ELECTING A PRESIDENT

NZ Truth, Issue 602, 30 December 1916, Page 3

ELECTING A PRESIDENT

Yankee Doodle Doodling (By Will Hope) ■ j After one of the most venemoua contest m the history of , American politics, W»odrow "Wilson has been re-elected President of the United States. That's old stuff. But I just mention it — or rather confirm the news — <is there was quite a mixup at this year's election . Some of the New York dailies tried to ■frork a scoop, and fell In badly. Before the final figures -were anywhere to hand, they calculated that Justice Hughes had done the trick. News was flashed round the world that Hughes had won. But not co. At tho eleventh hour the sunktesod West came to the rescue and' put It over for democracy . Then they had to turn round and contradict themselves — with apologies. As ■Wellington said to Cresy at the Battle of Waterloo, "It was the damndest nearest thing you ever saw." And so it was. It was a blgr bump for the Republicans and Wall-street. In previous years the presidential election was always decided by the East, but not 86 this run . The West came as a big: surprise and upset all calculations. "Lota of dollars were splashed on the event, and many pulled off crazy stunts that would make a clown look ridiculous. As a result of losing his election bat one guy had to roll a roosted peanut for two blocks through a crowded thoroughfare with a toothpick. Can you beat that? Another man, a prominent broker, led a. calf on a rope round the town for an hour. Another guy had to pawn bis false eye to pay an election bet It was In the agreement that he pay Che debt with It. To wade a barrel of beer across the Mississippi River, and on reaching tho other side, sit by and watoh the win- j ning party drink it, fell to the lot of a man from Missouri. The joke of wheeling a man round the town m a wheelbarrow is quite a common sight after elections m this country. That's nothing. One "feller" had to chase a beetle round the botanical gardens with a clothes prop. A banker m Milwaukee ato tender milkfed chicken while his colleague had to eat the toughest crow that ever crew. Some banquet! Here's a good cocktail! One enthusiast took an oath binding himself not to shave until Grape-juic« Bryan was elected President. As the result of losings his bet, a university student had to blow a maple leaf up a three-mile hill. It took 'him som« hours to perform the feat, but he saw it through, despite of the wind that blew. It cost him unsightly knees, and m the end ho had to be taken to consult a doctor. Good -night!