conditions of Soviet rule don't go and* enjoy >them on the v spot and forsake this land of tyranny and oppression./ . .', ...... Many of us have/lots of luck; most of it bad. ' ■'■'■ V,/".,'." -"". "'■ ".' '■'•'• / i: ■'.. : ■' .s :" ' '. 'v« When you " think -of the futilities', of some Parliamentarians, of the .obvious opportunism :'of ; the RedS, 1 - of the continued power of the interested pricer fixers to' fix' prices,': you should be thankful that you, have ; a sense of humor. ' : ''-' ■'•■'■ : V " ' ' • -I* ' - ■:.:-.•• . :■■.;■• •- 8 " .- ', It is a mistake to regard life as one certain kind of, thins after another. So much is uncertain.' If you doubt it, try backing "certainties.".^ It is enough to make the generous founder of the Cawthron Institute m Nelson turn m his grave! Squabbling over the personnel of the Board of Trustees is bad enough; but to introduce the selling of - hosiery (or is it garden hose?) as -,-a sideline is surely departing from, the 'intentions of the testator. Read 'this m the local paper: ; , ■ ■ : , ' , ..; .'";.": •"■'•.:; CAWTHRON INSTITUTE METEOROLOGICAL ;STATION Report, for 24 hours ending 9 a.m. . Our two pairs ' ' for' 6/6 ' Ladies' Hose are worth 9/6' i' Try them.' ' Tuesday/October '.14, 1924. Or has' 'that ' Prints' 'of ' 'Jester's, ' ' Mr. Printer-man, been :at one of .his merry Jests' again ? '. As > the ' report ' records "Rainfall— nil,", perhaps he* had no Water to mix with it, ;

Nelson Day was celebrated on Tuesday. Full reports are not yet to hand . from Nelson, but it is understood that > spraying was not neglected, m order that there should be no apples of discord. ; "Business Blockade." .And there are also business blockheads. ; I The trouble with people suffering i from kleptomania is that they are ' always taking something for it. "Critic" has authority for stating that speculators are buying up land s in the Hurt Valley since the Government announced, its intention to build another railway line up there.\ It is i safe to predict more heavy investi: ment m that locality to-day, and on Monday. „

"The Dentists' Bill has met with a lot of* opposition and has been productive of much debate," says a political news item. Quite so, but even if you can't grin and bear it you must bear it-^and pay it. -. Who dares repeat the slander that America is slow at getting into grips with international affairs? New York cables tell us that the subscription books for America's share of 110,000,600 dollars of the German loan were closed twelve minutes "'. after they were opened — over-subscribed. . Ye Royal and Ancient Game of Bowles is m full swing again. "Critic" is authorised to contradict a report that lockers have been abolished. They are still available to keep bowls m. • :: :: t» The older you grow the less desire you feel to work hard so that your children may have an easier, time. A syndicate is to be formed up the -East Coast to can mussels, pipis and cockles. Here's a chance to work off the old joke: What they can't eat they can. And no doubt the buyer will shell out. The best of things comes to an end. So does the . worst. They still say the session will end this month. May its' end produce peace.. Its life has produced much that passeth understanding. • : The world does hot exist for our weaknesses, but for our strength. "There is nothing like balance m room arrangement," says a lady writer iii a daily, "Critic 0 would prefer a substantial bank balance, but his opinion,is based on hearsay evidence. Possession of an open mind is no proof that a man Has no convictions, The man who takes the law intc his own hands runs a risk. For instance, if ihe embraces a. policeman. , It is an indication that you .have been weli , brought up when you &a.y "No thank you" when you are dying tt- say "Don't mind .if I do." One advantage of not being rich is that you don't have to be suspicious when a relative" appears to be kindly attentive. An advertisement m the "Waikatc Times;" prosaically under the heading "Exchange," reads: Young man wishes to exchange diamond engagement ring for sixchambered : revolver; urgent.—Ap- . ply "Heartbroken," c/o "Times" office. Tut, tut, laddie! Don't take it so seriously. .Be thankful s you- got your ring back. It. might come m useful yet — and often, even if you only pop it;, whereas one pop : from the gun might mean you'd miss a lot of fun, Cheerio! , '