"TRUTH" TALKS

NZ Truth, Issue 913, 26 May 1923, Page 4

"TRUTH" TALKS

"The Man" breasted m casually this week as usual and proceeded to discourse on that abstruse* j subject "The Weather." Then he had something /; to say about the gymnastic regulations pertaining By to the issue of railway tickets and sleeping berth •> privileges. Better shelter for tramway employees and the police concerned him somewhat, and he wound up with a dissertation on the habit of "the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick- maker" r weighing his hand m with the goods he sold. |

FULL MEASURE. We heard him m the outer office; "Where's the boss?" "S'pose you mean the editor. Just knock on the door of the next room." He did and shook the dust from the ceiling. "Comein," we called. ♦'Morning, Truth.' How do you feel for answering questions?" "Not too bad. What is It? Not where do flies go m the winter time, we " "Nothing so easy. Here it is. Can you tell me why it is that the worker tries to beat the worker?" "We don't quite get you. Dog doesn't eat dog, you know." "Never mind about dogs. Let me explain to you. As a family man the ■wife has to buy her goods m small quantities."

"We most of us do that." ... "Ah, that's the talk. Now have you ever taken the trouble to weigh all your purchases?" "No, I can't say that we have." "Well, I would like you to do so occasionally, and if you don't find you get short weight pretty often then I'll eat my hat, and it's the only one I have." "Pon't be so foolish. But do you mean to say- we sometimes get short weight?" "Buy a>set of scales and you can find put for yourself. Of course, you don't get treated unfairly all the time. But that isn't the po^nt." "Well, what is it?" . "This. I'm a working man, and so are those employed m. shops. Now don't you think, as fellow workers, they are not playing the game when they 'rook' ( the likes of me Do you think it is a fair thing? It's like kicking a man when he's down; don't you think so?" "Yes, we agree with you, but of course everyone should get the correct weight when they make purchases." "That's right, but you get a set of scales. Sorry to have troubled you. Good morning." THE SWANK OF KIDS. "Competition days draw near, 'Truth.'" "Meaning competition m what particular line of business? The sooner that old principle of competition m all lines comes into its own again — if it ever does come back — the better for the lower cost of living. Now and then we notice some signs of it." "You're off the line I'm. travelling along. I mean competition festivals, music, song and . dance and that sort of thing r not forgetting the art of elocutlng." "Of course, our mind was on business as it affects the plain man, and what think you of the competition season?" "Generally well enough." "Putting the twins In for anything?" "Not yetj the volume is there but the articulation is hardly good enough yet and, just between you and me and the office boy, seeing he's m the room listening, those twins of mine will not go along to competitions when they get a little older unless judges — elocutionary class' judges, that is — make it clear by their remarks that nippers taking part need not hope to gain champion points by swanking and murdering dictionary pronunciations as so many of them do." "You're very harsh. .You wait till Ernie Palliser hears what you've had to say, you'll certainly hear about It." "The. Wellington Society is only one of many. I'm not pointing to it or to any other society particularly, some of tho smaller festivals were more In my mind. Why on earth should swank enter Into elocution?" "No reason at all, but you can't blame the youngsters. Their people show them along that road too often and professors or professoresses, or whatever you call them rightly, fine up tfie points of deliberate mispronunciation. Why, Mr. Man, they have to to make a showing m the eyes of some stupid people who.go for tone." .. .. . "Well, it's up to judges this winter to show them where they're wrong. Other nippers go along and listen popeyed to some poor misguided kid swanking and murdering her Ts' and 'town's' and 'about's' and they catch

