TABOOING TOBACCO!

NZ Truth, 5 October 1918, Page 1

TABOOING TOBACCO!

Wowsers Make War on the Weed

•'Put a wowser on horseback and he'll tide to the devil" is a better aphorism than that .which includes the word "beggar" "instead of wowser. , At the time the apt aphorism was. first coined, ' there were few wowsers m theworld, as we know them. Those whose minds were cast m the wowser "mould . did not receive the same encouragement from the governments of bygone days. A perusal of the.; literature of some of the giant intellects,: -even up to the days, of Didkens, reveals little to complain about oa the score of puritanical ravings' such. ..as -are "• dinned into* our unfortunate «'ars m these days' of turmoil a^d travail. An outbreak of puri- : tanisinv certainly swept . over England m -the ■ seventeenth century, and was afterwards reflected m America;, but at no time were the "unoo quid" able to stamp their pestiferous insignia on the -foreheads of alleged legislators after the manner born as they are do--|ng?;in"bur':rtime.^^^* • , „~v ■•■ •• ■'■ *.- ' • V . ;i --Ihe wowser.' on the rampage knows ißeither country nor frontier. His -ppeirations are world -wide. Though he ;■- prof esses to regard alcohol and its^ as the acme of his ambi-* •Actions, he is such, a sneaking and snufflihg' liar on a big scale that nobody .outside a Coroner's, jury would believe Hfin. His "influence" swept vodka but , of Russia early m this wary "and tfi'e result may be summed up m the exclamation "poor Russia!" Persistent attempts have been made to "dry up" England and France; and m the' former country it may be admitted outright that the drying-up has not been accomplished for the simple reason ;-that the brewing interests carried hea- £; frier "artillery at court than the Bbm- • *:»astes ivs Furlosos of the, anaemic cold tea ' brlga.de. The -Church of England is a heavy Investor m breweries and other adjuncts of the trade m spirituous beverages; and churches, as a rule, are not so charitably inclined that "they will cut oft! their nose to spite their, face without considerable provocation. . " ■'■ ■■■•:■■■- :♦; •" ' • ' ■ ' The great "land of liberty," the. United States, with the possible exception of New Zealand, holds the highest place /wherever wowsers foregather. For many years the names of the State of Maine and other alleged jEoeemplars' were printed , m big letters land exposed' across the wowser sky for all benighteds to see and ponder over. It was a great blow when Maine '"ratted" and. went back to licensed houses- just before the war; ■ But/ while jthe Yanks, held aloof from the European holocaust, the wowsers over there prepared their poison 'gas In a, manner •which ,even.:the. .German, .militarists^ raust view with envy. They were, thus fully ready, as soon, as, Wilson, elected on a pacifist platform; was -pushed into the maelstrom of war. ; Immediately the , prohibitionists / sounded their toeBln, and; undoubtedly, .they made a fairly clean sweep. The various States under the duress of Congress, . were Vkidded" to accept, one after .another, the doctrine that prohibition should be tried as a "win-the-war": stunt. The result Is, , that, to-day, .the Great Republic hajs practically "gone dry," and the stringency, gif; the position may b r e ; gauged from the fact that the post office m Australia :". .has circularised newspapers intimating that no, newspapers containing! beer or other alcp--1 holic advertisements will be allowed to oirculate "m America. 'during the war period. -.-■ -''f '•■,'•'■■■■■ ; . ' •;'■ . ••'■■■' • : ■-, $■- . . .;- #■ •••#•■ ■ ■ ; . „ So completely have the wowsers captured the citadel from' the. -once sturdy Uncle Sam . that a copy of a newspaper containing a beer or whisky advertisement-, will not be carried through the Yankee : mails! The idea seems to be that the very sight of a beer advertisement would . drive frantic those people who have been rendered feeerless by the'» intermeddling push of killjoys before whom the weak-kneed politician trembles./ And; , emboldened by their initial success, the killjoys are going ''further. We : have always stated 1 that these people. would never remain Batisfled; even, after, whole trenches of .Personal comfort had been surrendered to tiheir onslaught by /anaemic- administrators. Having got" their heel on the neck of the dread alcohol, these geni- ' uses are going f to ''wiii the war" still further by. ' attacking, tobacco. Dr. • Chas. H. Pease, president of the aiiti4 smoking league, has. memorialised Pre-. sident Wilson, asking "that no tobacco . m any."form be supplied to American soldiers, . and that the cultivation of land to grow tobacco be prohibited." Goings right to the "root of the evil,",*h?'- :: --- ■;■■•■■ •: :■■.■'■ . "'. :■: .■; ■.' ' .■- ■'■ : ' • / ■ '-• ;■ •; ! : . •' . ■ ' But, wait. / Dr. i Pease' is magnanimous. He adds, as a postscript: *"I understandth^t m Germany the Go^e^nment supples those soldiers who crave for tobacco with cabbage-leaf cigars. This I have -no -objection to."' Just think :of '.-it! Cabbkge-leaf ; "cigars"- .for Midlers!/" The "wowser jiiind Is an intricat* problem, It xrieasures every

