The CRITIC

NZ Truth, Issue 976, 9 August 1924, Page 4

The CRITIC

"Accident at a ford."— Thank goodness there are plenty of service stations handy. As an old "Hansard" reporter once remarked to "Critic": "What a pity members of Parliament — especially the now ones— don't make a study of 'Hansard.' It - would save such a lot of time and money. They go on making 'new* points that are old. Year after year they ask questions that have already been 'Hansard." :: :! :: Cables tell us that Russia is extensively arming. Preliminary, of course, to a little more extensive and intensive harming. Dignity often cloaks a limited intelligence. Tho Persian Government has made a promise to the United States to "repair" the incident m which the American Vive-Consul was killed. No doubt the "repair" will last as long as "Persian lollie" does when you start to operate on it. .. ti Why should a man saddle himself with a wife when he can buy a nonstop gramophone for a couple o f guineas! :: Another anti-rat campaign ha.s been started m Sydney. What about another m Parliament before the Legislative Council ceases to exist? People who try to dream winners of races are usually rewarded with nightmares. • ■ it !! II ' Intolerance ran third m a steeplechase event at Rlccarton last week. Intolerance, alias Prohibition, is supposed to have won a big stake m the United States but it Is paying a mighty poor dividend. And the big stake is a mistake. :: :: '■ Some people are crazy about radio. Others' crazinesa has not been completely diagnosed. i: :? ii ■ Borne birds can break stones with their bills; Bomo peck wood. Others think stones can pay their bills; others saw wood. t: :t ix People who advocate an early General Election apparently don't core a rap If some of our Parliamentarians help to swell tho list of unemployed. v :s t$ It Isn't only tho man who Is 111-bred that 'likes a good loaf. :: :: :: » Some people know no well how to behave at tho banquet table that it makes you wonder if ; they, havo, ever Jbeca waitera, _ -^

A noted astronomer says there ar» gases as heavy as metals. We don't like these innuendo attacks on our members of Parliament. . i : ■ , : : : : Much of the drinking m America under Prohibition is followed by the last gurgle. . , , n , :t 4J ■ , Even the poor man can buy trouble. That is one thing the rich man has no monopoly of. . :j :: v The modern , way Borne paper's have of tipping winners: •

I CARAWOCK. , [

But to judge from at' lenst one paper*« efforts the black border was an indication of an obituary notice. It is only fair to state that "Critic" has not given the name of the horse that was "obituaried" m this manner. :: »t «: You don't require to be an actor or an artist to draw a crowd or make a scene. it :t it It isn't only the bashful woman that colors up. ' ' There are only three courses open to a woman proposed to: Yea— No—and perhaps. s: :s :: Some people use walking-stick*. Others wear them. :: :: tt ■■■•-. "I don't believe m women's rights," declared the henpecked husband as he put some raw beet upon a discolored optic that had just stopped one.- • • ■■ •-, :s t: f :•: If you are building upon what the future has m store for you, remember that buildings 'are not erected and stores are not filled without a certain amount of hard work, : : : : ' : : Women, Hko men, are often tired after the day's work. But the gentler sex don't get so groggy going home. sj :: ■:;"•■■ When some of our wealthy companies go In for watering it is a capital joke for the 'shareholders. :: ;: v Wo have heard of punters who have dreamed winners of Grand Nationals and other races but unfortunately our information has come to hand after the event. » ** II ■ "Critic" does not regret having Installed a radio set for his chiKdren. On Sunday night he can rely on the broadcasted sermon to relieve him of the duty of putting the little ones to Bleep. , a : : : ; x Wonder If this epidemic of burglaries is the result of so many of our guardians of the peace being put" on street trafllo duties? it tr it Scientists give us one .cause for satisfaction when thoy tell us that the world cannot last for ever. Thai means that the next war won't iaat iim WAX. ■