the habit. Judges don't like to offend the best people, of course, but they certainly should run the risk m this regard." "Must refer your remarks to some of our private girls' school teachers, Mr, Man, too." l "Good, 'Truth,* I wish you wouldi" THE TRIPPER TALKS. - "The mysterious workings of the mind of railway officialdom are beyond comprehension, 1 ' remarked our caller! aa he placed a small old handbag on a chair and transferred from it, to, h^s inside coat pocket an empty flask. "Time is too precious to waste on discussing the obvious," • replied "Truth." ITBut perhans you have some new reason for ybtir axlbriiatib felteraV tiOn?". .-■-■,;. . „ \, ;i ,;,,,. .-.,.,.V^ V,^.. "I Have. I've just been train-trip-ping. Among other extraordinary things I found that at Cook's or a similar agency m Auckland, or at the Central office m the heart of Wellington you can ,buy tickets which you are not bound to use that, day. If you buy them at Thorndon or Auckland railway stations you must travel the day they were issued." "Are you sure?" ; * "I'm telling you my oysrti experience. For instance; I tried to book a sleeping berth at Auckland arid was told I must get my main ticket- first 'I, did as ii was told, went back to reserve the sleeper and was > informed by. the pro* siding genius that no "Berth' was available!" / , . ■'■■" .'■•- ;"• j'--"Your luck was out" . '; "Luck, be hanged. -Why couldn't; the Clerk have told me at tost?"' : : - ,; "We'll inquire. Then you had an uncomfortable .,j6uraey.fK . i ;■ "No; I'm, not as young 'as I used to be and prefer more comfort on a lortg train journey at , a time like; this, so decided to -travel the following night-' "But everyone can't waste a day like that." .-■ „' ;■ • '; ". ■ *.";., .'■ ; . .-.-• .;>■■ "Well," next night when the guard came alqng he told me I could not use the ticket issued at the station the previous, day!" [• . "More regulations?" ■ "Yes, but had I got the tiaket^at; Cook's the "previous day it would have been all right. However, the trouble was overcome by my taking out another ticket on the train for a station not far down the line and then I was able .to use .my main journey ticket.!' - "We suppose that is regarded as one means- of making the railways pay?" "Then it's a mighty stupid and irritating one. Just one more point on this subject for the present. The economy stunt is visible m the sleeping berths. The two pillows provided used to have pillow-slips. Now only one of these safeguards against possible contagion or infection is supplied for the two pillows. I'm not sure whether this saving has been introduced as a slip-policy measure by the Acting-Minister for Rails or not" Then tapping his inside coat pocket and remarking that "he must get this refilled," the visitor vanished. ABOUT THE WEATHER. l "Mr. Man" was looking meditative when he blew m this week, and from some miracle of accident stayed, silent until "Truth" addressed him. "What's the matter, Man? Gastric Influenza or toothache?" "No; I was thinking about the weather." .'.... "That's rather a crude- and timeworn subject, isn't it?" "So'a the weather."

"What's the matter with it?" * , "Nothing:, except that you never know what Jt'3 going to be." "You've always got the weather, forecasts m the daily papers." "That's Just it. Did you ever study them closely?" „ "No, just glanco at them casually. "Well, here's what you get: Northerly to southerly winds changing from east to west with variations from the north-south and east-west Cyclones on the east coast of Johnaonville and balmy zephyrs at Silverstream. Rain may be expected m some parts of the colony at some time and rtne weather m some other places. The bottom has dropped out of the barometer nt Whangarel and the ther>mometer has risen, like Lazarus, at the Bluff. Indications are that the weather will change shortly everywhere except m those districts whore It does not alter. Shipping Is warned that the water is likely to remain wet." "Here, cut it out. Don't you know that the weather, according to Shakosponre and Spearmint, is of the feminine gender, and as such is llablo to change its mind as often as it likes. It's raining now; bet you the sun shines inside half-an-hour." WIND, RAIN AND PROMISES. •'Good morning, 'Truth.' " "Don't talk such utter nonsense. Look out of the window, look atjthoj rain, listen* to the wind, and, for the lovo of Mike, don't stand over our table and drip on to tho leading articlo for the week. Good morning be darned!" "Very testy this morning, 'Truth.' S'prlsod at you." "We are testy, we admit it, but we had to stand twenty minutes waiting for a tram that went two minutes before wo got to tho slop—you know what wo mean— and got beuatly cold und wet and mlaorable to start tho "■"Twenty minutes! Good gracious, nnd how'd you like to atand In one place for four hours In the open street, without ft gamp ut that?" ■•Wo wouldn't bo «»uch aarnea fools, nor would anyone else ln his right senses." •It inlKht bo your job. \ou might have v. boss who told you Off to do that." , ••We've never coma across a boss no unreasonable und doubt very much it you have." 1 •Evor hear of the Police Department ?"