other person's appetite by its own standard; everybody's, taste by its own palate. Not " one ..of these pests raises a voice against t'he huge silk-import-ing industry established with Japan since the war. There is m their'lexicon no such thing as. a superfluity of silk. The' wives' and daughters of millionaires., must not come down so low as to wear what 'common folk do next their, tender skins. , But the soldier and his friends must: not take a 'glass of malted liquor, or -worship at the shrine of -My Lady Nicotine, for fear that the •war will be lost. Silk will win the war, apparently;: but tobacco and alco-hol-will lose it Arid these destructive Jeremiahs have not one scintilla of a recommendation for substitute industries. '■ ■'• •■ • ■ ■■•■.■.'••#;. ' The praises of tobacco have been sung by almost a& many "poets as the praises of wine. "Divine' tobacco," the poet of the "Faerie Queene" ? called it, while Charles Lamb hailed it as "plant divine, of rarest virtue." "The man who smokes, thinks like a sage and acts like a Samaritan,", said Lord Lytton; and m the same strain he wrote m another book: "He who doth not smoke hath either known no great griefs, or refuseth himself the softest consolation, next to that which comes from heaven." Rudyara Kipling! To*n Hood, and many another poet have sung the praises of "My Lady Nicotine"; . but perhaps the finest eulogy of the weed is that by. Byron: Sublime, tobacco! which, from east to west, Cheers the tar's labor . or the • Turk- . man's rest; ■ , Which on the Moslem's ottoman divides His hours, arid- rivals opium and his brides; . Magnificent In Stamboul, but' less ■ grand, ■ • . Though not less loved, m Wapping or the Strand; Divine m hookas, glorious m alpipe, When tipped with amber, mellow, rich, • \ and' ripe; . Like other charmers, wooing the caress More dazzlingly when daring m full . . dress; '" Yet thy true lovers more aclmire by far Thy naked beauties — Give- me a cigar! ■ ■ ■' ' ■••' • '-■ # ■ As "Truth" has always said, the chief characteristic of the wowser is his desire to suppress the 'pleasures' of the people. All, joy is anathema to him. ' He denounces drink, not because of the evils which follow m. the train ,of intemperance, but- because- drinking gives pleasure; to the, drinkers. <For. : a similar reason he wishes to taboo tobacco, damn dancing, and stop smoodging. If he had his. way, he, .would, suppress racing, hunting, boxing/football, cricket, and all manly sports, censor •literature and the picture shows, 'and make happiness a criminal offence. He has already gone a long way m that direction, and unless lovers, of. liberty, are up. and doing, this world will be no place for manly men or womanly women; or for anybody but sour-mind-ed, snivelling, snuffle-busting psuedosalnts. . ' ■ ■•'■'. '■'-